When things hit rock bottom the only answer is to fight the way back up...

Bobarella

Hope you have a nice day. It's a tricky one your son's comments. I think you have every reason to have been tense and concerned recently. You can't be Mary sunshine when you don't feel it. It is hard though because children are sensitive and pick up on adult emotions. Is he specifically criticising you or the general atmosphere?

Hiddenidenity

Mainly me he says he struggles to know how to act/behave because some days I'm really happy and fun and others I'm sad and want them to be quiet. It's made me feel pretty awful tbh that an 8 year old feels he doesn't know how to act around me

charlies_tribe

Sending hugs for you. Have a fantastic time, lots of fun and let them see that maybe it's being at home that can make you 'grumpy' (sorry, couldn't think of a better word) and hopefully they'll realise it isn't just your fault and that it's the whole situation that can make you seem grumpy (I know my kids think i'm the mean strict one as dad lets them have loads more). I hope that makes sense, i'm not very good a writing things down xx

Doobop

Just wanted to say I really hope you have a good break, hope a few quiet coffees will help you think. No advice about your 8 year old but good that he could tell you.

Suffolk_lass

I agree with Doobop, it is very positive that he could tell you. A day or two of quiet reflection and I am sure you will realise what you need to do. We all let our emotions and feelings show, it's really about finding the time and space to do this. I had a friend at work that worked in a different area to me. We used to use each other to vent and let off steam so that we had our professional faces on in front of our staff. Today we all try to be mindful of the effect and impact our words and behaviour have on others.

If you want to practice your calm demeanour, you could try one-minute meditation to clear your head - there's a video clip on youtube with a cartoon stick man - less than five minutes to be talked through it and have your first go. Enjoy your break

Eager_Elephant

((hidden))

I'm sorry that your son's words cut deep - I agree with the others who say that it's really positive that he was able to tell you how he feels.

You do have good reason for being 'grumpy' on some days - you are dealing with so much without much support from your OH.

I know 8 year olds don't need to know exactly what has been going on but I think you could explain in basic terms why some days you are 'grumpy'.
You could explain that you have a lot to juggle each day and sometimes it all gets a bit much for you.

My daughter (14) often tells me what a crap mum I am!!! Apparently her friends mums go to the cinema and bowling etc and I don't. Also she says I am boring because I don't mess about like her and DH do - I told her that this is who I am and she can like it or lump it!!
Kids can be hurtful at times.....

Hope you continue having a fab holiday.

Hiddenidenity

Thank you for all your replies I have been reading.

I'm glad DS felt he could tell me. I do think he's overhead adult conversation with family about my MH side of things and he's picked up on more than he should have/I wanted him too

I'm well aware I'm very up and down and there isn't a middle ground and this is obviously something I have to take on board now and try to prevent the kids being affected by it.

The holiday is going great. I was really worried about keeping the 3 of them in check by myself but it's been fab

We're having an early one tonight and the kids are eating dinner then getting their showers. We've done loads of walking and playing in the sand etc I think the fresh air is catching up and they've requested an early night an a dvd :rotfl: :rotfl:

ada-or-ardor

I wonder if, rather than hearing stuff you don't want him to, now might be a time to sit him down and talk to him factually about your MH? Kids are so good when you're honest and tell the truth (in a moderated fashion of course!). I think it would be very healthy for him to know why you are the way you are. Charities like Mind and SANE have helplines you can ring you might advise some tips and approaches for doing this, if you felt the time was right and he could cope. There's such stigma around mental health and it's so hard to open up to people - I do speak from experience. But maybe his comment about you being grumpy was the best way he could express that he has heard all these hushed conversations about "mum's ways" and is really concerned, and was hoping you might open up to him if he expressed how he felt. If you think he's already cottoned on, now would be the perfect time.

Glad you are enjoying the holiday - massively well deserved :-)

Ada

Hiddenidenity

On money side of things. We've still not broken in to our £20. We have used the coppers in the arcades however.

Other half is asking me to send him money over but I've said I have none hoping to leave the £20 in the bank so I can make another payment to council tax before Friday

We've taken sandwiches and refilled out drinks bottles with ice and water for our walks to stop us spending on supplies while out tomorrow we're going into town so we'll probably end up breaking into the £20 in my purse because the girls will no doubt spot something in a charity shop they 'have' to need.

Maybe not though. If the weather's unsettled we'll go to zoo (using mum's yearly pass) and take sandwiches/drinks etc so a free day

I must be the only one to come on holiday and have more nsd's than at home

Hiddenidenity

The weather is lovely again today

The kids are fed and we are going to walk through a nature trail to town. DD is dying to spend her £3 she was given of my mum. I'm hoping it doesn't cost me anything and they just spend their own £3 but if I do I guess it's not the end of the world. We might need a bottle of milk.

Youngest wants to live here forever :rotfl: I'll take that as she's having a good time