When things hit rock bottom the only answer is to fight the way back up...

Hiddenidenity

He isn't really impressed at the idea tbh. So I'll discuss it with my mum on Monday.

Meal plan.
Today: Lasagne, wedges and garlic bread (ordered by DS)
Sunday: Chicken, Potatoes, veg.
Monday: Curry & Rice
Tuesday: Spag bol
Wednesday: Jacket potato with whatever they choose (they all have different)
Thursday: Chilli

Wouldn't usually have 3 mince based meals in a week but OH put the mince in the freezer for me and hasn't portioned it up so I have 3 lots of mince at 1.7 kg each :eek: will make double of the meals and freeze half in 'ready meals'

Chicken is a whole chicken so will do the roast, then curry and the left overs made to sandwich fillings and soup from the real last bits with the left over veg and anything looking sad.

Need to make birthday cake, so will do fairy cakes for snacks too. Flapjack and biscuits just because I have all the things in for these :rotfl: same snacks as last week oh well

Toni'sfriend

Hope he appreciates the effort you make in making these meals and looking after his children.

Sayschezza

Hiddenidenity wrote: »

So now we look like this
Weekly

Outgoings

£113.07 Rent (£15 goes to arrears)

£45 Council tax (Absolute minimum to be paid to clear for 2018 bill being generated)

£30 Gas & Electric (Pay as you go, debt automatically taken from each top up at £7 a week from each meter)

£6 TV license

£20 Virgin/Mobiles (Can't wait to get rid of Virgin)

£15 Bus pass OH work travel

£6.25 School Dinners

Needed for bills £234.75.

Debt minimum payments.

Big fine (OH) £25
Small fine (me) £5
Friend £20

Total £50

Not urgent but needed

£10 Aunt
£10 Mum
£10 Step dad

Total £30

£314.75 needed before we even food shopping/school expenses/things that crop

Income

OH wage £200 (This is what he plans to 'give' to the pot each week
Child benefit £48.10
Tax credits £109

Total £357.10.

Leaves £42.35 for nappies/food shop etc.

Things to catch up on to make above work.

TV license [STRIKE]£24[/STRIKE]
Mum [STRIKE]£50[/STRIKE] £30
Council tax [STRIKE]£64[/STRIKE] £44
[STRIKE]Small Fine £105[/STRIKE]

Debt 16/5/17

Council Tax [STRIKE]£2092.71[/STRIKE] £2066 (£15 paid)
Fine 1 £1250
Fine 2 [STRIKE]£200[/STRIKE] £85 (£5 paid)
Aunt £1000
Mum £340 + [STRIKE]£87[/STRIKE] £30 (£20 paid)
Step Dad £1000
Friend £1379

Total [STRIKE]£7348.71[/STRIKE] £7155 ( £198.71 paid )


Rent arrears [STRIKE]£3381.28[/STRIKE] £3365

Just a thought. If oh is keeping money from wages for himself you don't need to factor his travel money into your budget.

Toni'sfriend

Sayschezza - Seems reasonable to me.

Hiddenidenity

Sayschezza wrote: »

Just a thought. If oh is keeping money from wages for himself you don't need to factor his travel money into your budget.

Oh good point. I'll tell him this

We have agreed to sit and discuss things properly once the kids are in bed.

He's been thinking about stuff so hopefully things will be sorted now.

Toni'sfriend

I really hope so because for your health's sake it cannot go on like this.

bubblycrazy

Sayschezza wrote: »

Just a thought. If oh is keeping money from wages for himself you don't need to factor his travel money into your budget.

You shouldn't be paying his mobile top up either.

Hidden, you are incredibly strong and brave and capable of achieving all of this, but not with an OH like that. I think you would be financially, mentally and emotionally better off on your own.

I hope you take on board everyone's advice as there is some amazing people here who know their stuff.

You are doing really well with the situation you are in, my heart goes out to you and I wish I lived closer!

Keep going one day at a time, things will get better. Can't wait to hear more of your progress :T. xx

Hiddenidenity

Our relationship is complicated. We have good times that are good and bad that are bad. There's no middle and we've done the splitting up and getting back together etc. I think we'll always be together we have to grow up eventually and settle down. It's hard to get across everything without including full life stories. Neither of us have been perfect. I've run up huge debts before when I was gambling. Neither of us have been 'innocent'. I've made us up and leave house several times, relocating miles away then coming back 'home' etc trying to fix things the total wrong way. I'm not proud nor happy of how I've acted but that's done. I have to leave it there and move on trying to be better

It's just in March everything came to a huge head and blew up and I realised I have to change. For myself and my kids sakes. I don't want them to grow up like me

I've no real friends. I've not really achieved anything.

My eldest is 8 and I need to make sure he doesn't think how I've been living is normal.

Yes OH isn't on board with money but he's a brilliant dad and one day he will have the wake up call I did, and hopefully when it happens I will be in a place where I can be comfortable knowing things are in hand.

Without totally going off the aim of the diary and me moaning on with huge posts it's hard to completely paint the picture but it definitely isn't all one sided.

Hiddenidenity

Okay on more positive notes.

Free cooker.. OH friend can't collect but a man with a van can for £20 that's where OH birthday money from his mum is going

Mum has offered us the beds out of her spare rooms because they are having them changed from bedrooms into other things now my sisters bought her house and happy beds accepted she's also offered us the carpets which will do all 3 bedrooms here

She will also have other bits of furniture and stuff as the work goes on win win!

I'm going to ask to raid her paint stores and give everywhere a freshen up. Will just need to buy brushes and maybe some gloss for the woodwork.

She also offered for us to 'buy' her sofa. Well extend our debt to her. This is something I will think about. Mine would last and I don't want more debt. Same goes for her table and chairs.

It will be over the next few months these things are sorted not all at once. Their windows haven't been finished yet and it'll be as her replacements arrive etc.

OH has agreed to leave me to deal with money. I've told him I'll show him what gets sent where and then 'allowance' will be what we can afford after the bills not before. He agreed lunches from home is a big saving (maybe now he realises it was coming out of his 'allowance)

Also borrowed my mum's hoover why they are away

Kids have had 'movie' night and are tucked up in bed all happy and smiles

Bobarella

Movie night sounds fun.

On the hoover thing, I found out last one. I often see Hoover's dumped. Worth keeping an eye out