When things hit rock bottom the only answer is to fight the way back up...

XSpender

I pay my parents in law to look after DS. Neither DH or I would be able to do the jobs we do if it wasn't for the support we get off them. It covers his evening meals, some pack lunches and bus fares as they don't drive and something for their time. People are horrified that they ask for money but what's my alternative? And as I say I couldn't do my job without him staying at theirs the odd night and it is much cheaper and more flexible than childcare.

They buy him some clothes, PJs and toys etc. but would never charge me for it as these are extra things that I could have provided from home if required. If they find school wear or something on offer when they are out and about they will ring and ask if they should get it and I reimburse them. If they take him anywhere such as the cinema or soft play they pay for it as it has been there decision to take him there rather than the park which is free which he loves just as much.

I make them sound great but my MIL is a nightmare at times and I could fill a whole series of EastEnders with the carry out she gets up to!:eek:

Does your Mum see you as a source of easy cash? When DH lived at home and earned a bonus or did a lot of overtime MIL would expect a handout. They were burgled once and they only took DH stuff (he had expensive tastes in electronics and clothes) and he was expected to split the pay out between all family members including those who had not had any items stolen!

I think you just have to draw a line under it with your Mum, agree the final figure as you have done and clearly state that any costs incurred after this date without prior agreement you will not be liable for.

DH parents only speak to us because of DS

I hope you manage to get a good nights sleep tonight.

missymoo81

Hey hidden, hope you're ok lovely. I think speaking to your counsellor might help. Bless you lovely, I just want to make you a brew and give you the biggest hug.

Rubbish snot costs, I have bought mine from eBay in the past and got good make ones for around a tenner. That might be an idea?

How has your day been?

earthgirl

Hope your appointment on Monday helps and you get some rest and peace. Wish I could offer real help and tea and cake!
Kept on keeping on, your an inspiration.

Shelbi

Hi Hidden,

I thought id pop over and be nosey if im honest:rotfl: Ive only had time to read 15pages worth (working backwards) or so but I didnt want to read and run! I wanted to send you a big virtual hug!
Im astounded how you have all this going on and still have time to help others with cookery tips, support and suggestions....Ive got to say You Absolutely Rock!! Thank you!! :T:T

I also wanted to say that you are doing the amazing, I hope youngest feels better soon and your meeting on Monday goes well and it helps relax you! As for your mum seems like a lot of great advice- I was thinking perhaps give her a list of things she can do (cheapy things-park/scavanger hunt) maybe shes lacking inspiration so resorts to things she cant afford and foots you with the bill...I dont know whether its helpful I haven't been blessed with kids yet so have no clue as to childcare/small ones etc and lord knows mothers aren't my strong point either :rotfl: mine can run rings around me most of the time bless her...but I hope it helps...

The sleeping: I once read an article that said if you think on relaxing and good thoughts you can direct your sleep that way...counting blessings rather than sheep...I hope it helps. Mostly I just wanted to say Im blown away by how you inspiring you are....I hope you know that lovely...I wish you a wonderful nights sleep...dream sweet!

Shelbi x

Hiddenidenity

Thank you for all the comments. Mum knows I wanted the final figure and if she tries to change this I think I'll have no choice but to put my foot down firmly. Luckily it shouldn't happen again as she hasn't had them for a while and hopefully won't be any time soon. Although should she need to I will be sending firm instructions

I've only just got youngest to sleep :eek: and she's in my bed :cool: Something I've never done

We where fed from what's in. Wasn't brilliant though

I have loads on this week with appointment's and next week looks similar.

missymoo81

Morning hidden, hope you managed to sleep. Bless you you've got so much on! I hope you have a good day today.

Sun_Addict

I agree with the others, your mum shouldn't be buying things then recharging you. Good idea to pay her off as a priority then it's not hanging over you.

Hope things pick up soon xx

Hiddenidenity

Well youngest strikes again at 3.30 and still going strong now!

Work have given me paid leave until after half term We have some of her team visiting today because this can't continue It's not healthy or realistic for any of us!

She seems well in herself though. So a relief really.

I have to make DS sausage casserole today, I promised.

I have cleaning to do as usual!

I'm looking forward to doing some food shopping on the 18th I have a list of things I need to pay then too. So although the debt won't be going down I will be back up to date on all my bills! Finally hate being behind

Virgin is double payment plus a bit this month, but going forward its £37.99 I feel bad committing to this but we need the internet and the TV is more than being used (especially with youngest lack of sleep :cool:) It's still the same contract as before but I've lowered the packages etc. So if it proves too much of a stretch I can still cancel when the contract ends in Feb I made sure of this

I don't have a contract phone, just on g!ffgaff £5 a month top up. Although it's been £10 this month as I ran out of calls with all the ringing round for work/dd/doctors etc. So I need to be more cautious next month. No plans for getting a new phone anytime soon. Mine is old now but I love it

Gas/Electric switched to another tariff - using around £10 electric a week and £6 gas. Considering we use the washer/dryer 4 times a day along with us all having baths and showers daily (me twice sometimes more) and the heating just comes on when it drops below 17 (no idea how often it actually comes on) I think that's okay!

Need to investigate water bill. Sure its around £45 a month for 10 months, won't fit a meter as they say it would cost more.

I need to sort contents insurance. I was so close to sorting it then forgot to actually do it

Christmas is sorted, but then I have all 3 kids birthdays within the 2 weeks (end of feb/first week in march) So need to consider this.

Think that's it for now. My mind has been working over time as you can see

monz

omg hidden as much as i moan about my dad he never takes a penny from me for collecting and taking my boy to school or his swimming lessons or football. I cdnt afford anything otherwise xx

EssexHebridean

Aww sorry to hear that youngest is still struggling so much Hidden - great to hear that work are being so understanding about it though. The visit from the team sounds like a good step to try to sort things out too - fingers crossed they get somewhere with it.

Have you checked your GiffGaff deal is the current one - ie that you're getting as many minutes as you should be? I presume they would change you automatically is deals improve but might be worth a quick check - you never know! Otherwise are there any better SIM only deals out there that might give you a bit more for the same money? I know PlusNet have a £5 a month deal but not sure how it compares on calls - just that it includes plenty for the OH! (Changing will depend on your phone being unlocked as well, of course!)

Here's a thought for you - by cutting your washing down by just one load a day, you could make quite a reduction on your electricity bill. I know it's not *high* as such currently, but every little helps, right? Maybe time to challenge yourself to change beds a bit less often? (And yes, I KNOW we keep coming back to give you a gentle nag on this, but you know why, and that it's done with love, don't you). Of course it will also have the effect of saving you money on washing powder, softener etc as well...even more of a win?!