Money Moral Dilemma: Should I give my ex of 10 years ago her coin collection back?

hannerrbabes

1) how much clutter do you have in your house that you've only just found this collection after 10 years?!
2) if she cared that much, she'd have picked it up by now.
3) if the breakup was that messy, you won't have her contact details and she'd probably ignore you on social media if you tried reaching out that way.

Just give it to a friend who's in contact with her or failing that, give it to charity.

happyinflorida

I'd return them to your ex but if things are still bad between you, do it carefully. If there are wounds, not literally, probably neither of you will want to open them up.

So maybe someone in your family, if there is anyone, who your ex was friends with, could return them? Or is there someone in your ex's family you could return them to and ask them to give them to your ex - obviously that is a trustworthy person!

I wish you luck and hope things go well.

ButterflyLC

If I wanted my stuff back I'd be demanding it back pretty soon after the break up. If it was that important it would have taken it straight away. If she wanted it she could have contacted you 10 years ago, it's not like she would have forgotten about it, I reckon she has probably written it off. If my ex of ten years ago contacted me out of the blue, I would ignore them anyway.

Barryfan

The coins aren't yours, but after 10 years she can't be bothered about them. Why don't you give them to charity? You can then have a clear conscience.;)

pennystretcher

If my ex contacted me about £25 that I had forgotten ten years ago, I would think there's another reason for the contact. If the coins are just "normal" used £1 coins, keep them or donate to charity. Especially if your breakup was messy...do you really want to open that door without a good reason?!?

However, if the coins are in mint condition and actually worth a lot more than the face value, then yes, get in touch your ex.

RedMonty

Put yourself in the other person's shoes.

Do you really want someone from a messy breakup 10 years ago contacting you to give you some coins worth a few quid. MSE readers might disagree, but personally I'd rather this coin-bearing ex stayed well away from me and my new life. Peace of mind is worth a few hundred quid.

If they were worth £10,000+ then sure GIVE THEM BACK TO ME!

Otherwise, for amounts up to a few hundred quid, STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM ME.

Move on. Get them valued, then donate to charity and get a receipt to protect yourself in the very unlikely case of a future come-back.

TokSik

It depends on the level of risk you're willing to take. Retaining lost property owned by someone else, with the intention of not returning it to its owner, amounts to Theft contrary to S.1 Theft Act 1968 -
(1) A person is guilty of theft if he dishonestly appropriates property belonging to another with the intention of permanently depriving the other of it; and ‘thief’ and ‘steal’ shall be construed accordingly;

consumers_revenge

put on 29 Black.


if they win send her half via the post...


if not, theres your solution...

Fireflyaway

Its not yours so of course let her know then she can decide if she wants them or not.

Fishyduck

RedMonty wrote: »

Put yourself in the other person's shoes.

Do you really want someone from a messy breakup 10 years ago contacting you to give you some coins worth a few quid. MSE readers might disagree, but personally I'd rather this coin-bearing ex stayed well away from me and my new life. Peace of mind is worth a few hundred quid.

If they were worth £10,000+ then sure GIVE THEM BACK TO ME!

Otherwise, for amounts up to a few hundred quid, STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM ME.

Move on. Get them valued, then donate to charity and get a receipt to protect yourself in the very unlikely case of a future come-back.

100% agree. If she wanted them she should have asked for them; if she's forgotten about them she can't care that much and if she begrudges you giving <£100 to charity after 10 years then she definitely doesn't deserve them.

It would need to be a very large amount of money for me to want my ex to contact me; if you feel you need to give them back I woukd stick them through her letterbox.