Money Moral Dilemma: Should I give my ex of 10 years ago her coin collection back?

Robisere

You say you "..never swapped stuff back.."

Must mean she still might have stuff of yours. Do you want any of it back? If so, contact her and say so - "I would like my -(whatever)- back, by the way I have found some old coins in a clear-out, are they yours?"

If you don't want any of your old stuff back, it's because you really don't want it. By the same token, if she wanted the coins, surely she would have asked for them by now? Or would she?

gaillimh

The value of these coins may well prove minimal.
Potentially re-opening old wounds however, could prove costly (in an emotional context).

If I were the ex and you got in touch, I'd be very suspicious.

Hol55

I wouldn't treat this as a moral question but a legal one.

Given that you are fully aware of who the original owner is, you may have a duty to return them to her (or at least to notify her of intent to dispose if she doesn't collect them by X date). Check what the legal situation is and then act accordingly, but don't assume that just because she hasn't been back for them that means they're necessarily fair game for you. If she came looking for them and you'd disposed of them while they were still legally hers you'd have a whole heap of bother on your head (especially if one or more of them turned out to be worth more than you'd reckoned on). Do the due diligence and it may still turn out you're entitled to them anyway, but just to cover your own back you should make sure of that before you do anything with them

hazyjo

Fitzmichael wrote: »

Wow! The mere question confirms my belief that, over the last 30 years Brits have developed a culture of dishonesty, and the fact that several respondents have said 'No, keep it', full stop or with some (reason) excuse for it is further evidence of that.
My ex terminated badly (turned out she was developing a personality disorder) but whatever the circumstances, the fact that you would even consider not returning them must mean you have a really gross personality.

After 10 years?!

Not saying keep it or sell it, just don't get in touch with an ex when the relationship ended badly. That's would run the risk of being weird and creepy. The OP said they never swapped their stuff back so I presume some of the OP's stuff is still with the ex.

If you think it means I have a gross personality, that's your prerogative. Yours ended badly as your ex had a personality disorder - perhaps others might think badly of you for not sticking around or helping her understand it. C'est la vie. We're all different - I certainly won't be as judgemental

The point of these dilemmas is to hear others' opinions - not to insult others if they disagree with you.

(No PMs please.)

warehouse

£1 coins are worth £1 each, now 50p's on the other hand...

Spend them on a takeaway.

NBLondon

Is it really a collection? If these are coins in perfect condition and sealed in plastic; yes they are a collection but probably not worth much more than face value. Some £2 coins might be but not £1.
If these are just a pile of £1 coins put aside so as to have one of each design; they are worth £"Number of Coins x 1".

Either way - as you know they belong to your ex - as opposed to just finding a few down the back of the sofa - the moral thing to do is pass a message on. If you don't get an answer - spend them or stick them in a charity box. If she does want them - send them on to her. On October 16th if you want to be awkward.

fairy_lights

Hol55 wrote: »

I wouldn't treat this as a moral question but a legal one.

Given that you are fully aware of who the original owner is, you may have a duty to return them to her

It's 25 quid not a Faberge egg

mailmannz

Money_maker wrote: »

A messy break up = leave well alone.


Donate the coins to a charity if it makes you feel better.

This is a fantastic idea....as long as the local charity is your pub and involves you drinking the value of the coins


Regards


Mailman

Chris156

Of course you should give them back.
The elapsed time and circumstances make no difference whatsoever. They are hers, you know they are hers, she knows they are hers and in the eyes of the law they are hers. It is disappointing that you even need to ask!!!

Happyharley

Who did they belong to originally....give them back.
Are they yours because she forgot them ...............No give them back
Does she miss them, as someone else said, maybe she thought she had lost them.............give them back.

And it is not creepy to find her and return them.........if you know where she is. But if you have lost all contact with her, then sell them and donate the money..........they are not yours to profit from.....

Have a happy life knowing you did the right thing....