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evil stance in divorce?
Comments
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I am thinking if you were guaranteed it will sell swimmingly in 10 years that could be a consideration. As the matters stand if you ex is unable still to buy you out (which is very possible) the likelyhood she is not going to be cooperative with sale, it may drag for a few more years and cost you to sell it. So it is easier not to extend the mortgage. I would not class it as "evil". She is looking after her interests, you are looking after yours. The argument "but I am looking after my child's interest first and foremost" is responded with "she can live with me or in rented/new house with you".
Be prepared to a wrath of indignation hypocritical woman if you do so though..The word "dilemma" comes from Greek where "di" means two and "lemma" means premise. Refers usually to difficult choice between two undesirable options.
Often people seem to use this word mistakenly where "quandary" would fit better.0 -
anyway my dilemma is the following, she has a 'attachment' to the family home and does not want to sell it. she is using the emotional 'fact' that its the house our (8yo) daughter has grown up in, ignoring the fact she has adapted to living with me for ~6 days out of 14 in my rented house over the last couple of years, and in fact seems to be very happy in 'our home'
You've considered I'm sure that your daughter gets to return to her childhood home after staying with you?0 -
I'd advise caution before going down that route.
You're basically waiting x amount of time for the fixed rate to end, + the time it takes for her to get enough late payments that either she realises she cant keep up payments and agrees to the sale or misses enough payments that the lender repossesses which then leaves you on the hook for mortgage repayments, insurance, repairs etc as well as the house not reaching its full potential selling price, legal fees for the possession order etc + 6 years for it to fall off your credit history.
Why not suggest that she try remortgage with her eldest daughter co-signing? That way you get your money, she gets the house and everyone is happy.You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means - Inigo Montoya, The Princess Bride0 -
not going to multi quote as a few of similar thoughts
so yes i could get a big enough mortgage on my current wage (plus the calculated equity i would get from the sale) to buy a nice 2 bed place for me and my daughter - in fact the mortgage payment would be lower than what i have to pay in rent currently
yes my ex could also afford a 2 bed place on the equity she would get, however as her eldest daughter still lives with her she would push for a 3 bed place, which i think would be out of her reach - looking at current prices the difference is roughly £80k between the cheapest 2 bed and the cheapest 3 bed place in the town she lives in at the momentDrop a brand challenge
on a £100 shop you might on average get 70 items save
10p per product = £7 a week ~ £28 a month
20p per product = £14 a week ~ £56 a month
30p per product = £21 a week ~ £84 a month (or in other words one weeks shoping at the new price)0 -
You've considered I'm sure that your daughter gets to return to her childhood home after staying with you?
yes, but its usually under much protest, and sometimes tears, as she very rarely wants to go backDrop a brand challenge
on a £100 shop you might on average get 70 items save
10p per product = £7 a week ~ £28 a month
20p per product = £14 a week ~ £56 a month
30p per product = £21 a week ~ £84 a month (or in other words one weeks shoping at the new price)0 -
davidwood123 wrote: »If she wants your daughter to still spend time in the family home you could always suggest she (your wife) moves into somewhere she can afford and you buy her out and live in the house.
I agree - can you afford to buy her out?
Your OH would have to rent somewhere (instead of you), but your child could continue to reside part-time in the family home.Mortgage when started: £330,995
“Two possibilities exist: either we are alone in the Universe or we are not. Both are equally terrifying.” Arthur C. Clarke0 -
LannieDuck wrote: »I agree - can you afford to buy her out?
Your OH would have to rent somewhere (instead of you), but your child could continue to reside part-time in the family home.
unfortunately not, as the level of equity she would (probably) want out of the house would make a mortgage out of my reach by about £40k - ok this could change if i then become the primary carer and got the child benefit and child maintenance from my Ex.
however i think her agreeing to that has about as much chance as me spontaneously growing a third arm, which i use to create a flying pig, which then proceeds to fly to hell and make it snow.........Drop a brand challenge
on a £100 shop you might on average get 70 items save
10p per product = £7 a week ~ £28 a month
20p per product = £14 a week ~ £56 a month
30p per product = £21 a week ~ £84 a month (or in other words one weeks shoping at the new price)0 -
now would it be 'evil' to take the stance that i will not be agreeing to any further fixed rate deals for the mortgage (current deal ends in October), knowing that this will basically force the sale of the house anyway as she will not be able to afford the new payment?
Presumably, if you did agree to applying for a new fixed rate, you'd be honest in the application. This may result (obv I don't know your financial situation) in the application failing on affordability checks and mortgage offer refused. Therefore you wouldn't need to take an 'evil' stance.0 -
unfortunately not, as the level of equity she would (probably) want out of the house would make a mortgage out of my reach by about £40k - ok this could change if i then become the primary carer and got the child benefit and child maintenance from my Ex.
however i think her agreeing to that has about as much chance as me spontaneously growing a third arm, which i use to create a flying pig, which then proceeds to fly to hell and make it snow.........
But it would undermine her argument that she wants to stay "for her child". At least she'd have to be more honest about her reasons for wanting to stay put.
Although, I'm not sure whether that would actually help matters...Mortgage when started: £330,995
“Two possibilities exist: either we are alone in the Universe or we are not. Both are equally terrifying.” Arthur C. Clarke0 -
I don't know about this from a legal point of view but if you are living apart and soon to be divorced I'd get your name off the mortgage asap. You don't want to be financially linked. What if she defaults on the mortgage? She might like the house but a fresh start might be even better. If its not a 400 year old castle that's been passed down generations I'm sure she will get over it!0
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