HELP grey areas??

bigbulldog

ALW95 wrote: »

& not every armed forces person is mega rich! It's based on rank & what service you're in for a kick off.

Just a simple yes or no to my question would have been suffice not a whole load of judging about my situation get !!!!ed the lot of you.

That's not a nice way to act in fact it's flaming rude to treat people that are trying to help and give you advise.

w06

it's not a grey area.

as a married couple your income as a couple is considered.

Choosing to not follow him on placement doubles living costs, but that's a choice.

Sounds as though as a couple you need to find a way to earn more and or reduce outgoings, there are a range of ways of doing that but as you've told us all to get !!ed not a lot of point outlining them

FBaby

You do have the option of working whilst your daughter is in childcare. What's wrong with increasing your income that way?

Placitasgirl

You've asked for help and advice on a public forum, and must therefore accept that members will ask questions to fill in any "blanks" that may have been left in the information you provided so that they can respond fully and accurately. They will also be happy to share their opinions and thoughts, whether you like it or not, even when it's not what you were hoping to hear.

You are clearly living beyond your means as a couple, and that is down to living separate lives in the UK and Cyprus. The only way to improve your situation is to help yourselves by either reducing your outgoings (living in one home is the most obvious way, despite your understandable reservations), or increasing your income.

Was such a large car loan really necessary? That is such a huge chunk out of your monthly income it seems insane to me. Can the car be sold, the loan cleared and a cheaper vehicle purchased?

Have you explored part time work so that you can increase your joint income? Do you have family or friends who could help out with some childcare so that you could work during the day or evening when your little one is in bed?

As others have said presumably you're receiving Child Benefit, so it's untrue to say you're receiving nothing to assist with the cost of living. However the Benefits System wasn't set up to support families who have effectively placed themselves in a situation where only one of them works yet they're trying to run two homes. This was a choice you made and that's having the most impact on your current situation.

Finally I hope you will understand that members aren't being judgemental; sometimes the situation is clearer for those "outside the tent looking in" to see than to those in the predicament. You clearly feel hard done by, but must accept that most of the reasons that your struggling stem from choices you've made as a couple. That is hard to hear I'm sure, but I hope that you'll take on board the advice and responses members have taken the time and trouble to post, in the spirit in which they were intended.

The honest answer is that the means to find your way out of the difficulties you're experiencing are in your own hands, and the benefits system is not intended to provide support in this situation.

welshmoneylover

ALW95 wrote: »

Hi all.

I need some help for my situation, I'm married and my husband serves in the forces, he's posted to BFG & I'm here in the UK we have a child under 3years old together and I do not work. His monthly earnings comes in at £1600 and £700 of this he sends home to me. As stated I don't work and from what the government websites are saying that because we're married and he works full time (despite it being overseas & him paying out rent/bills etc) im not entitled to anything not housing benefit, income support.. nothing. I get £13 a week off tax credits & I can't afford to live in my own home off the money provided by him & the monthly £80 of child benefit.. surely I must be entitled to something to help me out? .. we don't get the living overseas allowances as I've chose to not accompany him over there.

The benefit system just seems to have grey areas around armed forces & their spouses. Please someone help me!!

Thank you

I don't think this is a grey area tbh and most of the comments made have been helpful.

If you are struggling financially could you consider a part time job?

It might help your MH if you had some time to yourself and you will make friends and open up a social life. It can be isolating bringing up young children on your own

dipsy

Have you gone over and visited and see what you think to BFG it is so different to Cyprus, it is a lovely country - where in Germany is he, maybe you could go over for a week and see what you think to it?

unfortunately you will not be entitled to any other funds in the UK other than the child benefit and the Tax Credits as you are a "couple" and choose to run two homes, albeit he is in the block and you in your family home.

Is your home owned/mortgaged or rented or have you remained in the MQ in the UK?

If in private rented, could you not move in with family until his tour is over to save money for the utilities/rent etc?

Your husbands wages is £1600 - £400 (car loan) = £1200

He is sending £700 to you and you have £132 coming in

so you have £832 and he has £500 is that correct to live on?

So out of his £500 he pays for block accomodation and I assume it is a pay as you dine system as he is in the Army?

Out of your £832 you have to pay food/utilities and rent?

Are you sure he is not getting LOA - you going as nothing to do with that, he can't claim SA (separation allowance), as you have chosen this path yourselves and nothing to do with them unable/unwilling to house you or it being an UT (unaccompanied tour)

The LOA is for the cost of the living difference for basics like bread/milk (or whatever they are using today as the base measure), so I can't see how he isn't getting this.

Also fuel for your car is significantly cheaper, tobacco (if he smokes), beer (if he drinks) are all cheaper.

Re the comment

[B]He's sending not even half of his income home. I'm assuming he doesn't have expenses for living there (all of my forces friends come home with more money than they know what to do with) where is the £900 going?

Why does he have rent to pay on an army posting? [/B]

I assume you have no connection to the forces? My visitors once said to me when I was busy turning lights off behind them, "its not like you pay for it, or your accommodation" I soon enlightened them, and trust me once you have a family in the forces the money is not all that, I suspect the people you are referring to are single and spending all their cash on designer clothes and flash cars, but the reality for a family in the forces is far from that.

marliepanda

I'm referring to the fact that the lads I knew (yes single!) had nothing to spend their wages on (tho they were navy on boats and ships, so maybe different) and didn't have living expenses.

However, for £400 a month I'd expect a flash car too...

teddysmum

I'm sorry, but if you could count debts as a way to reduce your income and so get benefits, we could all buy lots of things on credit, then say we have no money; a luxury car, second home, boat, luxury static caravan, insurance for all these, large bank loan, they would get benefits for most of us, but who would pay them ?

Dullville

This thread is hilarious...:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:
Matey over in Germany is having a right laugh..course he will get the living overseas allowance (LOA), OP have you actually seen his payslips? If he's living in the block all his accommodation charges will be deducted from his wages at source.
Sounds like he's having a right old tear up when he's away, as someone else has mentioned beer and smokes are really cheap over there.
:beer::beer::beer:

Diary

A somewhat unpopular viewpoint I think but...

I can't help wondering if the husband has somehow dissuaded the OP from going for some reason. From experience I would've followed my husband anywhere and him me if we'd had to have. He'd have wanted his family there with him and no,we're far from perfect as married couple but still would have stuck together. As, I suspect, most married people would.