Family

Torfoxwell

Ia there anyones family who isnt being very supportive of them buying a house ? Iv been told not to sign anything buy my dad , my aunt rolled her eyes and toldme to sack it off a find another house and she dsnt like the fact my garden isnt directly outsidethe back of my house...got to admit i snapped abit today which isnt like me as we are a close family , just wondering if anyone was in the same boat ? I even try not to talk about the house to them all now.

goodwithsaving

You're buying for you, not them. I've been there!

Torfoxwell

Just feel like the whole thing getting a mortgage these days is hard work so i was estatic when we got our offer and all anyone did was asked if i was sure...something about how hard is it self cert or something...just taking away my excitement , like you said im buying for myself but a bit of positvity wont go amiss

bouicca21

So just why are they making these comments - trying to help by passing on accumulated wisdom? Or undermining you so you will stay where you are?

Being irritating doesn't necessarily mean they aren't trying to be helpful.

cloo

Not been in that situation, but is your dad giving a reason for you not to sign anything?


You say your aunt complains that the garden isn't directly behind the house, has she given you a reason why that's a problem? If you're saying you can't access the garden direct from the house, yes, it is kind of a problem, you might find that odd features like that will make selling on difficult when every other house with a garden you can walk straight in. If it's just that it's to the side or something, then maybe your aunt's nitpicking a bit.


It's such a huge investment, everyone will have an opinion, but sometimes they will be right. Maybe try and look at it objectively and assess whether they have reasonable points to make and might just be trying to prevent you making a potential bad call. If they are raising specific problems, ask a friend what they reckon, perhaps, so it's less emotionally charged?

KateySW

They might mean well, but I can imagine that would be irritating. The most important thing of all is this: you're the one who has to live there! You can ask them for advice but ultimately it's your decision. Try to be polite and change the subject if they do it again on a subject you've thought about or don't care about. Or failing that tell them that while you don't ask them to approve of your decisions, you at least ask that they respect them. Leave it at that. I've had one or two family members say some irritating things, trust me :wall:.. but I've generally just said something non-committal like "oh yeah, thanks", "I'll bear that in mind" etc, and shrugged it off. Or tried to at least!
Advice can be good and feel free to ask plenty of questions if something they say worries you. They might be concerned about when you want to sell it again for example... but at the end of the day, it's going to be your home first and foremost. Whatever happens, you'll be the one dealing with or living with it.
If you've done your homework and are happy and confident this is the home for you, be happy about it! It's a really exciting time!

ACG

Self cert isnt hard, it is impossble now a days, but I am not sure why that affects you.

Congratulations!

My mortgage is half what the rent would be. I can also hang a picture or decorate without asking permission.

Do your relatives own their own home? Are they jealous?

ReadingTim

Sort of. When I was first looking to move out of home, I was looking around the area I was working at the time. It had reasonable transport links into London, and property prices were somewhat lower there than the surrounding areas. Unfortunately, it was Slough. On telling my parents my plans (and despite them encouraging me to get on the property ladder), my Mum really took it badly, with one comment in particular sticking in my mind: "why do you want to spend your money in Slough? Why don't you look elsewhere, like Reading for example?". I'd never considered Reading before, but to cut a long story short, bought there, and have been there for the last 11 years.

She was also quite dismissive of the place I bought when she first visited, a day or so after I got the keys, but seems to have come around to the place in the decade since.

Frankly though, I don't really care what she thinks because I love the house and have greatly enjoyed living there.

BLOW_FLY

My Dad has always been dead set against us buying a house but it's a long story, very long.

Always thought it was because he had our best interests in mind but as things have developed over the last few years we've come to summise it was probably more to do with his own insecurities and maybe a touch of jealousy.

Never got to ask him outright since my Mum died two years ago and he disappeared to the USA......

BF

Victor_the_Gink

Is Crashy your dad?

Davesnave

My Dad told me I was buying trouble when I purchased a 1930s semi, but that was because he had building experience and realised the place had been built "economically" to give it such a large plot within budget.

I saw the large plot, the extension space and the upcoming area.

Who was right? There were times when I wished the house was better constructed, but we lived there happily for 21 years and benefited greatly from the way the area's image improved. We even retained a piece of the land and sold it later to 4 neighbours.

No house is perfect. You must pick which imperfections you can live with....and it is you who'll live there, after all!