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  • iammumtoone
    iammumtoone Posts: 6,377 Forumite
    Tenth Anniversary 1,000 Posts Name Dropper I've been Money Tipped!
    Actually your dad has a point, don't just sign anything without making sure you have read and fully understood what you are signing.

    Your aunt also has a point a garden not attached to the house isnt ideal, especially if you plan to raise children whilst living there, I rejected plenty for this reason. However if you are happy with it and the house has lots of other benefits to outweigh this then go for it. Its still useful this has been pointed out to you as it might not have been something you had really considered getting caught up in the excitement.

    Good Luck buying a house is stressful soon these comments will be faded to the back of your memory.
  • pollyannaL
    pollyannaL Posts: 127 Forumite
    Yes. Totally. Had many arguments with family members. I am learning to shut my mouth if i am viewing a house so they are not involved. So hard though as I do get excited if a nice house come on Rightmove!
  • BLOW_FLY
    BLOW_FLY Posts: 115 Forumite
    Is Crashy your dad?

    :rotfl: ha ha no, not that I'm aware of (I assume that comment was aimed at me?).

    But I'm pretty sure we know each other from another forum......

    Probably wouldn't have bought under the current climate but things never come at the right time and we had to play our hand......

    BF
  • Don't know whether this would apply to your generation?

    - but are you a woman? In which case - maybe you might (even in 2017) be getting a bit of the very divided/negative sort of feelings that I was getting coming over from my mother? Very odd logically - as we've been a home-owning family for a century or more on her side - but she was like that.

    My father was much more logical/supportive and just told me to make sure I was careful about any man I might get involved with after becoming a home-owner (ie in case we broke up and he tried to grab some of my house equity from me).

    So - there might still be some old-fashioned/illogical ways of thinking going on in your family?

    Whatever is the case - it's YOUR life/YOUR house - so the only comments to listen to from them are practical type ones of the "Have you spotted that dry rot in the house or Japanese Knotweed in the garden?" type line. Other than that = none of their business.

    Good luck.
  • I'm the total opposite - actually suggesting properties that our son should consider.

    he views it first then if he's interested he'll ask us to see it as well.
  • Torfoxwell
    Torfoxwell Posts: 90 Forumite
    I am not to sure why it is really, but i felt like when i went up for dinner , it was first about the house then about the general election who i was voting for etc ( i thought i'm just trying to sit here and eat my stew) they attacked me about that saying i don't know what its like to live in poverty ( maybe not but i have lived through a double dip recessions when i could barely get a job) .i mean iv got to say i accept that everyone has different tastes in houses, for example my aunt chose a house that is on the main road , she didn't want a survey or a valuation ( she was downsizing so buying the house outright) to me that's her choice i wouldn't buy a house on the main road nor would i buy a house without a basic valuation, did i comment on it , no , and shes loves living in that house so each to their own.

    We had an issue with the land ( the drive) about the adverse possession but they are applying for it , their mother used it for 60 years and i have told my family that the longer it takes for us then the more money we can save really , so for us that's not an issue ( it falls on deaf ears it seems) , with the garden as i have explained to my aunt and dad time and time again that ( although we have a small garden with a garage direct out the back of our house) that the garden down the end is ideal for us as we are keen gardeners ( like to grow our own veg etc) and the views across the field are spectacular , me and my partner went and looked at a few other houses and they are all the same around here really as it was once a miners village so we just came to terms to get the type of house we wanted that the garden wouldn't be directly attached to the house , feel like iv said it once iv said it a thousand times.

    I am female - there has not been so much as a squeak about my brother building a 6 bedroom house in Vietnam.

    to be honest i am a pretty mellow person but i did get annoyed when all this happened and snapped at my aunt a bit.

    Thanks for everyone stories and suggestions , i think it is good to hear how people would deal with it and others who are in the same boat.
  • Torfoxwell
    Torfoxwell Posts: 90 Forumite
    and thank you ACG for congratulations about my mortgage ( i haven't really got any clue about what a self cert is ) apparently my father in law just made up his salary to get the house he wanted and his first house he bought was only 30'000 , he wasn't on too munch of a different salary to what he is now!

    Im pretty chuffed with mine if im honest
  • Tygermoth
    Tygermoth Posts: 1,413 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    Yup, i think people can get really funny about money and houses.

    As FTB everyone felt we deserved to have their opinions foisted on us (my friend says its the same when you have your first baby - opinions as far as the eye can see... lol) to old to buy, market is going to tank, bad area, wrong shape, size plot or garden issues....

    My parents (one who lives abroad and one who lives in the middle of nowhere) seemed to fluctuate between insisting we get a shabby flat and working your way up - like they did or sending links for detached huge houses, or dilapidated farm houses as they thought our budget (modest for SW huge for ooop north) was massive.

    Every house they pulled apart to the point we bought this one without even mentioning it till we picked up the keys.

    Since we have moved in we have had a few snipy comments about it being built up, over looked, new build being naff and on street parking - we live in a city they live in the country. sigh

    We love our house - and i am sure, when yours goes through you will too. Top tip, if the heating goes or there is an issue with the plumbing don't say a word all you will get is a bunch of 'i told you so's'
    Please note I have a cognitive disability - as such my wording can be a bit off, muddled, misspelt or in some cases i can miss out some words totally...
  • iammumtoone
    iammumtoone Posts: 6,377 Forumite
    Tenth Anniversary 1,000 Posts Name Dropper I've been Money Tipped!
    sounds like you have thought about it carefully and house is ideal for you rather than a 'garden' you will be having an allotment within walking distance of you house, perfect for some.

    Good luck in your new home.
  • A separated garden is fine as long as you are paying a price somewhere between what you would pay for an attached garden and what you would pay for a house with no garden at all.

    Anything and everything is fine in a house. Buying a smoking heap of rubble infested by rats is fine. All as long as you are paying the right price.
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