Should I pay my cheating ex?

Marvel1

IgglePiggle1 wrote: »

. I just wondered if there was any logic in what my friends and family are telling me to do, or if they're only thinking that because they're biased towards me and how hurt I was and don't want to see me hand over a wedge of money!

They are biased towards you.

pphillips

I would pay him a penny every month!.

System

I also feel like I'm back to square one though, wanting to get my own place but can't afford it and kinda begrudge having to hand over £6k, even though I have the car!

Suck it up and do the right thing. Then you can move on without having him forever in the background.

Primrose

Tell him your financial circumstances are tight at the moment but you agree you owe him the money and will pay him at £x per month which is what you can afford, and set up a standing order to pay this. If he doesn't like it, he might find it hard to challenge in court if you have already acknowledged the debt and have started to repay it.

Fireflyaway

What is the £6,000 actually for? You have the car and I guess you are making the repayments if there are still any? Or did you buy it cash and that's why he is owed £6,000 because you each paid half?
If you do actually owe him the money then I'd pay monthly to be the bigger person and take care of your responsibility and avoid him taking you to court). Of course I can see why people would tell you not to pay him, but this is a financial transaction with money owed despite the back story. Make sure you write everything down so he can't try and sue you later.

gaea

I know that you're a good person. Maybe it would be better if you pay your ex in installments? Like for every paycheck you receive from the job, you can pay him half until your debt is fully paid.

nimbo

How was the car being paid for? Was it a finance agreement tied to the car? If you're going to be giving him cash you need to know the car had been paid for and is finance free - or you could get in bother later on.

Guest101

The cheating is irrelevant. If you owe it, pay. If you don't, don't pay.


And if you're unsure, go to court (or get taken to court)

pphillips

Seriously now, whose name is the car in an who is responsible for the finance agreement? if the car in his name it may cause you problems getting insurance.

From what you have said I think the difficulty he has in taking you to court is proving that during your relationship, you and he entered into a legally binding contract for you to pay him £6000 for the car, especially if you haven't signed anything to say this was the agreement. You defence could therefore be that the car was a gift and not a loan, because he was feeling guilty for cheating on you.

If you don't want to pay I would wait and see if he takes you to court or stops making the car payments, in which case it would be repossessed anyway.

Guest101

pphillips wrote: »

Seriously now, whose name is the car in? if its in his name it may cause you problems getting insurance. - No, it wont.





From what you have said I think the difficulty he has in taking you to court is proving that during your relationship, you and he entered into a legally binding contract for you to pay him £6000 for the car, especially if you haven't signed anything to say this was the agreement. You defence could therefore be that the car was a gift and not a loan, because he was feeling guilty for cheating on you. - Ye, ofcourse....

If you don't want to pay I would wait and see if he takes you to court or stops making the payments, in which case the car would be repossessed anyway.

And the money outstanding (the balance after the car is sold) still owed.....