Sister has asked me to be her guarantor

Rain_Shadow

I have been a guarantor for my sons' accommodation at university. I'm pretty confident I wouldn't stand guarantor for anyone else.

lewishardwick

VJsmum wrote: »

When they separated previously, they sold their house and divided the profit. He bought another house, she spent her share......

DO NOT act as a guarantor for your sister.

This comment alone should ring alarm bells that would sound a nuclear attack!

VJsmum

Rain_Shadow wrote: »

I have been a guarantor for my sons' accommodation at university. I'm pretty confident I wouldn't stand guarantor for anyone else.

As are we for our daughter, but that's slightly different. It's a fixed period after which she is coming home, also - we pay the rent

Thanks, I think i just needed vindication that we were doing the right thing to say no..

I think I got that

(I have told her that it doesn't mean we wouldn't help her out with deposits, some furniture, petrol or even the rent itself, within reason. But all that is much more controllable...)

What a mess - what a silly silly woman....

tensandunits_2

VJsmum wrote: »

We have discussed it and will help with any increased deposit but will not be guarantors.

It's very good of you to even help with a deposit, given that this is a 43 year old adult we're talking about.

JReacher1

I would say yes. It is your sister and you should always support family. If you can't rely on family then who can you rely on.

It will be remembered by your sister that when she came to you in need you just said no. I suspect this will not be good for your relationship, I hope you never need her for anything

Malthusian

JReacher1 wrote: »

I hope you never need her for anything

I hope the OP never needs her sister for anything too - in terms of financial assistance - because it sounds extremely unlikely that any will be available, no matter how good their relationship is.

Would you be happy to unconditionally gift your sister several thousand pounds (or however much the maximum liability is - rental payment x number of months that the guarantor is liable for)? If the answer is no then don't do it.

I realise that the OP has made her mind up but the above may clarify what needs to be considered before someone makes a decision like this. If I was in this situation there is a chance that I would say yes - but only if I was a lot older and richer and could write off a few thousand pounds for the love of my sibling. At the moment I definitely can't so the answer would be no.

(The rule is very similar to the one that applies when a relative or friend asks you to lend them money. The answer is never lend them money, give it to them - and treat it as a happy surprise if/when they choose to give it back. If you can't afford a gift of the size asked, say no.)

VJsmum

It isn't just lost rent - it's legal fees and bailiff fees to get her out if she doesn't leave, it's clean up costs if she loses her deposit. It isn't just to the end of a tenancy agreement - if she can't pay the rent and has nowhere else to go then she has to stay put until a court order to get her out. It could run into the £10,000's.

I will help her - more than she probably deserves, but i will not commit us to forking out unlimited funds.

Pollycat

Malthusian wrote: »

I hope the OP never needs her sister for anything too - in terms of financial assistance - because it sounds extremely unlikely that any will be available, no matter how good their relationship is.

Would you be happy to unconditionally gift your sister several thousand pounds (or however much the maximum liability is - rental payment x number of months that the guarantor is liable for)? If the answer is no then don't do it.

I realise that the OP has made her mind up but the above may clarify what needs to be considered before someone makes a decision like this. If I was in this situation there is a chance that I would say yes - but only if I was a lot older and richer and could write off a few thousand pounds for the love of my sibling. At the moment I definitely can't so the answer would be no.

(The rule is very similar to the one that applies when a relative or friend asks you to lend them money. The answer is never lend them money, give it to them - and treat it as a happy surprise if/when they choose to give it back. If you can't afford a gift of the size asked, say no.)

As I've said earlier I would refuse to be a guarantor.

I said this on another thread in response to someone who seemed to think I'd been harsh in refusing:

Pollycat wrote: »

You may think that from the little I've posted but the reality was they wanted someone to be a guarantor for a mortgage.
The family member was living in a perfectly satisfactory council house and receiving a fair amount of benefits.
Her partner moved in but they hadn't realised that she would lose a considerable amount of benefit so they decided they wanted to buy a house.
His father - a millionnaire (yes, really!) and his sibling (in a very, very well paid job) had already turned them down.

In addition, he had a house of his own which 'he didn't want to sell to put towards the deposit for the house'.

He said - during the confrontation - "why should you live in a detached house and we have to live in a council house?".

Still feel they were desperate?

Incidentally, they split up later so guess who would have been left paying the mortgage?

But....we have helped my sister out financially in a different way.
She didn't ask - we offered.
We could afford to lose the money in worst case scenario but so far, things are going OK.

I don't agree that you should support your family simply because they are family.
If someone's been profligate with money that they could have used to help with housing themselves and their children, then that's a very good reason not to stand as guarantor.

JReacher1

VJsmum wrote: »

It isn't just lost rent - it's legal fees and bailiff fees to get her out if she doesn't leave, it's clean up costs if she loses her deposit. It isn't just to the end of a tenancy agreement - if she can't pay the rent and has nowhere else to go then she has to stay put until a court order to get her out. It could run into the £10,000's.

I will help her - more than she probably deserves, but i will not commit us to forking out unlimited funds.

It seems to me you have looked at the most ridiculous over the top scenario and used that as a reason not to support your sister. I question why you think it will be in the £10,000's. How much rent is this place?

If you have such a bad relationship with your sister that you think she will rent a place she cant afford and then refuse to pay rent and end up getting evicted by baliffs knowing that all the cost of this will be born by her eldest sister then obviously don't do it.

I just find it surprising that anyone would base a decision on a member of their families welfare based on advice from an internet forum of people they don't know!

JReacher1

Malthusian wrote: »

Would you be happy to unconditionally gift your sister several thousand pounds (or however much the maximum liability is - rental payment x number of months that the guarantor is liable for)? If the answer is no then don't do it.

Yes of course I would, especially if I can afford it like the OP has said they can. As you say it is the monthly rent X duration of the term. Say about £6-7K. I don't really understand where the tens of thousands of pounds has come from.

If the sister can afford the rent (which the OP says they can) then I don't see what the problem is to guarantee the rent as it doesn't appear that will be needed.