Sister has asked me to be her guarantor

ska_lover

I am afraid that you really should go with your husband as if you sign anything he will too be liable , the money coming from joint finances

I acted as guarantor for a family member and got stung. At the end of the tenancy, the person in question did a flit, oweing several hundred pounds. At least I could pay up and put an end to it, but I realise this could have been v different

I would advise dead against this

Hasbeen

As replies Its a NO blame your husband if she asks as he seems the sensible one:)

VJsmum

Hasbeen wrote: »

As replies Its a NO blame your husband if she asks as he seems the sensible one:)

I won't rise to your insult.

She's my sister, I love her. I asked if there was a way to limit any liability in order to help her and there doesn't seem to be. Thanks for all replies, the helpful and the insulting.

We have discussed it and will help with any increased deposit but will not be guarantors.

Thanks again

Savvy_Sue

VJsmum wrote: »

He bought another house, she spent her share......

I might have considered it until this bit ...

VJsmum wrote: »

She has messaged to say she is sorry she asked and not to feel bad. but I do..:(

I'd take her at her word. I know this sounds harsh, and I know you love her, but consider what you'd say if it were one of your children? would you bail them out regardless?

People make bad choices - I know I've made a few, and I bet you have too. So has your sister: but you are not responsible for HER bad choices, or fixing her, or 'mending' the consequences. Feeling bad achieves nothing ...

FBaby

You sister is showing all the signs of lacking responsibility. Why would it change now?

She has a roof over her head with your dad, so unless in it is only a studio flat he lives in, as long as he doesn't kick her out too, she has a place to stay. Therefore, she is in a position to save everything she can to build a deposit. She will be able to get a place for herself, just not one that will be nice, she needs to accept that.

Ultimately, until she gets her degree and start her job as a nurse, she will have to accept that she is in survival mode, but that should give her the incentive to stick to her studies.

Don't get in the middle of it. For one, you are risking going from feeling sorry for her to feeling very angry with her, and for two, how is she going to learn to become responsible for herself if you are now bailing her out? She is about to become a nurse, she needs to start showing she can look after herself.

bearcat16

My wife's brother (and his wife) asked us to be their guarantor for a new flat they were moving in to. He was famously bad with money, and we did want to help, but after a lot of deliberation we made some excuse and said no. (I was actually more minded to say yes, it was my wife who didn't want to)

Anyway, somehow they persuaded the landlord to accept them without a guarantor and moved in. They made a single rent payment, then had relationship issues (which turned out to be gambling related), which resulted in them not paying any more, and built up arrears of £3.5k before finally doing a "moonlight flit" and seperating.

The landlord chased him up and down the country, taking him to court, hiring investigators etc (which all got added to the debt, as well as interest and penalties). Soon it was £10k.

The only reason the landlord finally stopped chasing was due to my BIL declaring bankruptcy about a year later.

That would have been our liability if we had said yes-narrow escape!

So the lesson? Don't be a guarantor.

Pop_Up_Pirate

I'm on the "Say No" bandwagon.
I wouldn't bother to read over any forms or anything like that.

Just say No, it's not something you are prepared to do.

If she is a student nurse, she could ask for nurse accommodation as a short term solution whilst she saves up herself.

bertiewhite

I wouldn't, even for family - given the hassle my stepdaughter is currently putting me through with a Vodafone mobile contract.

VJsmum

Thanks all.

Pollycat

I would say 'no' too.

My sister asked me & OH to be a guarantor for a mortgage.
We said 'no', they went ahead anyway - no idea how they managed it as his family had said 'no' too - not long after they separated.
We'd have been left paying that mortgage.