Can relationships/marriages work between two religions?

Jlawson118

What's your opinion on this? Have you witnessed it work out?

I was reading up on some stories the other day between muslim girls who got with 'white' guys pretty much and these stories were sad, stating about how most girls pretty much got disowned by their families due to them choosing to marry somebody white. I don't think I'd ever let a girl lose her family just for me no matter how much I was in love with her..

Out of about 10 stories that I read, I think one response said that it was the best thing that ever happened to her..she said they still carried out their own lives and own beliefs but just never forced them upon each other.

And I'm asking because I've met a girl who comes from a muslim family and she's told me her mum has let her see white guys before but her dad never knew a thing. I mean I can tell she is a little bit against rules and things and goes behind her dad's back, I mean she has bright blue hair and she must cover it up by wearing a hijab whenever she is in his presence. Again, her mum knows all about this. I was even talking to her friend the other day and it sounds like she doesn't really tell her dad very much.. :eek:

I'm somebody who is open to all religions and beliefs. though I wouldn't want to solely convert to Islam if it came to that. I barely drink though so stopping that wouldn't be an issue, I'd stop gambling if it came to it, but it's the pork part, I actually eat a lot of this in my diet and it's probably my favourite meat out of them all..even though she's told me sometimes she drinks and eats pork..she told me she does believe in god, but a few days ago she told me she's pretty much Atheist apart from she does believe in God.

We've not got together as such, although people think we are. But I'm really quite cautious of the difference in religion. I fear trying to get her father's approval, or even her mother's for that matter :rotfl: I've pretty much just got out of a relationship a few months ago who had an abusive mother who never approves of anybody that my ex girlfriend was even friends with, let alone who she was in a relationship with! Some of the things that woman said about me and my family (Whom she'd never met) was absolutely disgusting. But that's a different story..

Has anybody seen relationships between different religions work out?

tensandunits_2

Jlawson118 wrote: »

she told me she does believe in god, but a few days ago she told me she's pretty much Atheist apart from she does believe in God.

She's not an atheist if she believes in God. And Muslims don't actually date. (I learned this from a muslim flatmate at university)

FBaby

Just some advice, don't go and tell her, let alone her parents, that your reason why you wouldn't consider converting to Islam is because you like your pork. Quite a bit insulting to the religion itself, there is a bit to it than eating/not eating pork and drinking alcohol!

Jlawson118

FBaby wrote: »

Just some advice, don't go and tell her, let alone her parents, that your reason why you wouldn't consider converting to Islam is because you like your pork. Quite a bit insulting to the religion itself, there is a bit to it than eating/not eating pork and drinking alcohol!

I apologise if it was offensive to anybody, I didn't mean in that way. But I myself wouldn't want to be forced into any religion for any reason. I've been baptised as a Christian even though I don't go to church very often but I still do believe. But I do believe in most religions and I'm open to them. I don't want to be forced to stop pork just to believe in Islam. I wouldn't want to 100% give up drinking or gambling solely for to believe in it either.

I believe in God but I don't solely believe in for example, what a very religious Christian would believe in. I kind of feel I am my own person. And I think that's how she thinks as well.

A lot of Christians would believe in no sex before marriage, whereas I have had sex before marriage, only to one girl who I thought I was going to be with and end up marrying but obviously it didn't come to that

Jlawson118

tensandunits wrote: »

She's not an atheist if she believes in God. And Muslims don't actually date. (I learned this from a muslim flatmate at university)

Yeah when I was writing this i was thinking that it didn't add up how she said she believes in God but then turned around and said she's an Atheist the other day. Although I think she meant she's an Atheist as in not believing solely in a religion and what they demand she does throughout her life. I think she's kind of like me where she believes in God, but also believes she's her own person.

And yeah I also read the same about them not properly dating, although the girl I'm kind of seeing has said before that she's dated before

AnnieO1234

I think you need to have an honest conversation with her. As someone from a conservative Christian church I'm aware of the issues that my church's members have with mixed faith relationships.

I have Muslim friends who form a wide spectrum, from arranged marriages through to gay partnerships (not exactly okay for most of the Islamic world from what I understand). You'll need to discuss with her where she and her family lay in regards to how conservative they may be. She may be liberal, but from what you've said about her father her family may not be. There's obviously the implied risk (however remote) of so called "honour killings" that you will perhaps also need to address.

Would you be willing to convert to Islam if it came to it? I guess you need to ask yourself that internal question. For me the answer would be no, but then I have a strong faith in the church to which I belong. I don't believe anyone should join a religion just for the love of a partner, unless they can genuinely see themselves taking part in the faith.

Good luck!

Robisere

My beliefs do not encompass a deity of any sort: it is always difficult to explain to anyone not brought up under the beliefs of a (true) Romany grandmother and her son, my lovely dad. My mother was a Primitive Methodist and I think my parents had come to their own arrangements by the time I came along as a very junior 3rd son. There were no discussions, let alone arguments, about religion: we were all allowed to make up our own minds and I chose Gran's ways of belief. Basically, we believe that all life on Earth is connected, but that includes the rocks and soil which make up the fabric of the planet. The world, the planet itself, and everything in and upon it, is the real deity and must be respected. These beliefs predate every single "organised" religion that ever existed. Well before the first 'priest' told the first people that he had found a 'god' and he was the only person who could converse with this god, who of course gave him instructions which took the form of giving the 'priest' all that he asked for from the people.

I have two friends in Northern Ireland that my wife and I first met on holiday many years ago. The husband was a Protestant and his wife a Catholic and to be in a marriage like that during the Troubles (or at any time, really) meant standing up to a lot of pressure and religious persecution. They both worked at a Belfast hospital and their closest friends were a Muslim doctor and his wife. The Protestant husband told me a story about phoning his Muslim mate one night: he asked the doctor's son answering the phone, to put his dad on the line. The lad turned to shout to his dad in a perfect Belfast accent, "DA! Yer WANTED!"

For me, that sums up questions of race, colour and creed. Give the kids enough time and space to grow up together from babies and sooner or later you will have a truly multicultural society. Not without problems of course, some severe and deadly to life and limb. But that is what has to happen. With every passing generation, as the kids mingle and as they learn more about each other, the hostility and antagonism of their ancestors will fade.

I have Muslim, Sikh, Hindu, African and Carribean friends as well as white/British. If any of my w/B friends objected to my other friends, they would not be counted amongst my friends.

ljonski

Get her to watch Ninafollowschrist on youtube or read about Nabeel Qureshi and his search for God https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nGCsx2cdCo0 You never know what might happen to you both!

balletshoes

I think it depends on the strength of religious belief of each person in the couple.

There is also a difference between the traditions associated with a religion, and the religion itself.

I'm an agnostic, but was brought up a Christian. I'm married to a fair-weather Muslim. As neither of us has a strong belief in the religion we each were brought up with, our relationship works, and as a family we use some of the traditions from both religions.

I don't think I could be in a relationship with anyone who's religious belief was a very strong and embedded one, as an agnostic I would feel I couldn't support them in what would be one of things which makes them "them".

balletshoes

Jlawson118 wrote: »

I apologise if it was offensive to anybody, I didn't mean in that way. But I myself wouldn't want to be forced into any religion for any reason. I've been baptised as a Christian even though I don't go to church very often but I still do believe. But I do believe in most religions and I'm open to them. I don't want to be forced to stop pork just to believe in Islam. I wouldn't want to 100% give up drinking or gambling solely for to believe in it either.

I believe in God but I don't solely believe in for example, what a very religious Christian would believe in. I kind of feel I am my own person. And I think that's how she thinks as well.

A lot of Christians would believe in no sex before marriage, whereas I have had sex before marriage, only to one girl who I thought I was going to be with and end up marrying but obviously it didn't come to that

I don't think you have a problem with this particular relationship you're in now. Your girlfriend is clearly not a strict follower of her religion, and its her opinion which matters, not her families.

Torry_Quine

This is only something that the individuals themselves can answer and is dependent on how much the faith(s) is important to them.

For me I would never have married a non-Christian and that's the teaching of traditional Christianity. For others though their faith is not as important and so could be incorporated into a marriage with a non-believer or of a different faith.