Divorce - Do we really have to wait 2 years?

Fen1

Do you and your spouse have Wills? What would happen if you died tomorrow? Would your spouse inherit everything? What would happen if you died intestate ( without a Will)?
Ditto Power of Attorney. Do you want your spouse to be responsible for your well-being if you cannot look after yourself?

troubleinparadise

CharlieRabbit01 wrote: »

we've only been married 18 months and officially separated a month ago. we're still living together for the next two months.

I didn't realise that you had to wait 2 years.

So that'll be 4 more months until you can get going on the legal bits.

Are you in a rush to remarry?

I would have thought if you can bear to stay under the same roof for three months after calling time on your marriage, then the additional three months on top of that as a legally contracted couple shouldn't be too unbearable....

Mojisola

troubleinparadise wrote: »

So that'll be 4 more months until you can get going on the legal bits.

Are you in a rush to remarry?

I would have thought if you can bear to stay under the same roof for three months after calling time on your marriage, then the additional three months on top of that as a legally contracted couple shouldn't be too unbearable....

It's not two years since the marriage - the countdown only starts after you've separated.

They've got another 23 months to go before they can divorce.

troubleinparadise

Mojisola wrote: »

It's not two years since the marriage - the countdown only starts after you've separated.

They've got another 23 months to go before they can divorce.

Ah, I misunderstood!

CharlieRabbit01

gingercordial wrote: »

Does either of you have a new partner now, or is either one willing to admit to having had even casual sex once with someone else yet? You said there was no adultery but maybe you were thinking of whilst you were together. If so, the one who does not have a partner could use adultery as the grounds for divorce, because you are still married at the moment, saying that the other has admitted this to you. This does not require naming of the "third party", nor is it a matter of public record.

Alternatively you can come up with some grounds for unreasonable behaviour. A warning though: even if you both agree this is what one of you is going to say about the other, feelings can still get hurt when they see it on paper!

I don't have a new partner and would never consider it before we separated or until after we have moved out.

As far as I am aware he has not met or been with anyone else.

Since I am the one pushing this through, then maybe if I speak to my husband we can come to an agreement on unreasonable behavior but I suspect this may have to be my unreasonable behaviour.

CharlieRabbit01

iammumtoone wrote: »

Any children?

If so think carefully. |An ex found his parents divorce papers once his father passed he had of course never seem them and was really upset about it couldn't ask his mother as she had passed a few years beforehand.

I tried to explain that sometimes people do lie so they can get divorced quicker but this didn't help as he had no way of knowing what was the truth. I don't know either but I do know if they could have waited out the time to go through with a no fault divorce it would have saved their son alot of upset (even if it was the truth was was said).

It stayed with me how upset he was and I vowed if I was ever in that situation with a child involved, whatever the circumstances I would wait the time for 'no fault'. No child should ever have to read things like that about their parents, he loved them both and felt guilty for ages if he should have maybe taken sides.

no children involved, this has also formed part of our separation. I've been adamant for many years that I don't want children, he thought after we married I might soften on the idea. he didnt realise how certain I was on that apparently.

Gloomendoom wrote: »

I think my ex just put down that I spent more time at work than at home.

At least she did after I refused to sign the melodramatic, six volume fairy tale that she concocted the first time around.

this is something i have been accused of, too much time dedicated to my job, studies etc.

CharlieRabbit01

Fen1 wrote: »

Do you and your spouse have Wills? What would happen if you died tomorrow? Would your spouse inherit everything? What would happen if you died intestate ( without a Will)?
Ditto Power of Attorney. Do you want your spouse to be responsible for your well-being if you cannot look after yourself?

no we don't have a will, I have nothing for him to inherit anyway.

Can you explain more about the power of attorney stuff? are you saying if we stay married but separated for the next two years he'd still be responsible?

troubleinparadise wrote: »

So that'll be 4 more months until you can get going on the legal bits.

Are you in a rush to remarry?

I would have thought if you can bear to stay under the same roof for three months after calling time on your marriage, then the additional three months on top of that as a legally contracted couple shouldn't be too unbearable....

in no rush to re-marry, but I just want to draw a line under everything and move on with my life, without having to contact again in two years to get the divorce bit done.

gingercordial

CharlieRabbit01 wrote: »

no children involved, this has also formed part of our separation. I've been adamant for many years that I don't want children, he thought after we married I might soften on the idea. he didnt realise how certain I was on that apparently.

Well maybe there's a ground for him to use, if you are looking to put together an "unreasonable behaviour" list for him to use against you (with your agreement). Something like "partner does not want to have children and refuses to discuss the matter, whereas I want to have children and tried to raise this subject repeatedly..." Please note that I don't think this is unreasonable - I don't want kids either!

None of this is public so the list of "accusations" will be between you, him, your solicitors and the court on the day. You shouldn't lie but any disagreements you've had with each other can certainly be made to sound as serious as necessary. You won't enjoy countersigning a list of your own "flaws" but I completely agree on not wanting to wait two years to have to make contact again to deal with this.