Divorce - Do we really have to wait 2 years?

System

caprikid1 wrote: »

It's a bit of an irony really.


In order to divorce on grounds of unreasonable behaviour you have to be reasonable !!!.


check the criteria, sit down write something out agree it job done.


Its what we did and my EX was reluctant at first but all solicitors advised it and said its the common thing to do.

When i left school my first job was working for a legal secretary. She specialized in divorce cases and one of the cases i had to type stuff for was for a woman who was divorcing her husband on unreasonable behaviour. He wouldnt let her or his daughters wear makeup or trousers.

margaretclare

Judi wrote: »

When i left school my first job was working for a legal secretary. She specialized in divorce cases and one of the cases i had to type stuff for was for a woman who was divorcing her husband on unreasonable behaviour. He wouldnt let her or his daughters wear makeup or trousers.

When you put it like that it sounds fairly minor, but I would guess that it wasn't minor at all - that might have been only the tip of the iceberg. A man with those kinds of views really belongs in an earlier century, among the mid-17th century Puritans maybe! There was probably a lot more to it than that.

Don't forget there is a new offence of 'coercive control'. He - or in some cases she - wants to control every aspect of the spouse's behaviour. What she wears, in detail (i.e. no make-up or trousers, looking unattractive, frumpy (as Helen in 'The Archers' was made to feel). She can't go anywhere, do anything, gradually is alienated from friends and family, has no money of her own, gradually loses all confidence in herself to do anything of her own free will. Not letting her drive is another obvious gambit.

iammumtoone

Any children?

If so think carefully. |An ex found his parents divorce papers once his father passed he had of course never seem them and was really upset about it couldn't ask his mother as she had passed a few years beforehand.

I tried to explain that sometimes people do lie so they can get divorced quicker but this didn't help as he had no way of knowing what was the truth. I don't know either but I do know if they could have waited out the time to go through with a no fault divorce it would have saved their son alot of upset (even if it was the truth was was said).

It stayed with me how upset he was and I vowed if I was ever in that situation with a child involved, whatever the circumstances I would wait the time for 'no fault'. No child should ever have to read things like that about their parents, he loved them both and felt guilty for ages if he should have maybe taken sides.

Gloomendoom

I think my ex just put down that I spent more time at work than at home.

At least she did after I refused to sign the melodramatic, six volume fairy tale that she concocted the first time around.

jackieblack

iammumtoone wrote: »

Any children?

If so think carefully. |An ex found his parents divorce papers once his father passed he had of course never seem them and was really upset about it couldn't ask his mother as she had passed a few years beforehand.

I tried to explain that sometimes people do lie so they can get divorced quicker but this didn't help as he had no way of knowing what was the truth. I don't know either but I do know if they could have waited out the time to go through with a no fault divorce it would have saved their son alot of upset (even if it was the truth was was said).

It stayed with me how upset he was and I vowed if I was ever in that situation with a child involved, whatever the circumstances I would wait the time for 'no fault'. No child should ever have to read things like that about their parents, he loved them both and felt guilty for ages if he should have maybe taken sides.

That's easily avoided as you don't need to keep anything other than the Decree Absolute.
The original forms go to the court so unless you take photcopies there's nothing for a child to find.
I shredded all the photocopies of the various papers and forms I'd kept while it was in process once we got the DA through.

iammumtoone

jackieblack wrote: »

That's easily avoided as you don't need to keep anything other than the Decree Absolute.
I shredded all the photocopies of the various papers and forms I'd kept while it was in process once we got the DA through.

Ah thanks that must have been why he never found anything from his mother house then.

McKneff

judi wrote: »

i never knew that!

do you not watch judge judy..... Lol

System

McKneff wrote: »

do you not watch judge judy..... Lol

Nope. :rotfl:

margaretclare

McKneff wrote: »

do you not watch judge judy..... Lol

Judge Judy is based in the USA. Their laws are different and in fact, they have different laws in different states.

[Deleted User]

I waited for two years as I didn't want to drag up any dirty washing, then the first Mrs. Sleazy refused to agree, so I went down the route of unreasonable behaviour anyway. Some years later met the current Mrs. (not so) Sleazy and been with her absolutely ages ........

Your choice what you do of course, but I waited two years for nothing.