Starting again at 27!

Happier_Me

Hi Jacko_amz

I have just read your thread and wanted to post about your feelings towards your ex. You split up for a reason and it didn't sound like healthy relationship at all. The feelings of loneliness will pass, believe me, so please stay strong and don't go back there. The relationship will be no better second time round.

From the age of 17 to 20 I was in an emotionally abusive relationship with a man in his mid 20's. He stripped me of my confidence, my self esteem, my friends and almost my family. It took alot of guts to finish it and I felt very lonely for months and months afterwards. I considered getting back together with him several times, almost did at one point, but I knew it wasn't right for me long term. I rekindled friendships, went on a few disastrous dates and eventually started to enjoy being carefree and single. Exactly a year after I separated from my ex I met my now husband, who is the complete opposite and an absolute keeper (so I've kept him for 21 years and counting:D).

I don't regret the relationship with my ex at all because it taught me the difference between a healthy and an unhealthy relationship from a very young age. And I didn't make the same mistake again. The last three years will have taught you so much about what you do and don't want in a partner. Use this information wisely and find yourself a keeper when the time is right!

Jacko_amz

Thank you Happier Me that was such a thoughtful post. It will take me a while and i know i will have my good/bad days.

Today has flown by - a super busy day at work so that helped

I have spent £3 today on lunch. i ran out of bread and didn't have any food for lunch in. I had it already in my purse though.

I have the family round tonight for a Chinese so that'll be nice. I have zilch plans for the weekend so not overly looking forward to it.

Took my pooch on the field when i got home, i have had to go back to using the long line as he's being a little !!!!!! and not coming back to me when its time to go home. People really stare though, its just a very long lead nothing to out of the ordinary lol!

Happy friday everyone!

Jacko_amz

Woke up early today even though its my day off - I find because during the week I get up at 06:30 that when it comes to the weekend I just automatically wake up early again.

Cleaned the house this morning, changed the bedding and put a washing load on - its quite blustery outside so may chance putting it on the line, however also looks quite grey so it might be short lived!

Gotta do a food shop today also and i have written a list - hoping to spend around £20-£30 to get me through until payday which is next friday.

Other than that i have no plans for the weekend - everyone is busy! might do some baking.

I signed up to a dating site last night, however i have hidden my profile. I have done this for various reasons:
1. because of my job the students i work with can be in their 19's/20's and i would hate for them to come across me on a dating site.
2. I don't feel quite ready yet to have it open for men to contact me (not that i think any will lol), so by having it hidden i can message ones i like the look of without the pressure of everyone seeing me etc.
3. There is people on their who know my ex and seem to tell them every detail about what i am doing - even the dull stuff like what i am selling on a FB page. I don't need the hassle and abuse from him - even though he has already shacked up with someone he has double standards like that.

One thing i have found on these sites is i am extremely picky and i think i may be only going for guys who are way to attractive for me if that makes sense.

I have low self-esteem when it comes to my looks, i have an ugly bump on my nose and not the straightest of teeth. My nose looks normal from the front but from the side its hideous. I have thought about having a nose job but there so expensive!

This has been a long post sorry!!

Have a nice weekend everyone xx

Bobarella

Well that sounds positive to be looking at dating again. Good idea to keep your personal life separate from your students, in an internet and finding stuff out about you way.

XRAT

Hi Jacko_amz,
Oh to be 27 again! You're just into your prime believe me. I've recently retired (early) from a profession notorious for marrying nurses, with a professional of knowledge of domestic violence and with a daughter almost your age.
I would like to say,
1. Never go back, it's seldom a good place or you wouldn't have left.
2. Being alone is definitely better than a bad relationship.
3. You are in a target rich environment plenty of victims (potential boyfriends) pass through the health service for one reason or another.
4. Decent guys will pass you by if you are already in a relationship.
5. You have certain qualities that others find attractive..,
you're young, caring (by profession) and careful with money! What's not to like!!
Dad advice; Take your time choose a partner carefully. There is plenty of choice, but lots of rejects to avoid, get the RIGHT one and be happy for ever after, or be content browsing. NEVER settle, you already know what that's like, and you may be putting off your perfect partner. (My advice to my daughter, "I'll only walk you down the aisle if he will take better care of you than I can.")
Best Wishes.

kittykatneedscash

Hi Jack-amz just started reading your diary I'll read through it all soon. I'm 34 and single for really the first time in my life, I seem to have gone from serious relationship to serious relationship in the past. My ex was quite controlling and emotionally abusive but in a very clever way. Anyway I kicked him out of my house in Nov as it was seriously effecting my mental health at first I hated it but slowly I am actually starting to love it, don't mind living on my own now and starting to build a new life for 'me'.

I have recently discovered a website and app called 'Meetup' where I have made lots of new friends have a look I think it's great and really opened up new doors for me. I've been going out socialising quite a lot now I'm single which isn't great money saving but I feel it's allowed and I need to enjoy life at the same time.

In regards to your clock is ticking I used to feel this way and suppose I still do to some extend but I'm very much of the opinion now of what will be will be and not to worry. My younger sister lives next door and is happily married with 3 kids I feel a failure in comparison but everyone's path isn't the same some of us have a few more hurdles to jump over in life than others but that's what makes us 'us'. Take time to be a little selfish and do things for yourself. I'm not actively looking for a new relationship yet but suppose I'm open to the idea a few months ago even the thought of it scared the hell out of me but sometimes the best things in life turn up when you're least expecting it. Going to carry on reading your diary now just wanted to say hi :j

Jacko_amz

Thanks guys that's so lovely.

I haven't updated for a while, mainly because I was waiting for payday and i haven't been up to much.

Payday was yesterday (yay!) and there was an extra £60 in this month! think it's because of the 1% payrise, can't grumble though.

I have decided to put an extra 50 on to CC payments so making it 250pm off instead of 200, will just make it a bit quicker. Dad still has the CC and i haven't needed it at all.

My BT £100 rewards card has arrived just waiting for the pin to come through now

Got my petrol and food money out for the month, dropped my petrol down to £80 from £100 as wasn't using that much. Food shop came to £32 and will last the week.

Went out today for mothers day high tea and paid for my mum so that was £20. I had already bought her present out of the birthday/christmas fund last month so that was already taken care of.

No plans for tonight/tomorrow so the rest of the weekend will be spend free!

I have just upgraded my phone to the iphone 7, i know that's not very MSE but i haven't had a new phone for over 3 years, that's going to be £35 a month - but i can afford this, and i do keep them for a long time. a little treat to myself

Happy weekend everyone!

Jacko_amz

I forgot to add, i joined Match.com the other day and instantly regretted it and deleted the account, now i am trying to get my money back but its proven bit difficult.

I am not over my ex and just can't face talking to anyone just yet, got a bit to carried away!

Jacko_amz

Well today has been a NSD so i am happy about that!

This clocks going forward an hour has completely thrown me, got up later this morning so couldn't walk the pooch. I walked him when got home but i usually do it before work too.

I am so exhausted with work at the moment, I have some annual leave coming up in may which can't come soon enough, i work in education but i work all year round - so i don't get school holidays off and because I work in mental health its just so exhausting! the weekends just aren't enough lol.

Hope everyone has monday has been good! I am going to bed early tonight to catch up on some sleep , I say that then end up sat on the laptop til 10 lol!

angelpye

Hi JA, work sounds tough but glad you have leave to look forward to. When the children are off does that mean your services are not required and you get to catch up on admin etc?
Money stuff all looking positive! Yay to an extra £50 on the CC!