Possible distance complications

catoutthebag

pollypenny wrote: »

Early days and no distance. If it lasts, go for the middle if you do move.

Middle of nowhere where neither would know Anyone?

catoutthebag

Pollycat wrote: »

From reading your other threads, I think you tend to overthink things and quite possibly expect too much too soon from relationships.

I'd enjoy what you have right now instead of trying to look too far into the future.

I concur, but it's good to have some vague plans

catoutthebag

skattykatty wrote: »

I suppose these things are as complicated as you both choose to make them. You've only been together a month and actually don't live that far away from each other. You both need to live your own, individual lives, as well as nurture your relationship. Overthinking the 'what ifs' at this stage is not going to support you to keep getting to know each other. Enjoy yourselves, isn't that what these early stages are all about?

I agree, guess I need to enjoy the now

catoutthebag

emmatthews wrote: »

What you would and wouldn't do in a relationship changes as the relationship develops and deepens.

At the moment you want to live where you are, after a year or so your desire to be with them may outweigh your desire to stay put (same may apply to the person you are seeing). Or you could agree a compromise.

Relax and enjoy what you've got for now. The early days are not about longer term potential problems!

True points I guess

Pollycat

catoutthebag wrote: »

I concur, but it's good to have some vague plans

See, you're still over-thinking.
Why do you need to have 'vague plans' about one or the other of you possibly having to move when the relationship is still in such an early stage?

catoutthebag wrote: »

We both strongly feel we've found the right person, I've never felt so close to someone after a month let alone a long relationship.

I'm reminded very strongly of the advert (no idea what it's for) about 2 people who meet on a blind date and go through the 'I love you, let's have kids, it's me - not you, see you in the divorce court' in the space of 30 seconds.

catoutthebag wrote: »

I want to try enjoy each moment, but feel a small seed of uncertainty planted

From one of your other threads titled:
" Insecurity, paranoia, jealousy"

catoutthebag wrote: »

Hi
I normally get into these feelings, when I start a new relationship, and though they cause issues initially, and arguments, they subside and I get my head around it, though sometimes raise their head again.

I don't feel I've dealt with them, and there's a girl I like, and I don't want it to make an appearance.

I know it's childish, immature etc and probably stems from childhood like most things.

Silly stuff: more partners/experience, travelled more, done more, more friends etc

Comparing myself is bad because you end up comparing to lose, negating the fact that you'll have been places, done stuff they haven't etc

I know things like past relationships: I'm not going to ask, at all. It ends up as a virus that corrodes my mind/confidence. I don't know about you guys on this point.

The other points I'll probably try change into a positive perspective and happiness if they've done more, travelled more, etc

Am I just being weird

I think you may be in danger of spoiling any chance of this relationship going somewhere by the feelings you've already identified.

trailingspouse

Love conquers all.

But you have to give it a chance. If you had a flower that was just beginning to grow you wouldn't keep pulling it up to see how the roots were getting along. You would just let it grow, and put in all the watering and feeding and sunshine that you could to give it the best possible chance. So stop analysing the roots, and concentrate on letting it grow.

SamsReturn

Can i ask, how old are you ?

PasturesNew

Decide after you've done two Christmasses with them.

Before that's too soon.

Lunar_Eclipse

I think you're years away from this becoming a serious topic of conversation.

It's brilliant that you've found someone special (on your doorstep - 45 minutes is nothing! 50 miles isn't a problem either.)

Relax and enjoy. Who knows where life will take any of us in the coming years.

Lunar_Eclipse

I was tempted to write 'relax, one of you could be hit by a bus and die tomorrow' but didn't. But I think a healthy dose of reality would be helpful here. It's very, very, very early days.

Stop worrying about what could happen, because I think life generally doesn't work like that. My experience tells me one of you is more likely to get offered a job overseas, or you both decide you'd actually like to live in Devon, or the relationship naturally fizzles out, or one of you returns to university, or one of you gets seriously ill, one of you meets someone else, or something else.

None of us know what's around the corner. And worrying about what might happen is the biggest waste of time there is.

And you also don't want to potentially scare this person off!