Possible distance complications

annandale

Do people think in a million years that the Op is going to step back and relax and just see how it goes?

Come on. Look at the posting history to date.

Sorry. In one breath this girl is the best thing since sliced bread and in the next they can't meet in the middle as no one would know one another. Never mind people driving or public transport. 50 miles is the end of the world as we know it.

And they've been going out a month.

Will make no difference what people on here say

I think before you get into any relationship op you should get some counselling because if you weren't suffering from some kind of anxiety none of this would be an issue

arbrighton

catoutthebag wrote: »

I don't think you understood my post. Please re read it.

I'm talking if they moved to their place of work, it would double and though not far, it's not sustainable unless someone moved

BULL

OH and I were 4 hours apart when we got together. Spoke every day, saw each other when we could. Friends first and it developed so intense fairly quickly

Then, during my teacher training, 100 miles away (and no time) during the week. So weekends together (with the joy of the M11/M25)

I then moved when we had been together getting on for 3.5 years, into his house.


We've been together 12 years this year, married almost 2, first baby on the way.

You overthink and analyse everything. Way too much pressure on this 'relationship'

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

Come back in two years and ask again. Don't worry about moving/not moving before then.


If she's the Right One, you'll both be prepared to move to make things better for the both of you.

I wouldn't even move from a crappy flat to make things easier for any of my exes. Wouldn't even consider having them as joint tenants, sharing finances, anything. I'm not living in that crappy flat anymore, but that's because I chose to move somewhere better. By myself.


But I'm prepared to move hundreds of miles for my fiance. Not because he demands it, he'd stay here forever if it was where I wanted to stay (he had a chance to move somewhere he really liked, but didn't), but because I know he would be happiest in his home area and if he's happier, I'm happier.

We took a good couple of years before he was here more often than not, and another year before he moved in properly, purely because it was right at that time and not before. If he'd been going on about moving in together within 28 days of meeting, I'd have run in the opposite direction as fast as I could, as that's not a secure relationship, that's needy and clingy at best and potentially a disaster waiting to happen a few months further down the line.

As it was, he lived ridiculously close by, but we didn't see each any more frequently than you are doing for months. Because it's generally healthier to take things slowly and let them grow, rather than try to force them.

krlyr

arbrighton wrote: »

BULL

OH and I were 4 hours apart when we got together. Spoke every day, saw each other when we could. Friends first and it developed so intense fairly quickly

Then, during my teacher training, 100 miles away (and no time) during the week. So weekends together (with the joy of the M11/M25)

I then moved when we had been together getting on for 3.5 years, into his house.


We've been together 12 years this year, married almost 2, first baby on the way.

You overthink and analyse everything. Way too much pressure on this 'relationship'

This this was OP's point - in the long run, the goal would be to live together but if both are located in seperate towns, one of them is going to have to move towns to make that possible.


Can see OP's appoint but agree that it's running before you can walk. Lots of things that could happen before moving is even on the cards.

arbrighton

krlyr wrote: »

This this was OP's point - in the long run, the goal would be to live together but if both are located in seperate towns, one of them is going to have to move towns to make that possible.


Can see OP's appoint but agree that it's running before you can walk. Lots of things that could happen before moving is even on the cards.

yes but that wasn't discussed for years... that's my point....