£67,031.92 is a frightening number indeed....

Busy_Mee1

Hi TOPM, I am glad that you are feeling so much more positive today. This lifestyle can be a bit of a slog at times and full of ups and downs.

I have been thinking about how yesterday you said that you were happier when you were spending money and getting into debt and wonder if that is really true. Your opening paragraph of your diary describes your debt as SCARY......scary enough for you to start a diary and take control of your finances. I am not sure that is a happy place.

You have done brilliantly well and Just imagine where you would be now if you hadn't taken control of your debt. You would probably be £80k+ in debt, your minimum payments would be higher and your access to cheap borrowing would be diminishing, so no 0% deals or decent mortgage deals.
You would be heading towards a DMP, a trashed credit record and even poorer future, with no extension and where you might have to confess to your situation to your parents.

So don't look back to that time as a happy time, it wasn't real and was a recipe for disaster. Celebrate that you have this under control now and as a result you have a much more secure future.

Enjoy today, money is tight ( but probably no tighter than most people with a young family) but you have a lovely life with your lovely family and you are doing really well.

Karonher

enthusiasticsaver wrote: »

OK. I might be a real scrooge here but since when was getting teachers gifts at the end of each school year mandatory? How much ridiculous pressure do people put on themselves to do this? How about a simple thank you from the children or a nice home made card? This was never done 20 years ago when my kids were in primary school I am sure.

As a teaching assistant one of the nicest presents I got was a small home made Christmas cake. It was about 6 inches high and was a snowman, beautifully decorated and in cellophane.

Some parents do seem pressured into doing it yet I don't know of one child who has been looked down on or thought of differently - by staff or other pupils - if their parents don't do it.

Treadingonplaymobil

Week 69: Day 6

Morning! I have clients this morning so only a quick stop by for me.

Busymee1 you're absolutely right, and it bears thinking about. Yes, I was happier day to day, but that was interspersed with, every couple of months, a totally hysterical evening or two of weeping and staying up till the small hours with DH, working out how to refinance to 'pay off the debt' (ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha consolidation never works, at least not without a major mindset shift to go with it). So it was more of a manic situation - lots of lovely highs from buying wonderful things and having a beautiful home, interspersed with cavernous lows of stress and anxiety about the debt. Oh god, I had forgotten about the bi-monthly hysterics sessions. OK, it wasn't all roses when we were overspending. :rotfl:

The funny thing is that without the debt, we wouldn't ever have bought our lovely little house. Have I mentioned this? We only ended up buying because we wanted to make a dramatic shift in outgoings to enable us to repay our debt (I'd say the decision to do this is the closest I've come to a LBM yet - it was accepting a total sea change in our lifestyle and aspirations), and had decided to move and rent a cheap two bed property for a year or two (we were renting a huge four bedroom place at £1,200pm at the time) to further reduce rent/council tax/utilities etc and allow us to make a major shift in finances without yet another consolidation.

It became apparent that if we could scrape together (ie borrow) £15k or so - knowing there was £20k available to borrow from family to add to it - we could actually buy one of those two bedroom houses, pay less money than the rent on such a place and actually have an asset. It felt like such a massive step, a huge change in lifestyle and expectations of where life would take us, but finally a way to buy, having thought we were a decade or more away because we were only considering big 4 bed places. I can honestly say it's one of the best decisions we've ever made. I love our house so much, even though it's a 1950s ex council terraced dormer bungalow and definitely not most people's cup of tea. It is so sturdy and homely and the garden is big (for town) and it has such nice clean practical lines that it's almost beautiful in its sheer functionality. Lends itself nicely to a slightly retro feeling interior.

Gosh, did I say I was going to be quick this morning? When has that ever happened?

DH only remembered to tell me last night that he's got confirmation on his overtime, so is working all day tomorrow, next Saturday and a Saturday in July for starters, with possibly the odd extra evening too if he feels it's worth it. It won't be millions, but will be a couple of hundred quid extra for this month, with another hundred in July. Not to be sniffed at! Means I need to think of some free things to do with the DCs. Thank goodness for zoo membership! Will just have a quiet day at home tomorrow though. Going to send DH for some compost this afternoon and will get the DC to sow the salad seeds and other random seeds we have accumulated.

Daily food shopping going quite smoothly so far. Still plenty of food kicking around the cupboards and £76 in the budget to last for the next six days. Continuing with the top up shops and trying to use up the cupboard contents before doing another big shop.

I cleaned the hallway/unofficial dumping ground yesterday. Once again improved my mood. I started reading Getting Things Done yesterday (a time management book, not necessarily about doing more, but about choosing the most appropriate thing to do and 'letting go' of everything else mentally while doing it, so you don't feel pulled in 75 directions at once) and he talks about 'open loops'. I haven't read very far yet, but these open loops seem to be unfinished things that drag your attention away and add stress because you can't concentrate on anything else while they are undone. Having a clean house is definitely in that category for me. Not sure whether GTD will suggest that I 'let go' of having a clean house or prioritise cleaning it before I start work, but it's quite interesting, once you plough through the business coach waffle.

To do yesterday
1. Another top up food shop - I'm working through the cupboards and freezer so topping up on a daily basis at the moment, just a few quid at a time. Going to carry on until the cupboards are significantly more bare. It's quite good for showing me where we spend the most money in our food shop, as some days it's £2, some days it's £10.
2. Bake biscuits for clients tomorrow. Don't let DH bake all the freezer cookie mix this time.
3. Clean the hallway and porch. Our hallways is relatively big compared to the size of our house and can become a total dumping ground.
4. Spend an hour tidying up the back garden.
5. Clear work emails (am not officially working today, but have a couple which will be good to get off my mind).
6. Tidy and clean for clients tomorrow - fortunately not a lot to do after my cleaning-fest this week.
7. Chase council some more re wildlife survey.
8. DH - phone Sainsbury's to reduce DD.
9. DH - phone Virgin to enquire about transferring some balance to the 0% (we are paying interest on a small portion of the barclaycard as of this month, only around £30, but £30 interest I'd rather not be paying!). I think there is some more we could add to the Virgin card at 0%, depending on transfer fee. At least Barclaycard are taking payments made from the interest bearing part of the balance rather than the 0% bit.
10. DH - mow lawn (front and back).

Ran out of enthusiasm and time to ask DH to do any of his jobs and left him to do dinner while I got stuff ready nice and early for clients - I always seem to end up cleaning and prepping at 9pm, so it was nice to finish at 5pm instead. Will ask him to do the lawn today and phone calls next week.

To do today
1. Write a list for DH as I have all these things in my head to ask him to do, and he isn't really aware of any of them! NB add prepping trailer and opening roof hatch (for architect to peek in on Monday) to yesterday's stuff.
2. Tidy away properly once clients go to regain my lovely clean space.
3. Plan dinner and food for tomorrow from cupboards and buy anything needed.
4. Clean dining room.

Mini goals:
- £8.33/30 June rounding down pot.
- £2,780.95/£5,000 2018 debt repayment goal.
- £26.04 daily earning goal. Back over the £26 mark! Need to factor in selling time for bike trailer and expensive baby slings.

warby68

Morning ToPM

So glad you're 'up and at'em' again

Suffolk_lass

Morning TOPM. I am back from days of 14 -18 hours of work this week so just catching up. I am so sorry you have had a moment this week. My suggestions are:

* Use the MSE Credit Checker to see if you are likely to be accepted for a 0% fee 0% credit card transfer - just as a standby measure - and at least if you use your card at Christmas, you could pursue that course to remove the additional spending that is interest (and you could do this if your Virgin people say no as per your last post).

* Prepare for Christmas - you are hopefully telling people you are hoping to build an extension and remodel your house. Introduce the suggestion that you will only buy (inexpensive but thoughtful) gifts for children this Christmas as you need to maximise the savings towards this project (and relate it to the time criticality of growing children, need for private space and your remodelling aspirations), and ask them to do this reciprocally.

I know, and I mean know, that you will receive a positive response from friends and family. As I approach retirement I have felt emboldened to ask some colleagues (in 1-2-1 travel journeys, or over a coffee) about their own retirement/financial planning as I approach my own catalyst for change - I phrase it as though I am seeking advice or to understand if I am missing some good options.

90% have done none and suddenly open up about their debt, with a sense of relief. I offer them my experience over here, over the last nine years. For me, it started with shopping bills and has developed. I am still not debt free but within two months I hope we will be in a positive position without raiding DH's pension. It has taken years and there never was a light bulb for me - more a dimmer switch :rotfl:

* look at your savings pots and make sure they are working for you. Lots of people on here shuffle their savings pots between several current accounts that pay 5% interest (usually only if you pay in x amount of money monthly and only up to y limit) - you could set up standing orders to do this on pay-day for your DH and make your money work harder for you, while still keeping it in "cash". stick the figures in a spreadsheet and see what difference it would make. You could skim off that interest or use it to increase your debt repayments, or to redress the little blips we all experience. Busy Mee1 is one of these - I am sure she would help if you want some advice.

Keep going kiddo, you are doing so well x

Treadingonplaymobil

Week 69: Day 7

Treating today a bit like a weekday as DH is off to do the first of his overtime days at work, so an early start for me to get yoga in before he goes. Planning a quiet day with the DCs, will sow some of the salad and other random seeds we have accumulated, clean the dining room properly (there is always much excitement from the DC at testing the pens and sharpening the pencils from the shelves of art supplies while I tidy everything else). Have a looonng domestic list to get through if the DCs allow, but we'll see how it goes.

Suffolklass I love the dimmer switch analogy :rotfl: . As long as the progress is always in the right direction, I guess it doesn't matter how dim the light is! Thanks for the other ideas.

To do yesterday
1. Write a list for DH as I have all these things in my head to ask him to do, and he isn't really aware of any of them! NB add prepping trailer and opening roof hatch (for architect to peek in on Monday) to yesterday's stuff. Done, and he's done most of it already, rather pleasingly.
2. Tidy away properly once clients go to regain my lovely clean space.
3. Plan dinner and food for tomorrow from cupboards and buy anything needed.
4. Clean dining room.

To do today
1. Pack order for smaller business (spending time on it last week has already paid off!).
2. Sow veg seeds (this may require some sorting out of the garden to find the pots).
3. Clean dining room.
4. Make quiche for packed lunches next week.
5. Tidy out utility room.
6. Make soup with contents of the bottom of the fridge.
7. Bake some oatcakes for snacks.

Mini goals:
- £9.36/30 June rounding down pot.
- £2,780.95/£5,000 2018 debt repayment goal.
- £26.17 daily earning goal.

Suffolk_lass

Don't forget you can use empty egg boxes as seed-sowing pots! after a couple of weeks post-germination you can cut or pull them apart and just plant in their destination location, and the children can watch them sprout on the window-sill, adding to their commitment. In fact, I started french radishes this way and just kept scissoring the leaves instead of letting them develop into radishes and I recall they were lovely in salads as slightly bigger than micro salads

Treadingonplaymobil

Week 70: Day 1

Good morning friends! You know I love a Monday. So much promise for things to be achieved. And today is particularly promising as I also started a new bullet journal today. I find mine last about three months, but I'm going to try to scribble less in this one so it lasts a little longer. I'm also trying a few new ideas to improve productivity and lower stress around getting All The Things done. And it's a lovely navy blue, which after a year of brightly coloured journals is rather restful and makes me feel terribly organised and grown up.

The DCs were absolutely angelic yesterday while DH was at work, and I was able to spend the entire day getting stuff done, which is absolutely unheard of. DH was laughing at me when he came home and I was all "oh, I made quiche for packed lunches, and flapjacks, and tidied and decluttered the dining room. And I cleared all the laundry and ironing. And did I mention the custard tarts I rustled up for snack time, and the batch cooking? And the veggie balls I made for dinner, with homemade sorbet for dessert?" There were no major dramas, the older DC looked out for the youngest, they even played board games together. I'm no idea what's happened to my actual children, but I'm very happy with these stepford ones they've been replaced with.

The sorbet, incidentally, was two tins of mango puree with homemade sugar syrup poured on top, in the ice cream maker for 10 mins. The puree is 23p per 100g (and, crucially, was already in the cupboard), while 'proper' sorbet is 50p per 100g (and would have involved actually leaving the house), a few pence in energy to run the ice cream maker for 10 mins and I had 1kg of (moderately) healthy two ingredient sorbet!

The upshot of all this domesticity is that, for once, I am starting the week on the front foot, instead of wanting to spend half the week sorting the house out. My mission is to (a) try to keep on top of the rooms that have been thoroughly spring cleaned, and (b) sort out another room or two this week - upstairs is still a bit of a bombsite. And the only spend over the weekend was £10 out in cash on Saturday to cover Saturday sweets and £7 that we owed DC2 (I'd had to borrow it for parking weeks and weeks ago as he was the only person in the house with change!), so our depleted family kitty (only £15 per week left after camping) wasn't decimated either. So I am generally winning at life this week. :rotfl:

I have to confess that the one thing I didn't do was sow any seeds, but my mum is coming down today and will be thrilled to have an excuse to be in the garden instead of tidying my house for me , so she'll do that if I smile winningly at her.

I do need to spend some of today doing domestic things, but hoping to move quickly and get work done too. I have the car in order to do a tip run, zero waste shop stock up, bit of food shopping (still working through cupboards and freezer, but need veg/milk etc), buy floor paint (we ripped out the manky old carpets downstairs when we moved in and our floor is painted concrete while we wait for new flooring when we get the extension, it chips a bit every few months and needs filling in, and our last tin has run out).

We have the architect coming this evening to check something in the roof space, then we are hoping for final elevations and plans in the next fortnight and we can APPLY FOR PLANNING PERMISSION. Well, once I have established whether we need a bat and bird survey (our council is ambiguous in the extreme about this, as their criteria is stricter than the general criteria because of particular breeds around here. I've probably moaned about this before).

In less uplifting news, I have just realised it's my sister's wedding in a month and I haven't lost weight, and need to sort what everyone is going to wear. That's going on the list for this week.

To do yesterday
1. Pack order for smaller business (spending time on it last week has already paid off!).
2. Sow veg seeds (this may require some sorting out of the garden to find the pots).
3. Clean dining room.
4. Make quiche for packed lunches next week.
5. Tidy out utility room.
6. Make soup with contents of the bottom of the fridge.
7. Bake some oatcakes for snacks. Whoops. A job for this morning! DC3 needs them for preschool.

To do today
1. Bake those oatcakes!
2. RSVP to school re new starters information session/settling in sessions. So close to little DC3 starting school! The end of an era of preschoolers.
3. Make sourdough.
4. Order toilet roll (15 weeks on the previous order and still four rolls left. I'm tempted to do the maths again as it's lasted longer again than expected).
5. Social media post for work.
6. Clear some space for the architect to get to where he needs to this evening.

Mini goals:
- £9.36/30 June rounding down pot.
- £2,782.37/£5,000 2018 debt repayment goal.
- £26.29 daily earning goal.

PositiveBalance

Oh dear, ToPM - this all sounds Far Too Organised!


Please instigate a bit of chaos in your house so I can feel slightly more at ease about the state of mine! :rotfl:


Although I'm only half-kidding, well done on getting so much stuff sorted out. It really makes a difference, doesn't it?


Keep on keeping on!

Treadingonplaymobil

Week 70: Day 2

Off to work for the people I do my contract work for today, so I have my mum down for childcare, and DH is going to be here this morning because the DC have the dentist, so it's going to be a busy morning here while we all try to get ourselves organised and out of the door.

Had a spendy food shop yesterday. Even though the cupboards are full, it was one of those 'stock up on cleaners and a big bag of rice' type shops. I definitely need to divide my budget more between bulk/household purchases and actual food. My food budget is generally not too hideous (OK, it's fairly hideous, but not unmanageably so), but I'm not saving anything like enough for those less regular purchases, and they seem to come in waves, for which I am invariably unprepared. I think the only realistic way to do manage is to up my own income, and therefore the food/household supplies pot by £30 per month, as there just isn't £30 spare anywhere else. That isn't terribly challenging (I am over-earning every month without fail), although it's another £30 a month that isn't going into the various savings divisions. But if it's just being robbed back out of the savings pots it's hardly going in there anyway.

The budget is hanging on by a thread at the moment much more than it was in the early part of the year. An accumulation of factors, not least of which is my complete loss of interest in being strict with the food shop. At least this overtime DH is doing will give us a bit of a cash injection, and I am continuing to earn something still, which is more than I was by mid-June last year. I've noticed some people posting lists of their savings pots with totals and plus or minus from the previous day/week/month and I'm thinking that might be a good idea for me - it would give me a bit more accountability before robbing them blind.

I'm finding it a challenge, although not impossible, to prioritise my time between things that will earn money sooner, but don't have longevity (my main income through clients at the moment - I am fairly sure this isn't an infinite money tree) and building my own independent business which will make money in the longer term but is making nothing right now (my website and the downloads I hope to sell through it). I'm managing it more now that my summer slowdown has begun, and I'm hoping to have my social media count a lot higher and my website a lot busier by the end of the summer. I need to review my business plan to make sure I'm on track with everything I want to do.

It's frustrating seeing my daily earnings goal inching its way back up again, but that's par for the course at this time of year I suppose. Must get the bike trailer listed on the weekend, which will be another good chunk of cash when it sells. But in more positive debt news, I am only £7.25 from getting the Barclaycard down to £10,500, so that should happen with a few more days rounding down.

To do yesterday
1. Bake those oatcakes! Did that. They were particularly good ones, using this recipe and substituting the flour for a mixture of sorghum and tapioca flours (because that's what I had) to make them gluten free.
2. RSVP to school re new starters information session/settling in sessions. So close to little DC3 starting school! The end of an era of preschoolers.
3. Make sourdough.
4. Order toilet roll (15 weeks on the previous order and still four rolls left. I'm tempted to do the maths again as it's lasted longer again than expected).
5. Social media post for work.
6. Clear some space for the architect to get to where he needs to this evening.

To do today
1. Social media post for work.
2. Clear emails.
3. Prep for clients at home tomorrow.
4. Make soup for clients.
5. Bake biscuits for clients.
6. Bake the sourdough that's been proving overnight.
7. Check in with DH regarding his list for this week.

Mini goals:
- £11.50/30 June rounding down pot.
- £2,782.37/£5,000 2018 debt repayment goal.
- £26.42 daily earning goal.