£67,031.92 is a frightening number indeed....

XSpender

Could you squeeze a bit from the entertainment budget? It's easier to do free things with the children when the weather is nicer. Walks, picnics, beach, swimming at the local pool. NT sites often do free activities as well as the local library.

I agree with what everyone has said about informing the family you won't be buying Christmas gifts this year. You never know, they might be relieved.

My Mum asked if we could all stop exchanging gifts about 3 years ago for both birthdays and Christmas. It wasn't the cost for her but the stress of trying to buy 3 grown up children and their partners gifts in a small town. My siblings were relived not to do it either. None of them are short of money. Her other grandkids are grown up but she still buys for our DS and he gives her favourite chocolates. I haven't exchanged gifts with my siblings for years but we do try to see each other at Christmas.

Frugalwoods does a frugal month in January (and in the summer I think) if you search for it on her site. She also has a face book page linked to it you could look back through.

I can't help on the clothes. I don't buy often but will buy a few good pieces 2 or 3 times through the year (last time was November) so am no good at bargain hunting.

Treadingonplaymobil

Yay, more genius MSEers weighing in .

ToTheBatcave it's the time thing that's the problem, our local charity shops are dire (bar one) and I just don't have the time to hunt further afield. Ebay is a slightly more realistic prospect, especially for my favoured jeans brand and things like that.

ramblehan thanks for the generator!

BusyMee1 the architect hasn't quoted for project management (it's on the quote under 'extras' or similar working, and the price is 'not included') and I'm 90% sure he's clear he's not required for it, but I will confirm that in writing next time I speak with him, as it would be an awkward misunderstanding. I am hoping for a main contractor as you say, but could probably manage different trades if I absolutely had to. I'm a mean project manager/control freak, but one with zero expertise in construction. Managing and comparing the billions of different quotes alarms me more than managing the build, if we don't got for a main contractor.

Xspender I'll check out Frugalwoods. And yes, definitely easier to do more free in summer, plus we now have national trust and membership for two local zoo type places, so we have plenty of free things on the doorstep. It's the cafe weakness that still does for the entertainment budget, but even that is better in summer as it's easier to eat a picnic outside without needing to buy a cup of tea to 'rent' a cafe table!

remote_control

Have you put up your hourly rate recently?

Silver_Queen

For something free to do, I saw this on HUKD recently: https://www.hotukdeals.com/deals/free-one-year-family-membership-to-butterfly-conservation-2927875

A free one year membership to butterfly conservation sites, could be a nice day out with the DC?

Busy_Mee1

I would definitely go for a main contractor, trying to co-ordinate the sub-contractors will be a stressful nightmare. I am a programme manager as my day job and I wouldn't attempt this....mainly because you don't have the right contacts. A main contractor will have a lot of trades that he normally works with and will co-ordinate them for you.

He will price for the full job, but just be aware that they usually price for basic fixtures and fittings.....and I can guarantee you won't like basic, so may need to budget for more expensive doors etc.

We asked our builder both times not to quote for kitchens and bathrooms and we shopped around ( got bargain ex display bathrooms etc) to get the more high end fittings that we wanted.

You will still have lots of decisions to make and lots of hard work. We totally underestimated how many small decisions had to be made ( boring but essential things like sockets and window openers) and the amount of graft required is incredible. You will have all the packing up to do, the daily cleaning of plaster dust ( it gets everywhere), constantly sweeping up, decorating, and sorting out the trashed garden....just be prepared !

The rewards are great though .. you get the house that you want, designed for the way you live and to your style. Just be really careful with your spending though, it is too easy to lose perspective and control when spending large amounts and it all has to be paid for !!

Suffolk_lass

When we built our last extension, I sat down with the builder and mapped out the stages by which he anticipated he would need certain things. I researched sourced and bought the bargainous fixtures, fittings and left him to source things like guttering and waste pipes, sand and cement. I also bought the bricks, blocks, timber and insulation as we went along so that this "service" was not subject to VAT but I did go with him several times to take advantage of his discount at the builders' merchants (I used to go window-shopping at these, on-line and in person).

I reckon my best buy was a complete bathroom, bought in an online clearance sale, where I then sold on the bath, without taps, with the two decor panels, for £80 less than the rest of the suite - so I got the washbasin, two sets of taps, the toilet, waste, seat and plugs for £80. You are so resourceful, I am sure you will be able to do similar things. Another thing I did was source the solid granite worktop (I use it for bread and pastry, and it still looks like new after nearly 15 years) from a really good source, direct. We have used them twice but a quick look just now suggests they may have changed their business model so I am reluctant to recommend them. We economised on cabinets and bought 40ml thick granite instead of 25ml and it still just looks so classy. - It is those compromise choices that will help you. Buy the ex-display cabinets but choose bespoke tops. Maybe if this includes appliances, sell these on to fund ex-display premium appliances. And so on.

DH will have to bite the bullet and list things though - you will just have to use your website skills to make them sound fantastic in the listings so that people really want them and find themselves emotionally connecting with the sale to push the price up. If you spend 20 minutes a week researching now, you will have the market insight by the time you are ready.

Do you have somewhere you can store your purchases if you start to spread the cost? - thinking it might be good to look at kitchen options in sales next January, albeit ahead of the build (a siblings' garage perhaps?) - another one to explore.

And finally (for now!) - you could ask your present-loving family to buy you items towards the house build once you have had the present conversation (I do not mean washing-up bowls; thinking a sink waste or door knobs (one, even) once you have chosen).

Busy_Mee1

Suffolk Lass are you my long lost sister :rotfl:

Suffolk_lass

Busy_Mee1 wrote: »

Suffolk Lass are you my long lost sister :rotfl:

:T thanks for making me smile this morning

Treadingonplaymobil

Week 62: Day 6

Wow, more great ideas overnight! Thanks everyone. I am so grateful for you all offering advice. I don't think there has ever been a time when I've received a bunch of opinions when I haven't taken away something really useful from it.

remote_control my hourly rate is, to a large extent, set by the industry - I'm already at the top end of it. I did put up the price of a standard service at the start of the year by 25% though, as I felt like I had the experience at it to put the price up above the market rate. Hasn't affected the number of bookings for that service, which is a good reminder not to get too hung up on industry standard prices. I haven't increased the prices for my contract for for four years, but it's such a crucial part of my budget that I am terrified to rock the boat. Maybe next Jan.

Silver Queen thanks for that link, will investigate today!

BusyMee1 regarding builders quotes - I'm guessing if I source and price all the fixtures/any unusual materials before the quote is done, he can factor them into the quote (rather than me going through and manually adding everything after the quote is delivered)? I spoke to someone just last week whose extension went over budget by forty thousand pounds because she didn't think there would be much difference between things like 'one light fitting, single ceiling rose' and '12 recessed ceiling lights', so everything came as an extra on top of the original quote. I figure a control freak/planner like me can make 95% of those decisions in advance and factor them into the cost. Sounds like main contractor is definitely the way forward.

Suffolk lass that's some brilliant MSEing. My mum would definitely let us store things at hers for perhaps 6 months, she has masses of space and doesn't particularly like it cluttered (I wonder where I get it from....) but I think if there was a deadline on it she'd be fine.

Ended up having yet another looooong chat (read: an argument with both of us talking terribly politely ) with DH last night about needing him on board with budgeting tightly and earning more this year. His first response to any suggested budget change is 'we can't possibly spend any less or earn any more, there's no chance'. He is also being quite negative about the extension, while acknowledging that it absolutely needs to be done, so is basically giving himself permission to be grumpy and negative about it while I have to do all the work to progress it forwards and essentially carry him with my enthusiasm. I don't mind doing the grunt work - I have more time, and I like it - but I do need him to be engaged and enthusiastic with the process and ok with the fact that this year and next are going to be hard work. His constant negativity is turning him into the boy who cried wolf - when he actually has a point about the budget or a logistical issue, I tend to ignore him as I don't know when it's a 'real' concern. I said he had the weekend to get over himself, sit down and really spend time with the budget etc, and if he didn't sort it out I would come to a full stop next time he has a paddy about the price/hassle and leave it to him to get it moving again .

Today's list is essentially yesterday's, as DC3 was so poorly. She has just (delicate dispositions, turn away now) been sick because of all the mucus she's coughing up, which was slightly grim.

Paid the rounding down pot from my business account off the barclaycard this morning, £11.45. Only £140 to go to cross the £14k barrier on the CCs!

To do today:
1. Contract work for next week.
2. Pack orders for smaller business.
3. Clear emails.
4.. Go through budget and plans with DH, agree some clear goals for this year.

Debt repayment:
- £44.57/30 April rounding down pot.
- £1,936.91/£5,000 2018 debt repayment goal.

Suffolk_lass

Re pillows - Good sleep is essential. This is not the place to economise. I have tried many over the years but I now have a single Dunlopillo latex rubber pillow. For years I had two but the two parts of the Company branded name are now one and the formula is closer to the mattress (firmer, thicker). I did explore getting our nephew to source the old style ones in Australia but I could not justify the cost. One is enough. I love it now.

I have tried all sorts of premium brand and economy pillows. Knowing your thing about plastics I urge you to try a latex one and set up a savings pot. You could (I can't believe I am suggesting this) use your JL credit card for all your fuel and save the rewards vouchers as JL do stock them.

If latex isn't for you, you are looking at down/feather or cotton/wool fillings. I was going to suggest King of Cotton (not sure if you know them - online boutique hotel supplier of premium bed and bathroom stuff - I started with hotel slippers which are excellent, and I can (can so!) justify five pairs at a time; just a better price, you don't have to buy multiples), but they appear to be mostly hollofill. They have regular promotions and I have slept on their pillows in hotels - they are very comfortable. You do need to love your pillow.

I have started to post about pillows three times previously and then deleted them so as not to encourage spending but you cannot survive on a useless pillow - it will make you ill and grouchy.

Re your DH - mine is just disinterested so I do it all. I have explained the approach and we have got past all the sub-text so that now when I say "I need you to see this (in case I die under a bus; is the sub-text)" he knows he has to. I find a brief summary works best. He is much happier pottering with his motorcycles. Would this approach work better? then he can ask you questions about the details and you can explain your rationale.