£67,031.92 is a frightening number indeed....

Treadingonplaymobil

Suffolk_lass wrote: »

Re pillows - Good sleep is essential. This is not the place to economise. I have tried many over the years but I now have a single Dunlopillo latex rubber pillow. For years I had two but the two parts of the Company branded name are now one and the formula is closer to the mattress (firmer, thicker). I did explore getting our nephew to source the old style ones in Australia but I could not justify the cost. One is enough. I love it now.

I have tried all sorts of premium brand and economy pillows. Knowing your thing about plastics I urge you to try a latex one and set up a savings pot. You could (I can't believe I am suggesting this) use your JL credit card for all your fuel and save the rewards vouchers as JL do stock them.

If latex isn't for you, you are looking at down/feather or cotton/wool fillings. I was going to suggest King of Cotton (not sure if you know them - online boutique hotel supplier of premium bed and bathroom stuff - I started with hotel slippers which are excellent, and I can (can so!) justify five pairs at a time; just a better price, you don't have to buy multiples), but they appear to be mostly hollofill. They have regular promotions and I have slept on their pillows in hotels - they are very comfortable. You do need to love your pillow.

I have started to post about pillows three times previously and then deleted them so as not to encourage spending but you cannot survive on a useless pillow - it will make you ill and grouchy.

Re your DH - mine is just disinterested so I do it all. I have explained the approach and we have got past all the sub-text so that now when I say "I need you to see this (in case I die under a bus; is the sub-text)" he knows he has to. I find a brief summary works best. He is much happier pottering with his motorcycles. Would this approach work better? then he can ask you questions about the details and you can explain your rationale.

:rotfl: I love that you've spent three weeks working up to advising me to spend money. You're right, rubbish pillows really are grim. I daren't crack out the partnership card, as that has been the start of the slippery slope for us every single time we've relapsed over the past five years or so after paying off some debt and getting complacent. However a pillow is top of the house things list - post currently up to £9 and counting! I'll be ready to buy one some time in 2023 at this rate . Thanks for the recommendations though, will check them out. There is a shop in town which sells natural latex, buckwheat, organic wool and half a dozen other things. I might need to go and lie on the shop floor to get a feel for them!

I don't mind DH being disinterested, but he is, on the whole, the one who overspends on things like food and entertainment, so I need him sufficiently on board to stick to the budget. If he is going to be disinterested I also need him to not be actively negative about the extension/the budget or whatever, but just to accept things, because if he isn't going to actively be involved, he needs to let me manage it. At the moment we're in a weird halfway house. I might actually ask him if he just wants me to tell him raw numbers at the start/end of each month without any explanation at all - I suspect if the entertainment kitty dropped from £25pw to £20pw he wouldn't even remember what the previous month's kitty was.

ellen_vannin

Budgeting

Sometimes it is a lot easier with actual cash,
when trying to explain your point on budgets.
Try giving DH a jar - we use recycled glass coffee jars with spends in for the month, when it runs out it is gone no refills until next payday.

Because the little things like snacks at petrol stations etc really do add up.

Also overpayments to CC or SO'S to savings accounts, when you have the money, at the start of the month, seem easier. Rather than the approach of we will see if any money left to throw at CC.

Treadingonplaymobil

ellen_vannin wrote: »

Budgeting

Sometimes it is a lot easier with actual cash,
when trying to explain your point on budgets.
Try giving DH a jar - we use recycled glass coffee jars with spends in for the month, when it runs out it is gone no refills until next payday.

Because the little things like snacks at petrol stations etc really do add up.

Also overpayments to CC or SO'S to savings accounts, when you have the money, at the start of the month, seem easier. Rather than the approach of we will see if any money left to throw at CC.

I find I'm the opposite with cash - we end up spending it without keeping a record (DH is worse than I am about this, and NEVER knows what he's spent cash on, even £50 or more if he has it, but I'm no angel), so there's no receipt to look back at to see what went wrong and learn for next time.

The trouble with payments at the start of the month is that there isn't actually any money for them - I am reliant on earning extra during the month to making debt overpayments or move money to savings - our SOA doesn't have room to make additional savings/debt payments at the moment.

edited to add: I should say that we're not struggling to make the budgeted payments, like the £285 for the extension, and they aren't being dipped into, it's extra savings that are the challenge.

Treadingonplaymobil

I'm thinking of, like so many things, I might add a budget update to our family meetings. DS1 is so fantastically sensible that he will help keep DH on track. Obviously not sharing debt overpayments or whatever, but how much we've put into the extension pot and how much is left in the family/food/diesel kitties. I think the DC would be interested in that.

ellen_vannin

Never to early for the children to learn that cash is not unlimited and how to budget accordingly.

MatyMoo

My sister has done a few renovation projects.

One kitchen was from a liquidation auction of a local kitchen company, she got everything in the ex display kitchen including the tiles & appliances at about 25% of the original cost.

Her latest kitchen came via two eBay purchases, one ex display & one barely used that included a fridge & freezer, that mixed & matched together perfectly. Total cost under £250 & she just needed a carpenter to fit it.

Silver_Queen

I am a fan of the JL duck feather pillows which are £19. They stay fluffy and don't shed feathers like all the other feather pillows I've tried.

My sister has hollowfibre pillows from Marks and Spencer which she wholly recommends. I believe they were around £25. Problem is that she's only had them for a couple of months so there's no telling how they will last.

Treadingonplaymobil

Week 62: Day 7

So. Freaking. Ill.

Apparently I have contracted DC3's bug, and have been completely washed out since yesterday mid-morning. Just lying on the sofa all day with a temp, feeling like a total dish rag, slept for 12 hours and feel only slightly more human today.

Have decided to go for a budget update at family meeting time (Sunday evenings, so will experiment with that tonight), sharing any extra extension savings and how much is left in the family kitty. Have been doing lots of research about build costs while lying prone on the sofa and it's clear we need to make sure we are careful with every last penny over the next 12 months to ensure we have enough to build the thing.

So frustrated at being ill, I had loads of baking, tidying and bits and bobs to do this weekend, as well as a bit of work. So irritating. Did at least manage to do some of my contract work and emails yesterday while collapsed on the sofa.

To do today:
1. Pack orders for smaller business.
2. Attempt to make something for packed lunches next week.
3. Plan next week. Ignore any possibility of still being ill tomorrow.

Debt repayment:
- £46.36/30 April rounding down pot.
- £1,938.70/£5,000 2018 debt repayment goal.

earthgirl

I would second sharing budget info with DCs. I do with mine 5 and 7 years old. Its great to hear them say - no I don't need that, I'd rather we saved up for a holiday... I hope that their sensible attitude will last!

Cross post - sorry to hear you are ill, hope you feel better soon!

Courgette

Hi TOPM,

I've been reading your diary since around the Easter weekend and have finally caught up! Such an interesting thread!

Your ideals re plastic and organic etc are very much like mine used to be before I got really swept up in overpaying the mortgage. You've given me lots of food for thought though around how I can move us back in this direction again without compromising our financial goals either.

I also used to bake my own bread and do lots of crafting, all stopped when I had DS3 - needs immediate resumption!

I know this is absolutely not the point of an MSE diary but you've inspired me to start spending money both on myself and my children :eek::rotfl: because actually my kids are missing out on stuff because of my ultra frugal ways. More food for thought.

I was gonna suggest you put your prices up but someone already has now. Just checking though, can you definitely not push them up even a couple of quid more? With things like your blog, do you have affiliate links in posts? Even just having Amazon can be helpful. Can you turn any of your blog posts into an ebook? No idea if you know this but the pattern for ebooks is that those that are around the 30,000 area in the bestsellers list sell around 5 copies a day and the author makes up to 70% of the cover price. If there are any books in an area you know something about with these kinds of sales figures, that could work for you as a passive (once it's written) way of bringing in extra income? Just a thought.

Good luck with everything. We're just coming to the end of building work. Do worth it, but urgh