Housebound due to dog's separation/isolation anxiety

iammumtoone

gettingready wrote: »

We seem to be stuck on the 10 minutes no matter what, I am not sure I can move past it with Zara to be honest.

Not updating here as nothing to update

I dont know anything about dogs but have you considered it is you that is stuck on the 10 minutes rather than the dog?

You seemed to be convinced that this is the limit are you sure you are not subconsciously conveying this to the dog with your stress levels when it gets close to that time.

I fail to understand if the dog can last 10 minutes why it can't last 10 minutes 10 seconds for a week if necessary, then 10 minutes 20 seconds etc.

Could you try setting your phone timer so you know when to go back to the dog within the second, this might be good for the dog as well as they will associate the timer going off with about to see you make sure you go back as soon as the timer goes off.

Good luck

gettingready

Zara starts barking literally after 10 minutes.

I go out 5-6 time per day, different jacket/shoes/bag.

She is always by the door when I leave - she gets agitated as soon as she senses I am getting ready to leave.

I put clothes on, sit down, get up, make a cuppa, get up to leave - she know very well when I get up to just walk to the kitchen or when I get up to head for the front door.

I guess she stayes right by the door when I leave.

Fosterdog

I know you said she is fine if someone else takes her for a walk and brings her back after you've left but what is she like if someone else is there with her when you leave?

Personally I don't think the whole getting dressed then pottering around the house helps at all, I know it's what some trainers and behaviourists recommend but when I've tried it it just drags out the inevitable and makes them more anxious, like you said she knows what's going on. Just coat on and out the door, no fuss no faff no bye bye baby I'll see you later mummy won't be long. At most it's here's your toy/chew/treat and leave or teach her "bed" and send her to her bed then leave.

iammumtoone

gettingready wrote: »

She is always by the door when I leave - she gets agitated as soon as she senses I am getting ready to leave.

And I guess you get agitated when you are getting ready to leave as you know what will happen, she is picking up on that. Thats not a easy fix for either of you I appreciate that.

I would try a "sign" eg timer/set noise that she can hear just before she sees you, hopefully she will then start to listen out for it so you can increase the time she has to wait until she hears it.

Person_one

gettingready wrote: »

Zara starts barking literally after 10 minutes.

Ok, so maybe you drop to 8 minutes for a bit or even 5. Then slowly (very slowly) build back up to 10 and then go beyond. Its a victory for both of you, will get you both in a better mindset, and you'll be cutting off the stressful activity well before the level where her stress gets too much for her.

elsien

Dogs are quite good at anticipating - if you're practicing a minute long stay and always do the minute, their @rse will be up at 55 seconds. I'm guessing this is similar. You need to mix up the times between longer and shorter ones.

gettingready

Fosterdog wrote: »

I know you said she is fine if someone else takes her for a walk and brings her back after you've left but what is she like if someone else is there with her when you leave?

She is fine then. When my daughter was living with me and I was going out first and my daughter after me - Zara was fine.

Fosterdog

Maybe now is the time to start making friends with your new neighbours, you may need their help if you get a job soon. If somebody could just sit with her for ten minutes after you leave you could at least get out of the flat to work.

It is sounding more and more like she is picking up the signals from you, you are anxious that she will react, she then reacts to your anxiousness which makes you more anxious next time and you get stuck in a viscous circle.

Person_one

How are you getting on GR?

gettingready

Not good at all and to be honest after giving it a long thought - Zara is 10.5 now, perhaps there is no point in making her miserable and stressed not knowing how much longer has she got left