Housebound due to dog's separation/isolation anxiety

gettingready

I am honestly so worn out with this.

Not working now and when I do go back to work it ill not be on the same pay level I was before so having Zara looked after by someone on a full day basis will not be an option any more.


She will NOT stay alone for any amount of time without barking/howling non stop for the whole time I am out. Be it 30 minutes or 8 hours.

When I am in she will often happily decided to go to another room to sleep all by herself but I am absolutely not allowed to live the flat.

This is not a new thing, she has always been like that and she is going to be 11 now.

Yes I have done all the "pick up keys, put coat on, sit down", "come back after few minutes if she is good" etc etc and it simply does not work with my girl.

I only went to Tesco , was out 30 minutes and she barked for the whole 30 minutes.

I was out for 4 hours last Friday - she barked for 4 hours.

I come back, I ignore her completely till she calms down, I read/watch all advice and follow and NOTHING works.

I am dead tired of this situation. I used to pay an absolute fortune to have her picked up in the morning before I was going to work and dropped off in the afternoon - I will not be able to afford to do that any more as done a 180 degree turn career wise so will be on much less money when I go back to work.

I feel like a prisoner, I go absolutely nowhere apart from quick run to the shop.

It is driving me absolutely insane now - I feel sorry for her to be so unhappy but also finally feel sorry for myself as I really have absolutely no life whatsoever.

When I am at home - she just sleeps and not even in the same room most f the time. But I am not "allowed" to leave at all.

No idea why am I even writing this as nobody can suggest anything that I have not tried already and really nothing works.

I do not want want Zara to be so unhappy, I do not want her to be a nuisance to neighbours and I have no idea what to do.

She is not destructive in any way she just barks and howls and barks and howls all the time when alone.

EDIT: Board Guides, pls close this thread, thanks.

Lily-Rose_3

Is rehoming her an option?

Maybe with someone who is in all the time/housebound?

May be the best option for you both.

Sagz_2

Have you tried Zylkene? It works on my stressy Lurcher, Serenum also takes the edge off enough for him to sleep.

bmthmark

Sorry to hear the issues you are having.

Can I ask, how do you know she barks for the whole time? The only reason I ask is my dog use to cry/howl/bark when I leave but if I come back quietly I can not hear him at all. I have a motorbike and he figured out that it was me (from the sound) so he would make noises (in excitement) when I pulled up on the drive. I started parking further down the road and I didn't hear a thing from him. I also spoke to my neighbour and she said she hasn't heard anything.

Also i'm sure you have done this but every time I leave I get a filled kong made up for him. So he knows when I leave he gets a treat. This has stopped the initial crying etc.

I did setup a wireless camera but I found myself constantly looking at it. It was driving me crazy watching his every move and I felt out of control if he decided to do something. So in the end I turned this off.

Have you had a chat with a dog behaviorist? a friend of mine had similar issues (which i'm sure is very common) and the issue was resolved fairly quickly. Unfortunately dog behaviorist's are not free so you will need to pay them.

Please keep us updated. I really hope you can resolve the issue as i'm sure its causing you a lot of stress.

Person_one

There's absolutely no chance that you've got the only dog in the world that can't be helped to spend time alone calmly. Something can be done, but you are now so exhausted and fed up with it and so convinced nothing will work that it probably won't be something you can manage alone.

Can you access help from a behaviourist on your pet insurance?

Obviously you can't rehome an elderly dog with complicated medical history and a behavioural issue this severe.

Is there any possibility of working from home until the situation is better? Are any of your new neighbours dog lovers who are at home a lot who might be happy to help out? Any non-working dog-owning friends nearby that you could come to a reciprocal agreement with where you help them out when you're free and they help you when they are?

gettingready

Lily-Rose - no rehoming is absolutely not an option. I had Zara since she was 4 months old baby and would never rehome her.

Sagz - did not want to medicate her but I may have no choice. Just need to see if Zylkene will be ok with other meds she is taking.

Bmthmark - unfortunately I know for sure, from neighbours.

Person One - I had to cancel Zara's insurance when we moved as it jumped to £259 per month (!!!!) . It went up to £197 per month at renewal in October but then up again in December when I changed the address - to insane £259 per month and being out of work I just had to cancel at that point. So dog behaviourist is not an option.

I would never rehome Zara, no matter what. Just had a really !!!!!! and depressing day yesterday and it all got on top of me to be honest.

I was supposed to go to a Vegan Festival on Saturday with my daughter, really looked forward to it but my 30 min trip to Tesco caused Zara to bark non stop so clearly I am not going anywhere on Saturday now. I go absolutely nowhere. Ever.

And I am not even talking about going out for fun - I am talking about being able to go to some shops to look at things to make food shopping. It is just a fast run to Tesco and back. That is just really draining on me.

I will not be able to work from home, I have no idea when will I go back to work but it will not be a working from home scenario for sure.

I did not mind paying for Zara to be boarded on a Mon-Fri basis when I was commuting really far for work (3 hours each way 5 days per week) as I was paid a very decent money. But there was a long time that Zara alone was costing me very close to 1k per MONTH (insurance, boarding fees or day care fees, food, excess at vets etc) and I will not be able to finance that kind of set up any more.

Just look at Zylkene - she would need the 450mg ones if I wanted to try it but I find it a bit confusing as it says for dogs 30-60kg you need to give 2 tablets per day. Zara is 41kg. Will call Animed now and see if it really would need to be 2 tablets per day for her.

EDIT - Just spoke to Animed, Zara would need 2 capsules of the 450mg a day. That works out very expensive as the 20 tablet packet cost £26.39 and that would only last 10 days.

sheramber

With all my dogs - over the last 45 years - I have a leaving routine. I know it is not what behaviourist advise but it has worked with all my dogs.

When I get ready I tell my dogs ' you stay home'.

When I am leaving I tell them 'in your bed' , which is in the kitchen, and give them a Bonio- a special treat for them.- saying 'good girl/boy. Stay home.'

They soon start running to their beds when I tell them they are staying home.

I give them the biscuit then I leave closing the kitchen door.

I doesn't really matter what you say. It is a cue word like any other. A friend told her dog 'I'll be back in 5 minutes' when she left her.

When I come home I open the kitchen door to be greeted by two happy dogs. I do not ignore them I speak to them and pet them as they greet me.

As a pup, one of my current dogs, didn't care about me going out but howled when my husband went out- even if I was there with him.

So he had to go through the routine with Murphy. Murphy would settle down with no noise.

After 5 minutes I would go into the kitchen and he would lying in his bed- no howling.

At 12 years old Murphy now doesn't howl but he still lies behind the front door the whole time my husband is out if he doesn't go through the leaving routine.

I neither ignore them beforehand or once I return.

I did find leaving a radio or tv on meant they thought I was still in the house and they got upset at being shut away.


I explained the above on another forum and someone who was having problems with her dog started doing it and found it worked with her dog.

I have no experience of it but you might like to look into https://www.borrowmydoggy.com/

Person_one

Do you have any savings left over from when you were in the better paying job to pay a behaviourist for a short period? Maybe even just one assessment session so they can get an idea of the problem and give you an estimate of the time and cost of dealing with this?

If your dog is truly howling constantly for the whole time you're out of the house I would be very very surprised if a 'natural remedy' would do much good to be honest. Its the roots of the behaviour that needs to be dealt with, your dog needs to feel genuinely settled, secure and calm without you there and that won't come from a supplement. Even their own website doesn't claim that its a solution for longer term problems.

foxtrotoscar_2

I suspect it's not the dog that needs training to be honest. The dog has 'learned' it's behaviour.

MumOf2

sheramber wrote: »

With all my dogs - over the last 45 years - I have a leaving routine. I know it is not what behaviourist advise but it has worked with all my dogs.

When I get ready I tell my dogs ' you stay home'.

When I am leaving I tell them 'in your bed' , which is in the kitchen, and give them a Bonio- a special treat for them.- saying 'good girl/boy. Stay home.'

They soon start running to their beds when I tell them they are staying home.

I give them the biscuit then I leave closing the kitchen door.

I doesn't really matter what you say. It is a cue word like any other. A friend told her dog 'I'll be back in 5 minutes' when she left her.

When I come home I open the kitchen door to be greeted by two happy dogs. I do not ignore them I speak to them and pet them as they greet me.

As a pup, one of my current dogs, didn't care about me going out but howled when my husband went out- even if I was there with him.

So he had to go through the routine with Murphy. Murphy would settle down with no noise.

After 5 minutes I would go into the kitchen and he would lying in his bed- no howling.

At 12 years old Murphy now doesn't howl but he still lies behind the front door the whole time my husband is out if he doesn't go through the leaving routine.

I neither ignore them beforehand or once I return.

I did find leaving a radio or tv on meant they thought I was still in the house and they got upset at being shut away.


I explained the above on another forum and someone who was having problems with her dog started doing it and found it worked with her dog.

I have no experience of it but you might like to look into https://www.borrowmydoggy.com/

This is just what I do. 'Go to bed' and a bonio. 'Stay there'. 'I won't be long'. 'Bye-bye'. Leave the radio on and walk out.


On returning, I respond to excitement of me coming in and play for a while with Polly's favourite toy that she brings to greet me.


For the first few months as a puppy, it wasn't terribly successful and there was a lot of barking and whining, but we persisted and now we can leave P for anything up to 5 hours (she's four a half now and has a strong bladder!).


There's a track available on you tube called 'relax your dog' - it really does seem to work!


Don't want to sound harsh, but it really is a matter of persistence, consistency and learned behaviour.


MumOf2

gettingready

Sheramber - I have been doing all this with Zara all her life and honestly it really does not work with her. And I live alone with Zara and the cats.
Borrowmydoggy - I have tried this before but with Zara I need a mon-fri regular sitter and this is not how that site operates. Very random requests from people who want to have a dog for odd days.

PersonOne - I have zero savings, I have been out of work for few months now and when I did work - my expenses (especially for Zara) were sky high.

Zara starts barking/howling about 10 minutes after I lealve. I tried locking her in one room and leaving her with the run of the flat - makes no difference. TV on, lights on.