Not religious but love feeling at Church

Torry_Quine

Jackieboy wrote: »

Neither of the churches I attended regularly 10 years ago did. It can be helpful if you're new but shouldn't be seen as essential all the time.

It's not essential but would be missed if not there. It's all I've known but is a good opportunity to talk with others, without it people would be leaving straight away. For newcombers church lunches are held.

Jackieboy

Torry_Quine wrote: »

It's not essential but would be missed if not there. It's all I've known but is a good opportunity to talk with others, without it people would be leaving straight away. For newcombers church lunches are held.

Sorry, what would be wrong with that?

Rosemary7391

Torry_Quine wrote: »

It's not essential but would be missed if not there. It's all I've known but is a good opportunity to talk with others, without it people would be leaving straight away. For newcombers church lunches are held.

Actually I think it is essential, at least in some form. In my opinion fellowship is a significant part of being church. I don't need church for worship, but fellowship with other christians - that's church to me.

Torry_Quine

Jackieboy wrote: »

Sorry, what would be wrong with that?

Nothing wrong per se. In many ways though the time spent building relationships with others is as important if not more so than the actual service. That's not to say those who need to leave quickly are wrong just missing out on an important part of being a Christian

fierystormcloud

Rosemary7391 wrote: »

It's really surprising just how many folk it takes to keep a church going. Let's say you need just 2 people to make the service happen on a Sunday; but they can't be there every week, so you need a pool of 5/6 people to draw on there. Then behind the scenes, someone needs to deal with the money, someone has to do the paperwork, someone has to make sure the building doesn't fall down, someone has to keep it clean and those jobs all take a fair amount of time. So a small church that only has the bare minimum amount of work to do still needs about 10 people doing stuff regularly to keep it on, before we've even served the tea. That's why churches are keen for folk to help out! The more who help, the more the church can do.

I do agree that there shouldn't be pressure; but alternatively some folk do just need drawing out of their shells. Some of our stewards are really blossoming and finding skills they didn't know they had since being encouraged to do things. It's a fine line though! Church really is a community; hence all the extra bits that go along with a thriving church. Lots of calls for volunteers just means the church is doing lots of stuff, which is a good thing in my opinion. They're not just for Sundays! I'm liking all the stories of folk finding calm in empty churches during the week they wouldn't find it in ours though, the building is in use every day of the week.

Fierystormcloud - not every church will suit everyone. It might be worth your friend going to some other churches if she doesn't get on that well with people at hers? I got invited to do things before I even went to my current church (advantages of a national denomination!) but especially in larger churches, it's easier to just be a member of the congregation+whatever groups you fancy, as the workload is shared among more folk.

Someone needs to make sure the building doesn't fall down. Are you winding me up?

If you ARE serious, then I put it to you also that you're exaggerating the amount of people needed to perform a service and keep the Church going. I'm not saying a couple of people can keep it going, and I know Church doesn't only do things on Sunday (I'm not daft!) However, they don't NEED the amount of people they keep asking. It's just not necessary, and smacks (to me) of trying to get people to become part of their 'Church group' when they really just want to be left alone.

Like I said earlier, my friend said not a week goes by when they're not asking people to volunteer for things; to clean the Church, serve the teas, decorate the Church, do the flowers, join in with 'Church groups' and activities outside of the Church, clean the windows, hand the booklets out to people, do readings, re-arrange the dust, and other things that frankly don't need doing.

And the 'people need to be brought out of their shell' comment made me cringe. An introverts nightmare; some well-meaning but interfering busybody trying to make you more outgoing and extrovert. *cringe*... This is the problem my friend has been having; no matter how many times she has said no no no no no no no to every last request, because she just wants to worship and pray; some pushy busybody tries to coerce her into joining in with something.

One thing I will agree with is that maybe she needs to go to a Church with a huge congregation (like 100's,) so she can get lost in them and not be badgered. That said, every Church within 12-13 miles only has 20-40 people attending. And why should she not go anymore because of pushy Church bullies?

You and several others keep saying 'Church is a community,' like you don't - and can't belong unless you join in everything, and become one 'the clique.' Can people not just be left alone to worship and pray without being made to feel they are doing wrong if they don't join in Church activities or stay for half an hour after for the refreshments?

As I said earlier, my friend has made it clear multiple dozens of times that she doesn't want to do any more than attend and worship, and she STILL gets badgered. I suspect this is why Church attendance has dwindled so much. Many people probably wish to pray and worship quietly and peacefully, and get sick of being nagged by the pushy Church bullies trying to 'draw them out of their shell' and get them on the Church cleaning rota!

miriamac

fierystormcloud wrote: »

Hope this thread stays friendly and civil.

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Rosemary7391

fierystormcloud wrote: »

Someone needs to make sure the building doesn't fall down. Are you winding me up?

Less so than you might imagine. As far as I'm aware, my current church has always had someone looking after day to day issues - calling the roofer (one leak was caused by someone nicking the lead - it isn't just natural building deterioration!), fixing doors, cupboards, locks, calling plumbers, electricians etc where required, and organising occasional architect reviews - the last one of which identified £300k+ of repair work urgently required. The building is large and well used; it needs looking after!

As to the rest of your post; I don't know your friend's church so can't really comment on what goes on there. Even our small church has people who are perfectly happy just to attend on Sunday, and we're happy for them to do so. I'm just an introvert who is glad that folk made it clear I was welcome to join in the fun now, where'd I leave that paperwork pile... :rotfl:

Gloomendoom

fierystormcloud wrote: »

As I said earlier, my friend has made it clear multiple dozens of times that she doesn't want to do any more than attend and worship, and she STILL gets badgered. I suspect this is why Church attendance has dwindled so much. Many people probably wish to pray and worship quietly and peacefully, and get sick of being nagged by the pushy Church bullies trying to 'draw them out of their shell' and get them on the Church cleaning rota!

You obviously have a bit of a bee in your bonnet about this.

Suggest to your friend that she tries a different church. Like I posted earlier, I attend several different churches and have never come across anyone that I would term "church bully".

Based on my experience, her experience is not typical.

fierystormcloud

fierystormcloud wrote: »

Churches are very calming, quiet, and comforting places, and it's cool and fine and understandable to feel 'nice' in them, but it seems a bit odd (IMO) to want to go if you are atheist (which you are if you don't believe in God.)

Hope this thread stays friendly and civil.

miriamac wrote: »

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What is your problem? It IS staying friendly and civil; we are just sharing different experiences. Some people on here say they have never known a Church like my friend describes (trying to bully people,) and some (a bit earlier in the thread) said they have experienced pushy Church people.

Stop trying to make out I am trying to get arguments going. I am quite entitled to post my view you know!

Fact is all Churches are different, and all Church people are different, and whilst some Churches are all fluffy and cosy and lots of fun and never bother anyone to contribute to anything to do with the running of the Church; some DO badger people constantly and leave them feeling guilty if they don't give their heart and soul to the Church.

I am done on here now. I've said all I want to say, and I don't appreciate being accused of causing trouble, by some random poster who hasn't even contributed to the thread in any way shape or form, except to have a go at me!

I'm outta here. :wave:

System

Churches dont have to be big grand places.

Matthew 18.20 says "For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them."

I'd much prefer a small intimate gathering in a bible study setting but thats just me.