Dreaming of financial freedom!

themadvix

Hey Charly, glad you're back! (and that it was just lack of a PC that kept you away). Sorry to hear your Dad is still suffering though.

It sounds like you're very happy where you are now, so well done for taking the leap and making the move! Look forward to hearing about your schemes to get the mortgage down.

ch4rly2002

Hi Guys, it's been a busy couple of months but I'm back and ready to pick up where I left off.

DH and I went to America in July and stayed right through until the end of August. We got to spend lots of time with our lovely little nephew and got enough hugs to last us until they come across next month for Christmas. While we were over there we celebrated the B-I-L's 40th birthday with a nice meal out and also celebrated his 5th wedding anniversary with a 2 hour boat trip in San Francisco bay that took us round the bay and the Alcatraz island and it had a buffet and bar on, so that was thoroughly enjoyable (not sure I'd want to pick up their $10,000 bill for it though!!!). In between the birthday and anniversary we went on a road trip to Las Vegas and Death Valley. We had hired a large vehicle through the travel agent prior to setting off but when we went to pick it up from the airport the car was nowhere near big enough. The travel agent had booked one for 7 adults with plenty of room for luggage but the airport had allocated us one that would suit 5 adults and 2 children, so surprise surprise we ended up with a huge bill to go up a level (I think it was about $700! - luckily split between 5 of us, but that's on top of the huge amount we'd already forked out). The travel agent was disgusted but said there was nothing they could do as we would have had to ring them at the time (it was out of hours at the weekend in the UK though so that wasn't possible). Unfortunately something we've just had to suck up. We are paying the in-laws back for the holiday in chunks as they knew neither DH and I nor my other B-I-L could afford to go over this year but we had to do it out of obligation for the birthday and anniversary. We enjoyed ourselves but I hate owing so much money for a holiday I could have done without. Anywho, Vegas was great fun and apart from an expensive meal out at the top of the stratosphere (great experience - definitely worth the money) we managed to keep costs down. I skipped a show that I wasn't interested in and saved over $100 but I had to say no several times to the in-laws and really fight to sit it out. Looking at how much we owe, I am so glad I did! After the road trip and boat trip the in-laws went home and DH and I had some time with just the B-I-L, his wife and our nephew. That was nice to relax and do some less expensive activities in the local area. The only thing that spoiled the final week, and it's a biggie, was that we were enjoying a lovely day in Napa drinking copious amounts of lovely free wine (perks of B-I-L having membership to a load of wineries up there, and being a partner in another) was that I got the dreaded call to say my Dad had passed away I was expecting the call as he had been very unwell for a while and hadn't eaten or drunk for quite a few days prior to him passing away, and I had told mum that I wanted her to let me know whenever it happened, day or night. Naturally I couldn't wait to get home to comfort mum (thankfully it was only a few days before we flew home) and that brought the summer holiday to an abrupt end.

When I got home mum had done most of the funeral arrangements. Dad had a Co-op funeral plan which covered most of the funeral. Dad wasn't sentimental about funerals as he was a firm believer that once you are dead, that's it. so, instead of flowers we had a big Yorkshire flag draped over his coffin, at his request, and I put together and printed the order of service and menus. I couldn't believe how expensive orders of service are so mum and I went to Rymans (where I got student discount) and picked up some lovely thick card and I put my IT skills to use. After the funeral we went to a lovely pub with most of the funeral guests (sadly his best friend since university had to leave straight after the funeral to fly to Spain! thankfully he made it and gave a beautiful eulogy). We each ordered a meal and mum put money behind the bar to pay for drinks. Everything was fresh, we all had what we wanted and it didn't cost mum the earth so we were all happy. mum had paid a bit extra to have a DVD of the funeral and I would recommend that to anyone planning a funeral. We now have a record of what his friends and family said on the day and we can watch it back to hear the lovely things said about him. Mum also paid a bit more to have the two TVs on at the crematorium and my brother had put together a slide show of photos of Dad with 'All you need is love' playing over it. it was beautiful and again it's something I would recommend if you have the option.

It's been a big adjustment for mum now that she no longer has to go to the nursing home to see Dad every day, and we are both feeling how strange it is not to be able to just pop round and talk to him. although he lost a lot of who he was, there was still a part of him there that shone through in his personality and jokes, and we occasionally got glimpses of the old Dad (especially when I told him in July that it was his 70th birthday and he replied with "positively decrepit" - which was amazing as he'd been giving monosyllabic responses for months!). One really big positive to take from this is that the nursing home staff, nurse, manager, doctors, funeral home and coroner's office all managed to spring into action quickly enough to get Dad's death signed off and his body into cold storage and his brain harvested within the crucial time limits (you have less than 4 hours to get the body into cold storage before the brain stops being viable). This is huge for us and it was big concern. Dad's brain is now being used to research PSP and I feel like some good has come from his death as it is such a rare illness and they don't get anywhere near enough brains to research due to people not being aware they can donate, not getting the body into cold storage in time, not setting up the donation with a charity and the brain bank in time. I am so pleased dad consented (I had no doubt he would, he was scientifically minded and as I said he didn't believe there is anything after death) and mum made the arrangements even though I know the thought of removing his brain was incredibly upsetting for her at the time.

A few months have passed now and mum has moved in with us. She has her own sitting room and bedroom with en-suite bathroom. She is loving it! She's said how lonely she was living in the flat by herself and didn't like there - she only moved there because it was an independent living unit that they needed for dad in the beginning of his illness. She is cooking for us most days now and doing the food shopping. She is happy to "have a purpose again and feel useful" and it is a huge help for me as work is so busy that I used to finish work and make the evening meal at stupid-o-clock. Now we eat at a sensible time, which pulls us away from our computers, and she's been making tasty and healthy meals. DH has lost nearly 1 stone and I've lost over half a stone already. I've been paying for most of the shopping, mum has paid for a few things when she's been out but I keep telling her to take cash from the drawer so we can pay for it. The reason why I have been paying isn't because I think she's poor or needs charity, it's because even with me paying for her food, it's still less than what we were paying for before. Mum has got used to making the most of things and using up food while she was cooking for just one and all of her spare money had to to go on buying clothes, food, tena pull ups and other medical supplies for dad so she got very good at frugal shopping - she knows how to spot a bargain and things to swap out to save money. So, I feel that if I pay for the money and mum cooks it's a fair trade as I still save money and lose weight and mum enjoys cooking so it works out great for us.Mum is also paying £400 towards the bills as well, which is a great help as we have things we want to do to the house and DH likes to go abroad on holiday so it will all help towards that. I'd say that now we've grieved for dad and got mum settled in, we're all pretty happy right now

In other news, B-I-L and I have been looking to change his cars for some time as his was in need of some fairly pricey repairs and my car was getting on a bit so we've discussed on a few occasions that if I get a new car he would buy mine from me. Well, in September I got a letter from Honda that they were having a special event so as I was having my car MOT at the time anyway I thought I might as well ask about it. They made a great offer for my car and knocked quite a bit off a new car, as well as throwing in 5 years free servicing and free paint protection - which I wouldn't have paid for anyway! so I went ahead and bought the new car. I love it, it's a sporty little Jazz in sunset orange - a lovely bright colour without being garish (well in my opinion anyway). We traded in B-I-Law's car and he agreed to pay me the delta between what they offered for my car and what they offered for his car. I paid for the MOT and replacement brake pads and discs but told him that was his Christmas present from us! My car insurance seems to have stayed the same but I'll be able to tell the full impact when I get my renewal through. I'm hoping the fact that it's a newer car will balance the bigger engine, fingers crossed! I've had it about 6 weeks now and I love it. Sadly, although the B-I-L loved my car, he had a car crash this week and the insurance company is saying it might have to be written off! he's gutted and I'm so sad for him too as it is the perfect car for him and he knows the history of it. We'll just have to wait and see what the assessors say.

We have also decided to sell the rental house. It's only just covering it's expenses and every time there is a repair we take a hit, so we'd rather sell it, hopefully before Brexit affects the housing market (they're predicting house prices to fall next year after Brexit so we want to sell before then if we can). when the house sells we are going to pay back the in-laws the almost £30k that we owe them and it should leave us with around £40k to put towards a garage conversion and fertility treatment (not something I really want to go into too much on here, but the money will be extremely useful for this).

Last bit and I'll sign off. I realise this has been a long update so I'll try and keep it shorter in future - you've probably drifted off long before now. I plan to do a new SOA now that we're in the new house and have a better idea of our bills. I will also update my signature. Phew, done!

gallygirl

Sorry to hear about your dad, though I know it's a relief for him and you all as well Good luck with your plans xx

themadvix

So sorry to hear about your Dad Ch4rly, but it must have been a relief for him and for you all too.

The holiday sounds painfully expensive but it sounds like you're back on track now. It sounds like having your mum with you is working really well at the moment for all concerned!

How annoying about the car!

Kittenkirst

Good to see you posting Charley!! :j

So sorry to read about your dad Charley, the funeral sounds like a lovely way for the family I remember him x

How lovely for your mum to move in too with the added bonus of the weight loss too, very inspiring to read.

We loved Las Vegas when we went, San Fran and Alcatraz sound fantastic- hopefully you made lots of happy memories

ch4rly2002

Thanks guys. I am pleased that he is finally at peace and not suffering any more, and Mum is getting her life back now, although she has the odd wobble but that's to be expected.

Although the holiday was expensive, you're right about all the happy memories, and one thing that I learned from mum and Dad is that memories are priceless and get you through bad times

With the holiday and car expenses (paying for the break discs and pads for BIL's car and the deposit for my car) the credit card has been a bit high last month and this month, so I'm trying to have more NSDs. I am making an exception for Black Friday deals, however I'm sticking only to things a) we need and made a note of wanting to buy when they're on offer, b) are genuine offers and c) I can use points, vouchers or get some sort of cashback etc. Yesterday I ordered 2 echo dots from John Lewis (one for us and one for the in-laws - £50 down to £25) using a voucher we were given for Christmas last year, and to make sure it went over the £50 mark for free postage I bought my Grandma's Christmas present too (marzipan fruit).

Mum's been doing really well on OnePoll and Prolific and has been saving the money for her holiday fund. I've decided I should get back on that horse as I'm sure I've been missing out on lots while I haven't been logging onto my PC so I'm going to get cracking from today. I've logged into OnePoll and I have £12.90, so I'm already half way to payout!

The next thing I want to do, while I'm clearing out, is to start a pile of things to put on eBay or FB selling pages. I've given away quite a bit to charity as I needed to clear out quickly ready for guests, but I'm sure there still is plenty. I also want to get all the items I bought for table top stalls ready so I can start that up again when they start up again next year. I could do with the space, and the extra money wouldn't go a miss but I haven't found a good place for a stall yet as the ones I've visited so far had very little footfall. The estate I live on (It's a huge new build estate with 3000 residents) recently set up a selling page for the estate so I will try listing some things on there too. I've used the site a couple of times to buy toys on behalf of the in-laws ready for when the nephew comes over from America. They've had some real bargains

I'm also not too happy in my job at the moment. It pays well and from looking around I'm not sure I'd earn as much elsewhere, but I can't go on feeling like this, my sanity is more important! So, I'm going to update my CV and start applying for new jobs. I'd rather take a paycut and be happier... I can just have a few more NSDs

ch4rly2002

Just updated my signature and I had a thought...I think finances and weight are very similar in that you need to keep an eye on them regularly or you can soon end up regretting it

ch4rly2002

I've started putting together a budget as I think we've been too comfortable and have taken an eye off our spending, which seems to be creeping up, so I'm using a template of one we used to use and just updating it. It will take some time, but I am sure it will be well worth it when we have a better idea of where our money is going. I still haven't got round to doing a SOA yet, but it's on my list.

I've started getting some surveys through now, so I'm looking forward to a little extra boost. OnePoll is up to £14.40 now so I'm glad that's growing - That is one that seems to draaaaag

It's been a long, hard week at work this week, but it's Friday!!!! We have the B-I-L and DH's friend staying over this weekend. DH's other friend is also coming to catch up with other friend this evening too. We're going to have a Chinese takeaway, as is the tradition for the first day, then we will be cooking the rest of the weekend to save some money and be healthier - different to our usual 'games weekends' where we have mainly eaten out. I think it will be appreciated by all - especially our bank balances and our waistlines!

Have a lovely weekend everyone!

ch4rly2002

I saw an interesting video on Facebook last week by Martin Lewis talking about banning unnecessary Christmas gifts and one of the reasons was that while giving Christmas presents feels generous, it could actually be selfish in that it puts pressure on the receiver to give you a gift in return as people often feel obliged to (here's the link if you're interested https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KIXFSnNe_wQ). This really made me think and I have taken this to heart. I know I could do without a massive financial burden every year and I'm sure lots of our friends and family will feel the same. I have bought donation gifts from Oxfam this year for my friends so they will receive a card that tells them a gift of drinking water is being given in their name It is always most difficult with my husband's side of the family as they tend to spend a lot on presents. This year we have agreed to go out for a meal and pay for ourselves as our gift to each other. That way we all have a nice meal and give the gift of our time. We will also get small wrap-up gifts for the stockings but they're just small value and only 1/2 each so a massive cut back from previous years. as we can only get 1 or 2 small gifts, I think this will force us to put more thought into it so that should be nice too. On my side, my brothers and I have all agreed to only give gifts to the children as we tend to end up just exchanging bottles of wine. I will carry on my tradition of giving a small gift in a stocking though

I ended up taking some money out of my savings to cover the large credit card bill (car deposit and brake discs) as I pay my credit card in full each month so I had to find the money. It wasn't too much, luckily, and that's what savings are for so I don't feel too bad. I am aiming to save it back up though and I have been making a start by completing surveys. I hope to list some items on eBay soon as well. That is something that needs a bit of time and a lot of motivation!

the budget is coming on nicely. I'm hoping to put a couple of hours aside this weekend and get that finished with the DH. We are going up to Yorkshire to pick up B-I-L from America and his wife and child from the airport, then coming back to Nottingham to put up the Christmas decorations though, so we might not find time. It will be lovely to see our little nephew again

ch4rly2002

So excited to be collecting nephew and B/S-I-L today. Lots of hugs in order! We've planned to save expense where we can by stopping off at a McDonald's near the airport so we can wait nearby while they land and pick up their bags without having to pay for expensive airport parking charges. I have some McDonald's coffee vouchers so we can have some free coffee while we wait.I can't wait!