True cost of living- how do others manage?

amanda_p

I sympathise with you. Our 2 sons have flown the nest and are now working but uni costs were not easy. We were in exactly the same position as you and we paid for their accommodation, and their fees! This was before the fees escalated to £9000. Both were on long courses, the eldest did medicine and the youngest architecture. They both took out student loans for actual living costs. Because of the nature of their courses neither could have a job in term time, the workload was relentless, especially for the medical student.
They both worked over the holiday periods which helped them the following term. They have both been left with student debt, the eldest was the luckier as his fees were only £1,000 per year and his loan is all but finished. The youngest had fees of £3000 per year and is slowly chipping away at it and almost 50% has gone. At first we wanted to pay everything off for them but this would have been almost impossible and at the end of the day it is their future they are investing in and they look at it like a graduate tax, much the same as income tax.
It is very hard these days to start your working life with debt, something that the older generation did not encounter and we found this idea hard to take on board.
We also had to drive up and clear rooms at uni for both of them in the first year, a 600 mile round trip and then take it all back again. It does make life easier living out after the first year, but you are then paying rent for a house that in the summer they are not using.
It is all swings and roundabouts and eventually it evens itself out.
I sometimes look at friends whose children didn't go to university and think how financially better off we would have been had ours left school and started work at once. This was not to be and seeing the jobs they now hold, realise all the sacrifices were worthwhile. You will look back one day and realise it was money well spent, even though at the moment it is hard.

lifebegins

Thanks everyone- it's useful to hear everyone's views as to what seems reasonable or high.

We'll keep the uni parental contributions the same- I know what everyone means but I want them to have what the government sees is reasonable for everyone and then for them to make their own decisions about how to spend it. They are adults and through no fault of their own are means-tested on us. I don't want to be checking up on how they spend every last penny and making them feel guilty if they want to go out. They both work hard on tough courses, are sensible kids and work in the Summer and should be responsible for their own budgets. Both will probably rent shared houses where they can leave their stuff over the holidays next year which will make things easier (though one is in London so the rents will be terrifying and probably not much cheaper than halls).

That said, I think we need to rein back on the extras we fund i.e. car insurance, haircuts when home, ?holidays though we usually rent a house somewhere so maybe just get them to pay for their own flight/ ferry. I'm thinking about a house swap this year (if I'm brave enough) to cut costs.

Groceries- I've already cut our bill in half I reckon, will look again about cutting more. Will use the price sites.
Car insurance- will take the children off.

Gifts- yes, this will have to come down, but £100 really doesn't go that far for clothes/ books etc. Need to get this down and bargain hunt throughout the year.

Income- I need to look at increasing this!

martinsurrey

lifebegins wrote: »

We'll keep the uni parental contributions the same- I know what everyone means but I want them to have what the government sees is reasonable for everyone and then for them to make their own decisions about how to spend it.

Will you also be expecting them to repay it though?

that's £14k you are giving them for a 3 year course, that the government thinks its reasonable for students to repay...

Why cant they have term time jobs? I worked at my Student Union while at uni (doing a pretty full timetable Maths degree).

lifebegins

That's a fair point about repayment- no I suppose we weren't expecting them to repay it! Not sure how that would work- I'd be really interested to hear what other parents do- the in and outs of financing sons and daughters at uni is not something I've really discussed with other parents we know.
One child is not allowed to get a term time job (uni v strict) the other probably could but has a very heavy timetable (health-related degree).
They're not asking for more, and can manage, particularly with their Summer earnings, unless we reduce our payments of course. Both their courses are longer than 3 years (which is fairly common now I think0

lifebegins

AmandaP- thank you for posting- you definitely know where we're coming from then! I'm glad it was all worthwhile. My two are both on vocational courses as well so hopefully they (and we) will never regret the sacrifices made going to uni.
To avoid such huge costs and debt I think that apprenticeships, and sponsored degrees are great and we would have encouraged this if they were available for our children. Unfortunately number three is showing no signs of wanting to do something that could be sponsored or have a work-based degree with no fees.

I will just have to micro-manage our money and become a (renewed) MSEer

LabRatty

Hi lifebegins,

A few suggestions re your SOA and the discussion since:

Driving: Having son on my insurance for the year would have increased the cost by about £300, but adding him to the policy temporarily during the holidays cost around £80 for the year. It means he uses rather than loses his driving skills. Whether this is practical probably depends on your insurer - mine allows a person to be added up to six times per year temporarily. Seems worth investigating, and as has already been said, each kid only needs to be able to drive one car.

Haircuts: Investigate local colleges or salons wanting models for trainees. Free or very cheap cuts often available.

Dentist: I go to the nearest dental college and have treatment from the students under supervision from highly qualified lecturers. I haven't paid for dentistry for years and it's a very interesting experience too. We travel 20 miles to reach them, but the savings are still much greater than the costs.

More generally, I often wonder too how others manage. Our income is not dissimilar to yours, and while we are no longer in debt there is no way we could afford the lifestyles that some of my work colleagues have (foreign holidays, numerous takeaways and meals out, cars replaced more frequently than we do, new clothes or other treats to self). Given that I work in the public sector and know how much my colleagues earn, I can only assume that there is a large amount being paid for on credit. I also suspect, from teabreak conversations, that they often forgo insurance and do not save anything.... interesting, isn't it?

All the best,
LR

lifebegins

Thanks Labratty, all great suggestions, especially the dentists. I'll investigate further...

pollyanna24

Wow, those uni costs are huge.

I don't want to stop my kids going to uni, but I simply would not be able to subsidise my two when it comes to uni.

I'll just tell them to live at home and I'll support them as best I can that way!

anna_1977

pollyanna24 wrote: »

Wow, those uni costs are huge.

I don't want to stop my kids going to uni, but I simply would not be able to subsidise my two when it comes to uni.

I'll just tell them to live at home and I'll support them as best I can that way!

Looking at your kids ages it will have all chnaged by then.
My kids will come out with debts much bigger than my mortgage:eek::eek:

I must confess I did absolutely NOT want either of mine living at home while at Uni - I believe they miss out on so much of the experience (but that's just me)

MrsTinks

If it helps anyone's guilt about not paying enough for kids rent/living at home etc - my parents left the blooming country when I finished my A-level equivalents... never mind making me move out because they didn't want me living at home :rotfl: