True cost of living- how do others manage?

lifebegins

Thanks for your comments everyone, and for the SOA analysis Essex.

WobblyDeb- I'll look again at our mortgage though to be honest I think we'd struggle to get another deal on "affordability" at the moment given our outgoings and credit card debt.

Thanks for sharing your own experiences as parents/ students. I think 1 child may be able to work a few hours part-time in term-time though the other one is not allowed to by the uni.
We haven't really been systematically putting money away for the various non-monthly expenses, but have started this month to avoid the usual response of "oh, it's the an unusually expensive month- we'll stick it on a credit card" when in fact it is mostly fairly predictable.


I've taken all your comments on board, and will as a minimum ensure the older 2 manage on what we give them without extra perks of chauffeur service to/from uni every term, holidays and expensive presents as I agree, in reflection, they get enough from us already! They have no idea that we are finding it quite tough, perhaps I should broach it. The youngest is keen to get a weekend job as soon as they are old enough in any case.

I'll come back in a few months and post an update where we are- hopefully in a slightly better position, or at least not getting worse (which would be an improvement in itself).

theoretica

Looking ahead, you might want to explain now to your kids what they can expect from you when they graduate. If you haven't already. If they know in advance if you plan to stop helping/make any help a loan/charge rent if they move back then they can plan accordingly and it won't be a surprise.

*Margaret*

Hello, not my usual board but noticed you'd put £30 for medical - I don't know how that breaks down but if you have someone on more than one prescription every month then it might be worth looking into getting a prepayment certificate.

DrWatson1

I think if it were me, I would ask my children to get part time jobs while at uni, and i'd help them out by offering to match whatever they earned in their part time job, up to a maximum of say £250 per month.

So rather than you giving each child £375, I'd given them nothing unless they got a job. If they get a job and earn £250, i'd give them another £250.

This way, you save at least £125 per month and they can "earn" up to £500 per month, so are £125 better off.

As other posters have suggested, it does your children no favours if they get everything too easily!

Chesapeake

DrWatson1 wrote: »

I think if it were me, I would ask my children to get part time jobs while at uni, and i'd help them out by offering to match whatever they earned in their part time job, up to a maximum of say £250 per month.

So rather than you giving each child £375, I'd given them nothing unless they got a job. If they get a job and earn £250, i'd give them another £250.

This way, you save at least £125 per month and they can "earn" up to £500 per month, so are £125 better off.

As other posters have suggested, it does your children no favours if they get everything too easily!

Absolutely genius idea! My parents would have had to fork out serious dosh to me as I had to work my socks off throughout my degree

ani*fan

Hi there

Everyone has offered some really good ideas for money saving and managing this situation, so I have nothing to add in that regard.

What I do want to say is that your support for your children while they study is priceless and your thread has left me feeling a bit tearful. Here's why.

Studying is a full time job. Even if the hours of contact with your tutor or lectures is much less than this, the expectation is that personal study makes up the difference. I am glad one of your children's unis has stated no work during term time. That's absolutely correct. If you want your child to have time, thinking capacity and energy to get the most out of their studies, it's best not to work as well. Most of us didn't have that choice and the fact that your child does is great.

The job market for casual summer work in the uk just now is not good. The last I heard a couple of months ago was that there were 80+ applicants for a casual bar job in my city (which has 2 large universities and a big student population). The opportunities for young people to work during the holidays are slim, even if they didn't need a break too, which they do. None of these jobs come with annual leave entitlement. It's not possible to work all term at uni then throughout the holidays then back to uni and so on for 3 years (4 in Scotland). It's ludicrous that we expect that from young people.

The £8k they have to live on with a full student loan (or loan plus parental top up) may have to last all year. That's £683 per month. They would be better off on benefits and we are all aware of how people on benefits struggle. Halls are no cheaper than private lets, bills still need to be paid and even the dining halls are expensive. Young people at uni are living below the breadline.

Living like this is a constant distraction from everything, including studies. It's very hard to concentrate when you're worrying about your enormous winter electricity/gas bill as well as your grades, how to find the train fare to get home for Christmas, how you're doing in class, etc. There is only so much pressure you can put on an 18- 21 year old and expect them to manage. It would be too much for the adults.

Your post made me tearful as you seem to be trying very hard to help your children and I know from first hand experience how hard it is without any support from your family. You seem to be behind them and it sounds to me like they are fully invested in their studies. You are helping your children to have the best possible career and realise their full potential, therefore setting them up for life. Please do not underestimate how important it is that they feel that from you, it is invaluable.

Also to say, I would show them your budget. Let them see how it works, how much you are also invested in them, how important it is to you that they do well. You are in this together in trying to ward off a massive debt at the end.

Best of luck with it all. x

gingerdad

Have to say a couple of points.

Car servicing - why would you go anywhere near a main stealer with a 6 y/o car? I don't go near with my new car. They are total rip off merchants. As an excellent example my ford main dealer charges £80 per hour for labour. My Independant garage £28. And have had warranty claims with out any issue.

Utilities - as a family of 4 our combined gas / electric is £68 a month. You're £147 is nuts

Summer Jobs - live in an area that really struggles finding staff and loads of summer / weekend jobs for students and kids as an example nearly all of my DDs friends have jobs at 14/15 and most pay well. Problem has got worse since brexit as numbers of immigrants has reduced. Finding staff has become a real issue.

Op looking at your SOA you have plenty of scope for savings. We earn less than you and manage not to be in debt and have decent holidays. But our food bill is about 1/2 yours.

Good luck.

Happy_Kitties

Times have changed very much since I was at uni (talk being at uni the first year the student loan was introduced!).
My daughter is off to uni this Sept and I don't know whether this applies to ur children's uni's but with the uni my daughter is going to, the uni is very much into employing students within the uni, to get work experience during term time and a few extra pounds aswell.
Have ur children looked into all bursaries/grants that they may be entitled to that are not means tested?
With my daughters student card, myself and family can pre load it anytime. She can use it to buy food on campus (she isn't the best cook and the meals are cheaper on campus) and get a discount doing it aswell.
My daughter has asked instead of birthday/Christmas gifts in the future to preload her student card, esp bec of sports training she won't have time to go back to halls for food.
While I don't want her to miss out- I will load her card £50 a month, I do want her to learn the practicalities and balance of life aswell and take the opportunities afforded by the uni at the same time

* I remember having to clean out my room at the end of every term time so the uni could rent them out for events. It was a nightmare!

alianza

Halls are such a rip off, i was shocked at how much my son had to pay last year. Thankfully he got the full loan and also extra bursaries due to his subject (Nuclear Engineering, and me a Green Party, friend of the earth , CND, ageing hippy i feel like a failure as a parent...) but he said if he had known what halls were like he would have gone shared house even in the first year. He saves so much money now he is in a house with others and they all get on well so far.

backinbusiness

Re Halls in First Year - they ARE expensive, however, they are secure, well-policed, not run by rogue landlords, most students are in the same boat, ie first time away from home, and they get to mix and mingle. My eldest daughter is now in a shared house, (with people she met at halls), and my second daughter will go into halls this Sept for the above reasons.