True cost of living- how do others manage?

ReadingTim

The main issue is that you can't afford to subsidise the 2 eldest kids/students to the extent you are doing so at the moment: the monthly allowance, the premiums on the car insurance, taking them to and from university, the holiday for the whole family, etc etc. It's great that you're doing this, but you can't afford it, and as adults, they really need to start paying for themselves a bit more now, so get them off the insurance, and let them make their own way home at the end of term. Similarly, they'll need to chip in a bit if they want to come on holiday with you, but they really should be working at a summer job, as other students do.

Finally, whilst £750 per month is a lot for you, £375 per child per month probably isn't a life changing amount. Yes, I know students can eat pretty cheaply should they wish to (Tesco value beans at 9p per can etc), but it's usually offset by what they spend in the student union bar. The point is, they'll probably need to work anyway, so could easily do a few more shifts either in term time or the holidays, and make another £400 a month (especially as they shouldn't be paying tax), which won't have a massive effect on them, but will have a massive effect on your budget.

lifebegins

foolofbeans wrote: »

Just done a quick loan calculator check and the difference in contributions between yourselves and us is £2000 pa which is £40 a week on top of the £20 a week that we pay so your expected contribution is £60 a week which is more than half of what you pay. I don't know whether your children are studying in London and I have already mentioned we, as parents, always like to contribute as much as we can but if you're paying £750 a month there should be no extras such as car insurance or food - they can afford to buy those themselves.
As a guide: my child regularly posts details of nights out and gigs they are planning to go to so I know they have surplus money and aren't on the breadline. If your children are doing the same they aren't struggling!

Not sure if I understand;
these were our calculations:

Maximum loan from government (for families on low income) = 8,200
Minimum loan (for households on more than ?62K) = 3821

Difference= £4379
Rounded up to £4500 per child

Cost in total = £9000 divided by 12 = 750 (though we actually pay termly not monthly)


Do you mean yours end up with 8200 per year overall as well?


We don't give them any more than this (though obviously they eat at home for free when home in the holidays) and they don't have their own car insurance, just added on to my car for borrowing to see friends etc in the holidays- v little public transport where we are)

Jackieboy

I just wanted to clarify - you have 3 children living with you and 2 away at university? How old are the ones who live with you?

MrsTinks

lifebegins wrote: »

They still have far less than some of their friends with wealthy parents (or in a couple of cases, parents who hide their income!!)

And both the husbeast and I went to schools at one point where we were DEFINITELY the poor people (actually we both grew up pretty poor...) We saw what was possible and set about working towards that. There is nothing wrong with seeing "how others live" and if that is what they want then encourage them to work for it!

At this rate when DD goes to uni (many years away) we will be "the rich parents" due to our income but I have no intention of giving her a free ride! She will learn the meaning of budgeting and debt and IF she deals with that properly I may just wipe it all out for her, but she won't know that until the day I do it and trust me I shall have some pretty strict criteria for deciding to do it.

lifebegins

Sorry, no we have 3 in total

Jackieboy

lifebegins wrote: »

Sorry, no we have 3 in total

Thank you.

If there are only 3 people in total in the household then some of your figures (like groceries/housekeeping) are very high.

I also wonder why you're paying car insurance for at least one of the university students in addition to topping up their maintenance loans and also in addition to running them backwards and forwards to university.

ETA

Rereading your SOA, you seem to be also paying for haircuts for at least one student and taking them away on holiday.

I think you need to either top up their loans as you're doing and then they have to pay everything for themselves out of that and their earnings, or you cut down on the regular money you give them and pay for extras. To pay for everything is just unrealisitic for you and gives them a false view of real life.

Sorry for being a bit blunt.

MrsPorridge

My son is at Uni and we contribute £300 per month to help him out. He gets the lowest loan as, of course, DH and I were means tested. He also has to clear his room out after every term so means we have to make the almost 400 mile (each way) trip 6 times a year. He is not allowed to have a term time job, but he does work during the holidays and that really does help.


He was on our car insurance for a year but as was so expensive we took the decision to take him off - just means the inconvenience of one of us having to pick him up at 3am on the odd night out when he's at home for the holidays - but is certainly worth the saving.


Am delighted that he's now in his final year and hopefully will get a decent job and then we'll be better off each month.


I do understand how hard it is when you have kids - but we only have the one so it's slightly easier for us.

bargainbetty

Just a thought, but why are they bringing everything home and back again when they clear their rooms over Summer? It might be worth checking out a local storage facility as most of them have a BOGOF offer upon joining, and a small unit could probably be shared with another student to reduce costs further. If they can't fit it in their Megabus suitcase, it stays in storage for a couple of months....

anna_1977

I understand why you bring everything home - yes storage may be cheap and your child can megabus BUT how they would need to hire a van to put in and take out of storage - prob at about £50 per go... and more than likely the van hire won't insure them if under 25.

I'd definitely megabus the other one home though

leslieknope

are they both in first year? if not, why don't they go into shared accomodation for the year? i'm not sure why they would stay in halls past the first year if they have to move their things every term! and if you have a shared house, the rent is no more expensive than halls as all bills are being split. that way they can get their own way to and from home and you can cut down on petrol.

are you just topping up their loans for the hall rent? if you are supplementing them to go out, to buy anything other than the necessities, then don't. they are grown ups and you cannot afford it. also stop paying for them to go on holiday/hair cuts - they don't need it. they also don't need £100 per birthday! and paying a higher insurance on the car just for a few weeks of them using it doesn't seem cost efficient.

also if there is 3 of you in the house, over £300 on just groceries is really high.