Would you abandon her?

annandale

I'm trying to think of the last time I saw the Op say anything positive on these boards.

And can't.

Ridiculous trolling for a reaction as far as I'm concerned

Marvel1

calleyw wrote: »

Yes there is. But when the persons behavior and care is beyond you what do you do then?

Don't get married and stay single

troubleinparadise

The article suggests that at present not all treatments or solutions to the problem have been ruled out, so I couldn't just walk away because things were a bit difficult at present.

A permanent problem which made them impossible to live with probably would be a game changer for me, but that would probably indicate the need for residential care of a level that I couldn't provide.

Mr.Generous

The truth is unless it happens to you, you aren't going to know. I'd like to think I'd stay and nurse, buy could I? Words are easy, actions a lot harder. The problem with this case is your not exactly helping the situation, she is allergic to you!

calleyw

annandale wrote: »

I'm trying to think of the last time I saw the Op say anything positive on these boards.

And can't.

Ridiculous trolling for a reaction as far as I'm concerned

Maybe but it opens up a nice discussion.

Interesting to see people who seem to have no dealings with long term sickness or illness. Are saying they would be out of the relationship like a shot.

There is love but then giving up your whole life and identity for another person. That is another thing. And some people are happy to do that and others are not.

And after what I went through I would never judge another person for leaving.

Yours

Calley X

Dird

cjdavies wrote: »

One of the marriage vows "in sickness and in health".

They also say stuff like "according to God’s holy law" when you might not believe and "to have and to hold" but the woman in this situation can't fulfil that part of the agreement

cjdavies wrote: »

Otherwise why get married in the first place?

Social conformity, tax benefits, a day to show off/waste money.

It also says "for better, for worse" but I don't see women putting up with "for worse" when their husband is shafting a co-worker

annandale wrote: »

I'm trying to think of the last time I saw the Op say anything positive on these boards.

MSE's very own matchmaker~ https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/71836732#Comment_71836732

happyandcontented

Dird wrote: »

They also say stuff like "according to God’s holy law" when you might not believe and "to have and to hold" but the woman in this situation can't fulfil that part of the agreement

Social conformity, tax benefits, a day to show off/waste money.

It also says "for better, for worse" but I don't see women putting up with "for worse" when their husband is shafting a co-worker

That is a choice, this is an illness. Very different situations.

Lunar_Eclipse

So incredibly sad. Must be heartbreaking for them both.

No, I don't believe abandoning her would be an appropriate solution, though I can understand most people having moments of wishing things were very different.

KxMx

I'm long term disabled and if I ever did get married, would expect my husband to take vows seriously. That means accepting me in Sickness and in Health.

Perhaps couples need to be realistic and face these worst case scenarios when one is already ill, before marrying. Not get hitched and assume things will never get worse and they'll get a fairytale ending with everything they want and expect out of life.

Dird

happyandcontented wrote: »

That is a choice, this is an illness. Very different situations.

There's no rule that says you can leave out of a life choice but not an illness, and nothing in the vows differentiating between the two...just the "kick them while they're down" makes you seem additionally cruel.

Alternatively, 1 wanting it every night, the other twice per year...not fulfilling the to love & to hold end of the deal