I’m taking control of my life, now.

savingholmes

Sorry 💖 to hear your mum is so ill. Hugs

Suffolk_lass

boxofpaws said:

Just dropping by to say that I haven’t completely disappeared, but life has been trying, very trying. 

Started my new job at the beginning of May, I am not really enjoying it so far, the department is very strange.

But the biggest strain is that my mother is in hospital having developed pneumonia, possibly from the Covid she had in April. She’s been in hospital for around two weeks now. It’s been touch and go, I flew back after a couple of days from my longed-for holiday because we were not quite sure she’d make it. We thought we were losing her, although things seem to be slowly improving now. 

So I am here, worried, tattered, desperate for a break i can never have, but here. 

How awful for you. It all feels like it is piling up, doesn't it. I think the best thing is to plan some escape routes (you do not need to implement them, just develop them).

One at a time and no pressure. 

• Could a few days somewhere like a wellness spa act as an interim solution to the need for a proper break?
• Maybe peruse the job options or explore whether reverting to your former role is an option? - you said I think, you get on well with your new boss... maybe she is looking for another non-strange ally in her role and would welcome a chat about your disquiet (it's easier to turn the supertanker with more than one tugboat!).
• Maybe take a day to meditate and recharge. You do sound awfully stressed.

I don't really do hugs over the internet but it sounds like you need one. Take care.

EssexHebridean

Oh jeez Paws, just catching up here, I’m so sorry to hear about your Mum, it’s an awful strain trying to juggle everyday life with a family member in hospital at the best of times but if you’re also struggling with work stuff too that just adds a whole extra layer. Make sure you let the rest of the family know where they can help - and also that they NEED to help.  Sending love - remember there is always someone here to listen if you need to vent to folk who are away from the situation. xx 

girlatplay

Hello Paws

I'm just back and catching up.  I hope things have started to improve for you.  I hope your Mum is on the mend xx

savingholmes

Thinking of you

EssexHebridean

Paws - I'm sending you lots of virtual hugs and truly hoping that things have improved on all fronts by now. 

boxofpaws

Hello everyone, it’s been a while.

Things didn’t really improve too much for my mum. After she got covid last year, she kept getting pneumonia. Mainly down to her many co-morbidities. In and out of hospital, apart from a couple of better (relatively anyway) months last autumn, it’s all been a bit relentless. 

She died in the middle of February. Whilst not unexpected, there were parts that were pretty traumatic that I might post about later. I’m not in the same state of shock I was in when my dad died but it is a huge readjustment in so many ways.

I will start posting again in the coming days or weeks, right now I just wanted to give an update. I found reading others’ diaries hugely helpful in getting back to real life after my dad died, so I’m off to do that now. 

Thank you for your kind messages since I last posted.

Paws

vampirotoothus

Sorry for your loss BOP, good to see you back V x

Suffolk_lass

Hello Paws. Excellent that you are coming back.

Really sorry to hear about your Mum. My Auntie (105) had a nasty fall in her care home room and unfortunately was admitted to one of the poorest infection controlled hospitals in the Country. There of course, she was infected with first Covid, and then an untreatable anti-biotic resistant infection. The care home were so upset. They insisted she was allowed to be discharged so she could die in her own bed. Their care was exemplary. A good long happy life, well lived. She was ready but to be honest, it would not have been yet.

So hard. Take your time and welcome back x

EssexHebridean

Oh Paws I'm so sorry - it's such a tough thing to deal with, and must be on a whole different level having been through it with your Dad relatively recently too. 

Take your time, and return as, if and when you feel the time is right. xx