I’m taking control of my life, now.

boxofpaws

Morning all

Thank you for posting in my SH, Essex and drawingaline, appreciate the company.
Work has been mega busy so I haven’t been able to post much, but hopefully that will improve from next week

Anyway update for today

Good things 

• Had the telephone assessment with the counselling service. They have recommended grief counselling. That feels right. I’m going to do that.
• Got some more Good Girl points at work. I now have about £275 worth of points to spend. I have actually thought of something I would like. (I didn’t get many birthday or Christmas presents, just tokens, because I genuinely couldn’t think of anything i wanted so it will be nice to treat myself)
• Confirmation that the bonus should be really good this year. This hits my bank in 2 weeks. I might ask your advice what to do with it (I think/ hope it will be a month’s salary) 
• Have fully reviewed my pension. I now know i am paying 6%, and the company pays 9%, with a current additional 3% until July. I have paid into this scheme since I was eligible, since about 30. I did pay into schemes in my old jobs but I think that won’t be worth much. I added a massive 1% AVC from this year. I could have maybe gone higher but we have shortened the mortgage term AND who knows how far the cost of living will increase.
• I was checking through my bank account and saw a pending payment on my credit card I didn’t recognise - I called the bank and it was fraud! It’s on my good list because the bank was able to stop the payment and freeze the card, which is one in the eye to the fraudster. It was nearly £150. Scumbags
• Grocery spends all on track, nice and low.
• Finally, FINALLY, making some progress with the debt consolidation number. When I updated all the numbers the other day, I realised we’d made good progress since Christmas.

savingholmes

Lots of good news there. Sounds like you are in a better place financially.

With the bonus do you have CCs on top of your mortgage or were they all consolidated? If consolidated I would be tempted to keep as an emergency fund and/or pay some off your holiday.

Great you were able to stop the fraud.

Hope you have a lovely weekend. 

boxofpaws

Hi savingholmes

Yes we took out a credit card at Christmas to pay off the overdraft to stop paying fees. It was £4000, and  by payday it will be £2600. So I could more or less clear the credit card with the bonus. 

BUT the cc is on 0% and we had planned to clear £700 a month off it so it will be more or less gone by the time we come to remortgage. The sensible thing would be just to let the payments continue, but it’s VERY tempting to just clear the card. 

savingholmes

Having £700 more a month to play with would take pressure off

boxofpaws

You make a good point. But i’m not sure I want to take the pressure off. I feel like this happens every year, we overspend and then my bonus takes the pressure off. It’s always my problem how we find the money or pay it back. Finally, this way it’s both our problems and keeps the pressure on Mr P. Eg He has picked up a couple of overtime shifts since I told him that I would pay for the holiday accommodation but he was responsible for the spending money. 

The only way to get through this is for him to share the burden, I’ve never made him do this before but now it’s time. And he’s a good boy mainly, he doesn’t really spend a lot but he does still spend more than we’ve got.

EssexHebridean

You're making SUCH good progress! 

I agree - if Mr P still isn't entirely "getting it" you do need to shift the mindset so he actually sees the effects, otherwise to all intents you're "bailing him out" in much the same way we generally advice against parents doing for kids that get into debt. And the reason for advising against is of course that when someone is simply handed money to solve their problems, they never learn the lessons. Apologies if this comes across as a harsh comparison though!  He needs to learn about budgeting and you have a plan that will ensure that the balance will be cleared before any interest is accrued.

Does he get any form of bonus as well, or is that something that your employment model offers but his doesn't? If he gets something in this line as well then how that is handled as part of the "family finances" or not will probably influence how you will both look at yours, but if not then if I were you I think in the first instance I'd just quietly shove it away into a savings account, and keep it as a sort of separate personal emergency fund without drawing any particular attention to it. 

Suffolk_lass

I just went back to the SOA you posted on 2/4th December 21 (on page 50) and it seems to me that an extra £700 a month extra disposable income would really help you smash your debt. It really should be the tipping point of your magic snowball.

We kept a tally of the interest we were paying and the amount of our pot we were deploying to debt and these are the two most motivating things to track. If you can add £100 to your indulgent pots and keep £600 to pay down debt it will make so much difference and the capital debt going is another monkey off your back (my favourite metaphor - drain the swamp and kill the crocodiles or perpetually carry the monkey on your back to keep them safe)

savingholmes

Love your metaphor @Suffolk_lass

boxofpaws

Morning all

Thank you for the very thoughtful replies

@Suffolk_lass - sadly it’s not £700 disposable income, it’s what we’re currently paying against the £4000 credit card. When that’s gone, it WILL be disposable though (in theory, I’m sure it will get swallowed up)

@EssexHebrideann- he’ll get a small bonus, nothing like mine. Maybe £200. He does have the opportunity to do overtime though, which I don’t. And thank you for your thoughts on ‘bailing him out’ it’s exactly what I’m thinking. He really hates having an overdraft so I’m engineering it that we go £200 overdrawn near the end of the month, even though I do have money in the EF. 

The SOA - simplified version. We are going through a period of change, we haven’t paid council tax or water for the last couple of months and have really cut out entertainment since Christmas which is probably not sustainable in the long term. My bike payments stop soon, I get a pay rise in April (annual) and another in May (new job). 

Each get paid ~£2100
£1700 each to a bills account -£3400
Bills -£2400 (this is purely direct debits)
Groceries, fuel, £500
Remainder - spare/credit card. It’s been £700 to the credit card in the no council tax months. It may have to go down to £400 from April. This is the money we are talking about liberating, but all we’d do is spend it. So my bonus would be gone and I’d get hassled to go to the pub all the time cos there’s spare money.
The £400 (x2 so £800) or so left in our accounts is to cover everything else in theory, annual bills, birthdays, entertainment, haircuts, spends, treats. 

This is new for us, doing it this way, but for the first time, i do have a small emergency fund, a tiny amount saved for the holiday and credit in my current account. Good for my general well-being 

savingholmes

Sounds like your plan is working. I find having an EF gives me a lot of peace of mind and cushions me if I mess up in a month too...