Relationship just ended

stormbreaker

You we're right to finish things. Don't be tempted to get back. You are still very young. Like others have said, thank goodness there is no child involved.

annie_d

Whats a parasitically illiterate coward?

Brightonsbest_2

Dear Op

This is my third and final post here.

Sorry re your situation, thank God no baby, you will be ok just need to give it a few days.

Open and shut case, move on!

ATB

pollypenny

Oh, OP, you must have been mad to stay with someone who treats you like that, especially since you say it's gone on from the beginning of your time as a couple.

Give him his marching orders!

*max*

inpieces wrote: »

I haven't had a relationship like this before, I am attracted to the person he can be which is funny and loving. But more often than not i see the other person who is also inside him

The thing is, there are not two "persons inside him". The cowardly, violent, abusive a-hole you see most of the time IS the person he is. Just because he can be loving and funny doesn't mean he is not also a violent thug.

Most people can be loving and caring, and funny, without also deliberately hurting and abusing the people they're meant to love.

You deserve so much better. Not because of who you are either, but because everyone does! Leaving him is the best decision you will ever make. Enjoy the start of your new life, without constant fear and put downs. You will LOVE it.

toniq

You will be ok, it will take time.

Don't in moments of longing become weak and end up back where you were.

Be strong and in a few months you will look back and think thank fluck I'm rid of that.

The levels of violence you describe, if say in 20 years time your child described that situation they were in what would you say?

x

surveyqueenuk

annie_d wrote: »

Whats a parasitically illiterate coward?

A coward who is unable to read and has lice.

annandale

Many landlords do rent to people with pets. Just a matter of finding one who does.

You need to move out of this toxic environment asap.

I wouldn't leave a pet with someone as angry as him.

Primrose

Of course you feel sad and scared. Right now you are still too close to the relationship to be able to look at it in a dispassionate way. If you hada friend or relative who had been treated in the way that you have been, what advice would you give? . It's a fact of life that the problems we see in other peoples' lives we find hard to see in our own.

Good relationships arn't like this. They really aren't and you need to detach yourself from these toxic and negative issues so you can give yourself the opportunity to find somebody nice who will treat you as a human being and as you deserve to be treated. Your partner seems to have an awful lot of personality characteristics that are long term and won't change.

It's just as well you never had a child with him. Keep reminding yourself of all the bad things he has done to you and in time you will start to realise he really wasn't the kind of guy you would choose to spend the rest of your life with.

Of course you have a chance of finding another loving relationship. But you won,t be able to while you're with this guy. So make the break and give yourself time to heal and think seriously and deeply about the sort of person who would make you happy and with whom you would be suited. If you say you have high standards, don't compromise too easily next time . Just set some mental deal breakers for yourself in a new relationship and don,t think you'll be able to change somebody because you won't. Once you're on your own it may initially feel like taking one step forward, two steps back but starl learning to enjoy your own company. Look for new things to do to give yourself a social life and gradually you will get yourself back on track and probably be a lot happier without all the arguments and negativity.

And you're NOT on your own. You!ve got your dog and I'm sure he loves you unconditionally more than your other half ever did. And you've got your family too. They are probably as relieved as hell you are finally out of this awful relationship. Build on the things you DO have and you will eventually get where you want to be

dancing_star

An animal rescue/rehoming charity may have a list of foster carers who could look after your dog temporarily. This means you could stay in a safe place (maybe with your parents, maybe not), whilst looking for something more long term, such as a rental that allows pets.

The local women's refuge / Women's Aid are probably used to this and may be able to direct you to charities that can help.

Good luck getting out.