What puts you off?
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to be honest i believe it was probably just to shut me up
and i know, in so many ways i wonder why i left it so long to leave, but i have always thought you need to work through problems when you have committed to someone, but in the end, i finally realised, because of the resentment that had grown, we had actually ended up living completely separate lives from each other, as the only time we actually saw each other was in the evening after i had got home and finished cooking, we sat down to eat as a family (we do have a child between us, which shocked me as it happened the first time after we stopped using protection, and she has two children from a previous marriage), other than that we didnt really see each other.
as to finding out with new partners, well thats difficult because as you said it can be variable, but i find usually you get a 'feel' for that sort of things with some conversations that occur, as well as physical cues.
physical cues i find is a difficult one to put into words, as sex is not the be all and end all for me, but i am a physical man, i love to cuddle, kiss and touch, holding hands as we walk down the street etc, and those things bring me a lot of happiness, and find i can (cant think of the right word here) cope/survive if i get that sort of intimacy, even with a sex drive mismatch of a certain level.
so thats usually how i try to gauge things, because if its me doing most of the moves to get physical contact and intimacy (not speaking sex in this regards) i feel its likely that i will have to do most of the moves to have sex, which is a little tiring because it does feel as if you are pressuring her into sex. Personally i love it when a woman wants to jump my bones, because you it makes you feel wanted, whereas if its always me initiating it, i do feel as if it is only happening as a favour to me, which is probably a hang up from my marriage, but its how i feel in those regards
You thought right in that you do have to work through problems so don't let her lack of co-operation make you think otherwise. Marriage vows or not, it takes both to be willing to work at it and you can't just be willing because you owe it to the vows, its down to personal moral standards I guess.
It's true that intimacy is more than the act of sh*gging, I personally would not be in a relationship where we are just co existing.0 -
Gloomendoom wrote: »It would. It's a pretty fundamental factor in determining likely compatibility
But like any details on profiles, people can lie to gain your interest.0 -
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But like any details on profiles, people can lie to gain your interest.
That's true but as not everybody is looking for a shag monster, it might be counterproductive.
I suppose you could say the same thing about weight though. By claiming to be slimmer than you are, you risk putting off the genuine chubby chasers.0 -
Gloomendoom wrote: »On occasion, and tongue-in-cheek, I have reminded my wife that she did enter into a contract to honour me with her body.
Does a knuckle sandwich count? - tongue in cheek of course
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Does a knuckle sandwich count? - tongue in cheek of course
oh my i was so going to put a very rude comment about that, might be a bit too much for this forum though
Drop a brand challenge
on a £100 shop you might on average get 70 items save
10p per product = £7 a week ~ £28 a month
20p per product = £14 a week ~ £56 a month
30p per product = £21 a week ~ £84 a month (or in other words one weeks shoping at the new price)0 -
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I was going to use the word fist but decided not to.
glad its not just me that has a rather rude mind :rotfl:Drop a brand challenge
on a £100 shop you might on average get 70 items save
10p per product = £7 a week ~ £28 a month
20p per product = £14 a week ~ £56 a month
30p per product = £21 a week ~ £84 a month (or in other words one weeks shoping at the new price)0 -
Not being honest
My last relationship collapsed due to him allowing me to think that we were going to have a family together. Got to 10 weeks before the wedding and it got postponed as "we were acting more like housemates" 4 weeks later he says its the kids thing. If he had just said sooner it might have worked out better.0
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