Single mum, being pushed out of my company

Guest101

Bogalot wrote: »

It would be helpful to the OP if others stopped picking on irrelevant facts. It wasn't the OP that made a big deal of the extraction, they have only responded to another poster that kept bringing it up.

Also, with regard to another poster that pointed out their child's condition had not yet been diagnosed, a diagnosis is not essential in determining disability for EqAct purposes. On the information given it is quite possible that the child would already be classed as disabled.

'Kept bringing it up' - no I mentioned it in passing.

TBagpuss

OP, if your prime concenr is about reference then I would suggest that you don't worry too much. It's unusual for employers to give bad references - if the refernce is untrue then it can have legal repercussions, and many employers prefer to just give a factual reference "X worked for us from [date] to [date]. her job title was Receptionsist / Admin Assistant" as that protects them any risks of either being sued by the emoloyee if they belive that refernce was untrue and bad, or by a new employer if they believe the reference was untrue / misleading and resdulting in them taking on someone they shouldn't have.

I would suggest that you start to look for a new job. If you can hang on so you move striaght to the new job, then do so. If you cna't, and you hand in your notice then speak to HR and ask what their policy is - who will actually probive any reference ? (It may be that it would be HR, notyour immediate line manager anyway) Can they confirm that any reference will be factual.

If you are right and your manager wants you out, there would be no reason for her to pursue you beyond leaving.

In relatin to sanctions, I think it would probably help if you see your GP and get on record both the level of stress you are under in erms of your child's carre needs, and the stress caused by your job. I suspect that "I had to leave as I was denied a flexible working request and could not continue the job and care for my child" would be reasonable (maybe ask on the benefits board for more expert advice?)

If you haven't already done so, consider making a formal flexible working request, following your firm's internal policy or, of they don't have one, the government guidelines. It may well be refused,but it does give you a clear reason, with a clear paper trail, if you then resign.

Becuase you have been in your job for less than 2 years you could be dismissed for any reason other than discrimination due to a protected characteristic. From what you have said, I think it is unlikely that you would be able to show unlawful discrimination - I'm not saying that there isn't some, simply that you don;t appear to have identified anything which would be proof of unlawful discrimination.

Best of luck.

Jackieboy

Kinderegg wrote: »

How many is 'lots of people' exactly? Fair enough if that's the case, then clearly I was an exception. And if you're going to be pedantic, the NHS website quotes up to two weeks recovery for extraction of impacted wisdom teeth.

http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Wisdom-tooth-removal/Pages/Recovery.aspx

"Recovery" doesn't equate to time off work!

From the site you linked to,

"It's usually recommended that you take a day or two off work after having a wisdom tooth removed."

ETA

Oops, already covered.

But the fact is that this information is in the public domain so you'll already be looked on unkindly because of the abuse of sick leave.

Jackieboy

Bogalot wrote: »

It would be helpful to the OP if others stopped picking on irrelevant facts. It wasn't the OP that made a big deal of the extraction, they have only responded to another poster that kept bringing it up.

Also, with regard to another poster that pointed out their child's condition had not yet been diagnosed, a diagnosis is not essential in determining disability for EqAct purposes. On the information given it is quite possible that the child would already be classed as disabled.

Sorry, I think that taking that amount of time off is relevant to the current situation as well as indicating the OP's attitude.

If you have special arrangements made for you because of your own or somebody else's sickness or disability then it behooves you to keep your sick leave to a minimum in recognition that your employer is doing you a favour - anything else is just taking the proverbial.

nicechap

Just an observation and without knowing the details of the OPs contract I presume OP is coming to end of her sick pay entitlement (2 weeks off last year and is it 4 weeks this?).

motorguy

Jackieboy wrote: »

Sorry, I think that taking that amount of time off is relevant to the current situation as well as indicating the OP's attitude.

If you have special arrangements made for you because of your own or somebody else's sickness or disability then it behooves you to keep your sick leave to a minimum in recognition that your employer is doing you a favour - anything else is just taking the proverbial.

+1

The extended sick leave for a tooth extraction (suggested recovery time does not necessarily constitute time required off work), the sense of entitlement, the victim mentality and the attitude portrayed on here towards people trying to offer objective advice dont really portray a picture of a model employee whom an employer should be bending over backwards to try to accommodate.

annandale

The two weeks she had off for the tooth extraction was a year ago so I'd be surprised if it would be taken into account when calculating sick pay.

Some companies pay more than a few weeks sick pay a year

leslieknope

OP, you clearly don't want to continue working at this company. everything you've said indicates that you won't consider any actions to continue working this which is fine if you don't feel like you can.

raising a child with disabilities is stressful and i'm sure taking away the flexible working from you hasn't helped. but unfortunately flexible working is not a guaranteed perk. companies are required to take on board all requests but they don't have to agree with these if it doesn't work with business needs. there's lots of different reasons they could have changed their mind about it and consider it to be out of the scope of business needs, therefore can no longer allow you to have this. so this is not discrimination. it's a business and unfortunately you are just an employee. if your flexible working has affected their business bottom line in ANY way, you'll be hard pressed to find any employer who will continue it to their detriment.

won't touch on the gross misconduct thing. you haven't told the whole story therefore i cannot make a comment on this.

my sister has suffered badly with her anxiety for the last two years and i can say from the other side of that, she has been extremely difficult in certain respects. she thinks everything i say is unreasonable and i'm treated far better in every situation than her, and zeros in on small issues to make them bigger than they need to be. mental health can be a beast. i know this isn't her being rational, although she 100% believes right now that she is. so i would kindly say to you that your issues will have been made to feel far worse by your anxiety.

but at the end of the day you've just said you want to walk away with a reference that will enable you to get another job. as a lot of posters have pointed out, it's very very unlikely you will get a bad reference. at worst they will refuse to give one. but more likely they will simply respond to any requests with simple facts such as your title, length of service, etc. this isn't necessarily a bad thing. i worked for a company who would only give out references such as these. i left on great terms simply for a new career, with no misconduct, no bad marks, nothing to suggest i was anything but a good employee. but their HR policy was to issue these blanket reference responses. the only exception were people working in finance, as they dealt with large, LARGE pots of money therefore their references were slightly more in depth as they mentioned the various fraud checks they had passed/not passed. this has never hindered me from getting a job. unless you are going into something extremely high risk or specific (like a cardiac surgeon) then these simple yes/no fact references will suffice for most employers.

it also depends, like i said above, what kind of role you work in and what role you are planning to move into. when i worked in retail during studies, it said one of the conditions of my job offer was that i had a satisfactory reference - i had been in the role almost 4 months before my old job actually bothered to respond because the manager had 'forgotten' and they hadn't cared enough to chase it up!

so i doubt you leaving will affect your future career prospects at all, especially if you give the correct notice and leave without causing any difficulty for your fellow employees. indeed i'm sure most will understand if the position is no longer viable for you due to caring responsibilities, which is what i suggest you cite in your resignation!

hopefully this helps.

Mr.Generous

Kinderegg wrote: »

Well, my recovery lasted two weeks, and I wasn't fit for work. I'm sorry if you don't agree with it.

If you were self employed and would have got no pay would you have stayed off for the full 2 weeks? Do you believe you were ill and incapable of work for that period?

Most reference requests ask about number of days absent in last x months - I believe NHS and local gov now ask for absence over last 5 years! This is going to be a big stumbling block.

Do you think things will have changed for the better after your sick note runs out? How do you think it will feel when you go back?

I think going down the sick note route you will have shot yourself in the foot as far as most future employment goes. When I interviewed I always asked about sickness, levels and reasons. I always took a view that people can do a good, bad or indifferent job, but the first hurdle was to turn up. High absence was failing to clear the first hurdle.

Try and not get into a victim mindset or use your child's condition as a reason for the things you cant do. make the best of your lot and try and enjoy having a growing child. its a fabulous time of life, go to the park, ride a bike, climb a hill - make some memories with your child.

Kinderegg

Thanks to those who have responded positively.

I had to take the full two weeks because my face swelled up like a balloon and I suffered some nerve damage which took a considerable amount of time to heal. Well over two weeks, at least. I still don't think this is relevant, and any reasonable person would understand.

I have committed my all to this job, and it was basically my life for the last year. In the last two quarters at work, I did 40 hours overtime, which I was promised I could take back in lieu. It also states this is what you can do in my contract but that it couldn't be carried over. The time off was initially accepted but then subsequently rejected. By that point, it was too late to take the time off before the end of the year and so I've lost out in that respect.

The company were happy for me to work flexibly when it came to doing the overtime, but it seems they were unhappy for me to work flexibly during my regular hours. A little contradictory if you ask me.

I am ready to leave, and I've decided to send my notice letter and will try and leave as amicably as possible. If any future employer asks, I will emphasise the extra time I put in when the team was under pressure due to loss of staff.