Single mum, being pushed out of my company

motorguy

Tiddlywinks wrote: »

Are you really sure that you have 'evidence'? What you believe is proof is not necessarily something that is verifiable, impartial etc.

I am not trying to beat you about the head but you need to understand that you're probably not in a position to look objectively at the issues.

Even the reason for change to your working patterns *is* a business driven decision. The new manager reorganised and couldn't see a way to accommodate non standard working patterns. Do you see how there can always be another way to view something?

So - stop dwelling on things that have happened and just look forward.

What do you want to happen? Is your job there viable?

If you want to resign speak to HR about your reference. Cite 'increased care responsibilities' as your reason for leaving. Use that with the job centre too... also referring to the toll on your health as a result of juggling too many balls.

This way, when you are ready to work again, you can honestly say that you took time out to address some family issues.

This may be a blessing in disguise.

I think thats key - just get out now and stop trying to find someone to "blame". Its not working out, move on.

motorguy

Kinderegg wrote: »

And nor are the two mutually exclusive.

Good to know you realise that.

k3lvc

I read this and wasn't going to respond until your latest display of attitude.

I've been in a similar position (albeit with significantly more service) where flexible working was withdrawn and anxiety followed. In my head I made a clear link between the two but would never received an absolute diagnosis that this was caused by work, only that work was a contributory factor. You have the complexity of a child (with an as yet undiagnosed illness) whereas I had young children and was expected to be travelling abroad at short notice.

If you want to leave you go as quietly as possible following a discussion with HR re reference - any other expectations you have re discrimination/compensation/false accusations need to be parked otherwise they'll feed the anxiety at a time when you need to be concentrating in a positive way on you and child.

You also need to rein in the attitude with those that are giving their time to help and see that the answers you're getting are broadly similar and there seems to be little agreement with your expectations.


At then end of the day the choice of action is yours

Jackieboy

Kinderegg wrote: »

Bully for you.

It was extraction of an impacted wisdom tooth and so my gums had to be cut open by an oral surgeon under sedation. Not that I should have to explain myself to a stranger.

That's still a very long time to have off for any sort of dentistry - lots of people are back at work after a fortnight having had their appendix out!

Kinderegg

k3lvc wrote: »

I read this and wasn't going to respond until your latest display of attitude.

I've been in a similar position (albeit with significantly more service) where flexible working was withdrawn and anxiety followed. In my head I made a clear link between the two but would never received an absolute diagnosis that this was caused by work, only that work was a contributory factor. You have the complexity of a child (with an as yet undiagnosed illness) whereas I had young children and was expected to be travelling abroad at short notice.

If you want to leave you go as quietly as possible following a discussion with HR re reference - any other expectations you have re discrimination/compensation/false accusations need to be parked otherwise they'll feed the anxiety at a time when you need to be concentrating in a positive way on you and child.

You also need to rein in the attitude with those that are giving their time to help and see that the answers you're getting are broadly similar and there seems to be little agreement with your expectations.


At then end of the day the choice of action is yours

I haven't displayed any attitude. It's very much been the other way around. But I guess we'll have to agree to disagree on that.

How did you manage the travelling abroad with young children at short notice? Did you have to take them out of school frequently? Or did your partner/parents stay with them at home? Were they both in good health? I'd be interested to know how you managed that, comparatively speaking.

Kinderegg

Jackieboy wrote: »

That's still a very long time to have off for any sort of dentistry - lots of people are back at work after a fortnight having had their appendix out!

How many is 'lots of people' exactly? Fair enough if that's the case, then clearly I was an exception. And if you're going to be pedantic, the NHS website quotes up to two weeks recovery for extraction of impacted wisdom teeth.

http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Wisdom-tooth-removal/Pages/Recovery.aspx

Guest101

Kinderegg wrote: »

And nor are the two mutually exclusive.

So it's unhelpful to understand how precarious your employment is?


Your employer could, dismiss you and when asked for reference say you "were dismissed on Y after only xx months service." How does that read?


Othe rpeople can give you some moral support etc, im just laying out the facts so you don't go in guns blazing and actually ruin any reference

Guest101

Kinderegg wrote: »

How many is 'lots of people' exactly? Fair enough if that's the case, then clearly I was an exception. And if you're going to be pedantic, the NHS website quotes up to two weeks recovery for extraction of impacted wisdom teeth.

http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Wisdom-tooth-removal/Pages/Recovery.aspx

A quote from the link you supplied:


Working and driving

It's usually recommended that you take a day or two off work after having a wisdom tooth removed.
You can drive immediately after the procedure if local anaesthetic was used, but you should avoid driving for at least 24 hours if a sedative was used, or 48 hours if the procedure was carried out under general anaesthetic.

Kinderegg

Guest101 wrote: »

A quote from the link you supplied:


Working and driving

It's usually recommended that you take a day or two off work after having a wisdom tooth removed.
You can drive immediately after the procedure if local anaesthetic was used, but you should avoid driving for at least 24 hours if a sedative was used, or 48 hours if the procedure was carried out under general anaesthetic.

Well, my recovery lasted two weeks, and I wasn't fit for work. I'm sorry if you don't agree with it.

Undervalued

Kinderegg wrote: »

I am aware of the two year rule for non discriminatory dismissals. But by my account this IS discriminatory on grounds of sex and disability discrimination by association, and has resulted in my health problems. A number of factors are at play here, which you seem to have missed or completely disregarded as 'they can just give notice'.

I don't know about the neutral reference policy, and is not stipulated anywhere in my contract. I'd have to speak to my HR.

Have you received any proper expert advice that suggests unlawful discrimination? Based just on what you have posted here it seems a long shot to say the least.

Even if it is, unless they were to dismiss you you would have to resign and claim constructive unfair dismissal which adds to the difficulty of making a claim.

You are unwilling to post full details here so I can only suggest you get proper one to one professional advice before proceeding further.

Regarding references, as others have said they can say anything they like as long as it is true and not deliberately misleading. And yes it is possible to deliberately mislead without straying from the truth! Or they could simply refuse any reference request which is generally interpreted as having nothing good to say.