Single mum, being pushed out of my company

steampowered

I personally would be using this time to weigh up my options and consider my next move.

I wonder if the best thing is to have a conversation with your current employer?

You could explain that you feel the job is making you feel unwell, in light of the challenges faced by the fact that you have a disabled child, and therefore you don't feel that you will be able to return. You can ask them if they would still be prepared to provide a decent reference if you were to resign. Hopefully, the employer would be willing to go along with this as it gets you off their books.

The approach route would be to threaten legal proceedings unless the employer gives you a settlement agreement which would include an agreed reference. Although an aggressive approach like that can easily backfire if you are not prepared to go through with legal proceedings and the employer calls your bluff.

Tiddlywinks

'Attitude'? Let me see...

Kinderegg wrote: »

Bully for you.

Kinderegg wrote: »

Thanks for your not very helpful advice.

Kinderegg wrote: »

How many is 'lots of people' exactly?

Now you're fixating on the two weeks for your tooth extraction - let it go.

Anxiety can be debilitating and can make you focus too much on the detail - you need to zoom out.

Lots of people have tried to help you - take the advice or leave it. Getting into an argument won't help.

Guest101

Kinderegg wrote: »

Well, my recovery lasted two weeks, and I wasn't fit for work. I'm sorry if you don't agree with it.

I didn't claim otherwise. I was surprised at the length of time off (im sure your employers were too!) and I gave my personal experience.


You provided a link which you said justified your time off and I simply pointed out that the actual advice is for a day or 2

Kinderegg

Tiddlywinks wrote: »

'Attitude'? Let me see...







Now you're fixating on the two weeks for your tooth extraction - let it go.

Anxiety can be debilitating and can make you focus too much on the detail - you need to zoom out.

Lots of people have tried to help you - take the advice or leave it. Getting into an argument won't help.

You're taking those quotes out of context. Perhaps I did misconstrue the previous poster's suggestion but, surely, if you're going to give suggestions you could at least exercise a level of tact.

Kinderegg

Guest101 wrote: »

I didn't claim otherwise. I was surprised at the length of time off (im sure your employers were too!) and I gave my personal experience.


You provided a link which you said justified your time off and I simply pointed out that the actual advice is for a day or 2

Yes, but it also says recovery time can be up to two weeks, which in my case, it was.

k3lvc

Kinderegg wrote: »

I haven't displayed any attitude. It's very much been the other way around. But I guess we'll have to agree to disagree on that.

Indeed we will - but please listen when I suggest that having been there you're not responding rationally - the world is not against you and trying to fight back whilst suffering with anxiety is not the way forward

Kinderegg wrote: »

How did you manage the travelling abroad with young children at short notice? Did you have to take them out of school frequently? Or did your partner/parents stay with them at home? Were they both in good health? I'd be interested to know how you managed that, comparatively speaking.

The plan was that I worked flexibly with limited travel booked x days in advance - this would allow Mrs K to take advantage of her more limited Flextime system at work to fit in nursery drop offs/collections etc.
We were at other end of country from relatives and but kids were pre-school and both healthy

Tiddlywinks

Kinderegg wrote: »

How many is 'lots of people' exactly? Fair enough if that's the case, then clearly I was an exception. And if you're going to be pedantic, the NHS website quotes up to two weeks recovery for extraction of impacted wisdom teeth.

http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Wisdom-tooth-removal/Pages/Recovery.aspx

Guest101 wrote: »

A quote from the link you supplied:

Working and driving

It's usually recommended that you take a day or two off work after having a wisdom tooth removed.
You can drive immediately after the procedure if local anaesthetic was used, but you should avoid driving for at least 24 hours if a sedative was used, or 48 hours if the procedure was carried out under general anaesthetic.

Kinderegg wrote: »

Yes, but it also says recovery time can be up to two weeks, which in my case, it was.

Now you see this is a great demonstration of how it is easy to use the same information (the NHS page) to 'prove' two different and opposite opinions - one that two weeks is unusual and the other that two weeks absence is acceptable....

Which brings us back to your opinion that you have evidence to demonstrate discrimination... I'd hazard a guess that your 'evidence' has more than one interpretation and you need to understand that.

Take a step back and take a breath - you are just winding yourself up by arguing semantics about something that has little relevance or impact on your most immediate concern.

Undervalued

Tiddlywinks wrote: »

Now you see this is a great demonstration of how it is easy to use the same information (the NHS page) to 'prove' two different and opposite opinions - one that two weeks is unusual and the other that two weeks absence is acceptable....

Which brings us back to your opinion that you have evidence to demonstrate discrimination... I'd hazard a guess that your 'evidence' has more than one interpretation and you need to understand that.

Take a step back and take a breath - you are just winding yourself up by arguing semantics about something that has little relevance or impact on your most immediate concern.

Exactly.

OP, you need to focus on the issues. There is no point in getting annoyed about anything they are doing (or not doing) unless it is actually unlawful. Just being "unfair" in every day parlance is completely irrelevant.

Bogalot

Tiddlywinks wrote: »

Take a step back and take a breath - you are just winding yourself up by arguing semantics about something that has little relevance or impact on your most immediate concern.

It would be helpful to the OP if others stopped picking on irrelevant facts. It wasn't the OP that made a big deal of the extraction, they have only responded to another poster that kept bringing it up.

Also, with regard to another poster that pointed out their child's condition had not yet been diagnosed, a diagnosis is not essential in determining disability for EqAct purposes. On the information given it is quite possible that the child would already be classed as disabled.

Tiddlywinks

Bogalot wrote: »

It would be helpful to the OP if others stopped picking on irrelevant facts. It wasn't the OP that made a big deal of the extraction, they have only responded to another poster that kept bringing it up.

MY response was clearly not to continue the argument but to demonstrate that there were clearly two sides to interpretation of the information... The OP is continuing the argument too.

Bogalot wrote: »

Also, with regard to another poster that pointed out their child's condition had not yet been diagnosed, a diagnosis is not essential in determining disability for EqAct purposes. On the information given it is quite possible that the child would already be classed as disabled.

This is, again, not that relevant to the OP as the company removed the flexible working arrangement for business reasons. That is not discrimination... a company is allowed to refuse requests if the 'indulgence' would impact negatively on the business.

Plus, as far as the definition of disability is concerned, a company would be perfectly reasonable to ask for some kind of proof to support a declared disability... otherwise anyone and everyone could just decide to use this area as a gateway to enhanced working conditions.