Autistic guy at university using his disability to get away with everything

Prinzessilein

Jlawson118 wrote: »

I've been friends and helped out with autistic people quite a lot over the last few years, but He's very autistic and he sometimes struggles to even cope with the simplest of daily activities, although he's a very clever guy, he just doesn't know it. I've always tried to give him an equal chance when it comes to projects, events and even extra curricular activities, but he always behaves very badly and angrily and then just blames his autism. 'struggling with the simplest of every day activities' is characteristic of Autism ...surely you know this as you have helped out with a number of people with Autism?

I understand that his autism plays a huge part of his behaviour towards people and general things is his autism, but he also has a boyfriend who encourages him to kind of cheat the system, misbehave and just blame his autism.How do you know that his boyfriend is encouraging this behaviour, could the boyfriend not just be helping they guy and telling him that he needn't feel too guilty at his 'different' behaviour?

He struggled from the day I first met him, but he seemed to get worse when he got with his boyfriend. Around this time last year, we started a show on the university radio station every Friday morning. Nobody else would do it with him so I wanted to be a friend and help him with that. But even on the first show he didn't know what he was doing, he panicked started banging the keyboards. And this was a weekly occurrence. His boyfriend used to come along for 'support' and he'd be worse. One week when his boyfriend wasn't there, he actually performed better! Although my girlfriend is Bulgarian, and on the air he made some offensive comment to her and then said "you can't hurt me because I'm disabled." His boyfriend is also banned from the student union for making racist and discriminative comments on the radio in the past.Did you report the comment? He does need to be told that this is inappropriate behaviour.

Anyway, I started avoiding the radio show towards the end. I started with a few health problems and troubles at home and I kept getting messages on Facebook from the girl who managed the radio station telling me all about his behaviour. Wht did she tell you about the behaviour and not a tutor....someone needs to be told so that the young man can receive the help he needs.

Anyway, as of September, it was a new year and fresh start. I'm on a media course and we started a group project to create a series of videos. He just casually joined our group and again, I wanted to be a friend and give him equal opportunities. At first we arranged a meeting with a lady we were doing some work with, we agreed that two of us should go, myself as team leader and my girlfriend who'd initially contacted this lady via email. He was kicking off that it's not equal if we're not including him in the meeting, and he storms off and gets angry and blames his autism once he's calmed down. Our tutor had specifically said no more than two people should go to these meetings, so it only made sense for us two to go, other group members didn't get the opportunity to go either. We've also been out filming things and because one of us has taken a shot that he doesn't like, it has a really negative effect on us when he storms off, even when it is for our benefit and he always has the chance to add more clips of his own to the collection. We're always encouraged to take more video shots than what's asked for because that's how it works in the industry, they can always be used for something else.He doesn't need ' equal opportunities' necessarily, he needs assistance to enable him to work and achieve equal results - and this needs to be seen to by the college...talk to a tutor

He's also quite smelly and arrives a few hours late to class and then blames it. His helper and our tutor try and tell him to stop going to bed at 4am in the moment, and he argues he can't because he's autistic. We've been out filming serious projects and we've left him with equipment so he can practice the night before, then we need the equipment that morning he doesn't turn up.
And last week, one guy from my group was saying that the computers went down and he smashed up a keyboard. His personal hygiene and timekeeping are both connected to his Autism, he doesn't just need to be told about it, he needs to be shown coping strategies...this is NOT your job, it needs to be dealt with by the college - who should have staff trained to deal with these issues.

Our tutor is extremely annoyed at him too. He tells us that he won't make it in the industry behaving like this all of the time, and doesn't even know why he's studying such a course, because he struggles a lot working with teams. He also knows his boyfriend and knows he's encouraging him into bad things, he also taught him a few years back. My tutor himself is open to the fact he also has autism. This sounds a tad inappropriate from the tutor....why is he discussing the young man's academic progress with you? Has the tutor referred him for help?

I haven't been able to explain half of his behaviour, but it's wrong to cheat the system and to constantly blame his disability. Our tutor has reported him to the disability office and they've had meetings with him I think. But nothing changes. I've just given him chances after chances because I want him to feel involved and he then just avoids these things. Okay, so his issues HAVE been reported to the relevant department....so step back , it is not YOUR problem

Like I've said, some of my closest friends are autistic and I've worked with them and been friends with them for years, never have I seen anything like this in my life! So you should be aware that every one with Autism is different

Apart from not working with him again (because sometimes I don't have a choice) is there any advice out there? Or similar situations of dealing with people like this in the workplace?

I don't want to sound harsh, clearly you want to help your fellow student....but really it is not your job. Report any inappropriate behaviour, and if he makes it impossible for you to do your work, then report this too....and then take a step back.

Jenniefour

Pollycat wrote: »

It sounds to me like the university or at least the lecturer is prioritising this person's needs above the needs of the rest of the group.
And that isn't fair - it's positive discrimination.

What is the opinion of the rest of your classmates?
Do they agree with you?
If they do, perhaps you should ask for a group meeting with the lecturer to voice your concerns.

Agree. It looks likely that whoever you've spoken to so far does not know how to manage this.

It sounds as though the student with autism isn't able to function quite well enough (and there's absolutely no reason why he should if it's beyond his capabilities) for his behaviour not to have a serious negative impact on the studies of his classmates - that is not discrimination or intolerance. The University have a duty of care towards all their students and they must find some way forwards. At the moment they are most certainly not meeting their duty of care towards yourself and other affected students, or the student with autism either.

OP - from what you describe you are not the only fellow student affected. Do speak to your tutor, ask for a group meeting right away - something needs to change here. If they seem reluctant/do nothing/not enough then ask for the complaints procedure - your complaint would not be about the student with autism but the University's failure to deal with this situation so that other students, including yourself, can get on undisturbed with your studies. You are paying fees for a service you are not able to properly receive because the current situation is detrimental to your education. The impact of the behaviour of the student with autism on his fellow class mates cannot be ignored because he has autism, that is not fair to anyone, including him.

Out,_Vile_Jelly

I work at a university and every year students doing group projects complain about the effort/ability of those they have to work with. Whether or not it's justified, the submissions are marked as individual efforts.

I suggest making a list of past incidents and noting the patterns- if he's persistently late then don't lend him stuff that's needed first thing in the morning. You may be able to see a pattern of places, people or items that cause issues (keyboards are mentioned more than once). Going forward keep a diary of incidents- factually and neutrally noting what happened and how it caused delays to your work. Don't take it personally if he "kicks off" or "storms off"- it is part of his disorder.

Tiddlywinks

AylesburyDuck wrote: »

*I thought as much, and of course he does, allowances have to be made for his Autism, it's his basic rights!

No, only REASONABLE adjustments should be made - sometimes though an individual just does not have the aptitude (even with extra support) to undertake the task

**He's not distracting you on purpose, Doesn't matter - the end result is the same at least the Uni have taken control of the situation by making sure extensions ARE GIVEN! And to be honest, of course its discrimination if he's kicked out, allowance DO have to be made. No it isn't - if he has been supported and given REASONABLE adjustments and he still falls below required standards then he should be treated just like any other struggling student. That includes being 'sacked' as a final measure.


*** I'm sure he'd rather not be getting his phone out to care for his partner, but that life, its what partners do :eek:

You call yourself a friend? Wow, really? A friend would probably read up on Autism more, because it's evident you really dont have a clue, sorry but you get ZERO sympathy from me.

I've added some points above (in red).

Being 'disabled' is not a 'get out of jail free card' you know? Just because certain behaviour is likely to be caused by a 'condition' does not make it acceptable for us to expect everyone else to make allowances above and beyond what's reasonable.

These students are there to learn - their grades and what they learn (or fail to learn because of a disruptive influence) will impact on their careers for years to come - why should they just have to suck it up.

The uni needs to grasp the nettle and deal with the behaviour - if, after support and intervention, no improvement occurs then it should be concluded that the individual just falls below the required standard.

That's just a fact of life - and better for the individual to discover this early on in life at uni than to get sacked from a job in the real world and live with the consequences.

Out,_Vile_Jelly

I suspect in their well-meaning keenness not to discriminate, the university has accepted a student with disabilities without properly assessing what support they'll need and how it will impact others on this particular type of course. If it were lecture-based Mathematics or Philosophy it would be much less of an issue, but a practical course involving lots of social interaction will pose specific issues for this kind of disorder. It's worth approaching the Disabilities Officer with a list of the problems that have arisen so they are more able to cope with different needs in future.

Tiddlywinks

OP - time to start looking out for yourself.

- Make an appointment with your tutor and briefly explain your concerns. Follow this up in writing (email is fine). Copy in the department head.

- Meet with the student counsellor / support team - explain your concerns and ask for their help in providing an advocate to assist you in taking this forward. Again, follow this up in writing.

When discussing this with the above groups, stick to the facts. XXX happened which resulted in YYY etc. No need to go into too much detail about the boyfriend etc. You want this to be as impartial and objective as possible. Stress the fact that this is abut how the actions of one individual are negatively impacting on your ability to perform and ask for their intervention. Make it clear that you expect their support in actively addressing these inappropriate behaviours.

Do not allow them to deflect you by using his condition as an excuse - point out that uni / college should be a place whch allows preparation for migration into the workforce and that this individual's actions (as they currently stand) would not be tolerated in the workplace so why should you have to tolerate them as an adult student?

Good luck.

WibblyGirly

This is why I hate group work at uni, fortunately my uni course has recognised people don't like being marked as a group so we do the group stuff as a learning exercise but none of it is marked, only individual work is.
It sounds harsh but is it possible to sort of drop him from the group? So the rest of you carry on, assume he isn't going to put much effort in and pick up the slack yourselves? I know it will mean more work for everyone else but at least you could try protect your grades more that way. I know you've been given extensions due to him being in your group but that just keeps the problem going, I always try avoid them as it just means more work builds up and I've only ever had 1 in my 3 years at uni.

AylesburyDuck

Tiddlywinks wrote: »

I've added some points above (in red).

Being 'disabled' is not a 'get out of jail free card' you know? Just because certain behaviour is likely to be caused by a 'condition' does not make it acceptable for us to expect everyone else to make allowances above and beyond what's reasonable.

These students are there to learn - their grades and what they learn (or fail to learn because of a disruptive influence) will impact on their careers for years to come - why should they just have to suck it up.

The uni needs to grasp the nettle and deal with the behaviour - if, after support and intervention, no improvement occurs then it should be concluded that the individual just falls below the required standard.

That's just a fact of life - and better for the individual to discover this early on in life at uni than to get sacked from a job in the real world and live with the consequences.

Yes, indeed they are called reasonable adjustments,
https://www.disabilityrightsuk.org/adjustments-disabled-students

Linked for balance

But what reasonable person would discriminate against someone at a disadvantage.
The uni are giving extensions for all, how is that putting them at a disadvantage!

Now you call it a get out of jail free card, while most reasonably minded folk would probably see someone making the best out of their bad situation.

He's trying to make something of his life, would you be equally as dismissive at him if he stayed at home and played the benefits games, i suspect you wouldnt.
It appears to me he's going to be damned if he does and damned if he doesnt.

Discrimination is a nasty thing, dont dress it up in posh frock and call it life because intolerance is a pigs ear and not a silk purse.

You do realise that disability in the workplace is also something adjustments are made for as well, this is 21 century after all.

Jackieboy

Out,_Vile_Jelly wrote: »

I work at a university and every year students doing group projects complain about the effort/ability of those they have to work with. Whether or not it's justified, the submissions are marked as individual efforts.

I suggest making a list of past incidents and noting the patterns- if he's persistently late then don't lend him stuff that's needed first thing in the morning. You may be able to see a pattern of places, people or items that cause issues (keyboards are mentioned more than once). Going forward keep a diary of incidents- factually and neutrally noting what happened and how it caused delays to your work. Don't take it personally if he "kicks off" or "storms off"- it is part of his disorder.

That isn't always the case. When I was last at university 15 years ago we got a group grade, regardless of each individual's contributions.

Tiddlywinks

AylesburyDuck wrote: »

Yes, indeed they are called reasonable adjustments,
https://www.disabilityrightsuk.org/adjustments-disabled-students

Linked for balance

But what reasonable person would discriminate against someone at a disadvantage.

It is NOT discrimination to expect a student on a degree course to perform satisfactorily (after adjustments have been made). A line must be drawn somewhere otherwise we'd be handing out degrees to everyone.
The uni are giving extensions for all, how is that putting them at a disadvantage! The individual is causing significant disruption to the group - nothing can compensate those impacted if it damages their ability to perform.

Now you call it a get out of jail free card, while most reasonably minded folk would probably see someone making the best out of their bad situation.

He's trying to make something of his life, would you be equally as dismissive at him if he stayed at home and played the benefits games, i suspect you wouldnt.
It appears to me he's going to be damned if he does and damned if he doesnt.

Discrimination is a nasty thing, dont dress it up in posh frock and call it life because intolerance is a pigs ear and not a silk purse.

You do realise that disability in the workplace is also something adjustments are made for as well, this is 21 century after all.

Your response just screams Political Correctness gone mad!

Oh, trust me, I DO understand disability issues in the workplace - I spent many years as a workplace anti bullying advisor and am a qualified workplace mediator. Disability issues and law were well covered in the training and used many times in practical application. Ooh, and unfortunately I am now disabled myself too. So, by your reasoning, I can do no wrong.

The law is there to 'level the playing field' and give equal access to goods and services.

This student should receive reasonable support (and additional time etc) to facilitate his studies. What he shouldn't get is the ability to unreasonably disrupt classes and fellow students and get a degree if his abilities are below the required standards.

That's just fair and equitable to all.

As an individual we all have our own levels of ability. Some of us face challenging physical or mental health conditions that require support.

If our ability does not equal our aspirations (even after reasonable support) then we need to change goals. That's just a fact of life.

This student is struggling - that is negatively impacting on his fellow students. If the uni is providing all reasonable support and he is still struggling then the course is not for him.