Dealing with debts and next of kin.

jay213

Malthusian wrote: »

From the description of his behaviour this doesn't surprise me at all.

Call the police, refuse all further contact with him (and the gf). I wouldn't speak to the people suggesting you give him money either. I don't know who they are or why they would make such an idiotic suggestion but it is unlikely they have your interests at heart.

If your only worry about violence is a criminal record then you should have little to worry about. Self-defence is legal and if you don't do anything to provoke him and avoid meeting him in a private place, then a criminal record is highly unlikely.

There was another sum of money that my mum gave to my pregnant sister to hold for her after she paid a bill for my brother when she went to hospital (the death was unexpected after being in there over a week and a few days before she was due to be released) This was £700, my mum said to use some for gas, electric and some shopping whilst she was in the hospital. But he also want's his cut from that money.

When he was at the house (I was still at work), him and his gf wanted a copy of the death certificate (to send to one of the utility companies apparently), along with him saying he want's his money tomorrow (today) and saying to in the presence of my other siblings that he's going to kick my door off and that he wants to fight me. My pregnant sister objected to this and he started threatening her saying "you want to take his side" and then getting in her face and saying "your face ain't pregnant" implying that he would hit her (and he has before about a year ago and we took her hospital)

The people who said to just pay him, know that he's not like a normal person that we are dealing with and feel that contacting the police will make him hell bound on seeking revenge on me somehow in a major way (he hates the police) and he has nothing to lose, he's been in and out of jail most of his life He's what you would describe as a psychopath, when he get's set off.

And the people advising are basically saying that they don't want to see me get hurt as, like I say he would be hell bent on paying me back by whatever means, he probably won't really care about the repercussions as he will feel justified in his own twisted way. They have said if you was dealing with a normal person, or somebody who was rational, or was reasonable then, of course tell him to just wait, or tell him he's getting nothing until after everything is sorted out but as that is not the case is putting your welfare at risk worth the £4-500, because we also used some of mums money to pay for refreshments at the wake, I imagine we have to put those back into my mums estate?

Also with regards to meeting him it's more than likely him and his gf will come to our house. So I'm wondering the best way to deal with it if he does attack me, as I know if the police get involved after he would probably try to say we had a normal fight, deny it or wriggle is way out of it somehow.

Mojisola

jay213 wrote: »

Also with regards to meeting him it's more than likely him and his gf will come to our house.

So I'm wondering the best way to deal with it if he does attack me, as I know if the police get involved after he would probably try to say we had a normal fight, deny it or wriggle is way out of it somehow.

If he comes to the house, don't open the door. If he starts shouting/kicking the door/continues to be a nuisance, phone the police.

Record him with cctv or on your phone for proof.

jay213

Mojisola wrote: »

If he comes to the house, don't open the door. If he starts shouting/kicking the door/continues to be a nuisance, phone the police.

Record him with cctv or on your phone for proof.

It might be hard to convince others in the house do that as basically everyone is scared of him. He would then blame any kick off on whoever didn't open the door e.g. it would be their fault that he did what he did etc.

His gf is also able to communicate and comes under the guise of helping and tries to make out that it's not the money my brother is upset about, but he's not going on about anything else AND nothing else has been mentioned. She says it just wants it to get sorted out and wants to see us all get along, basically split the money, don't worry about the debts they die with the person ( I know that's not the case).

-taff

But debts don't die with the person. They can't [usually] be passed on to anyone else, but the debts are payable by the estate of the deceased.

I understand the kind of person youre talkng about. Your choice really, either you fund him a sum of money ad pay back the debts yourself, or you phone the police when he turns up wanting something he can't have.

jay213

I'm just working it out and it looks like around £400. At Christmas I lent him £150 if I give him the money should I take my £150 back he originally said he was going to give it back roughly the third week of Jan or early February, but I don't plan to talk to him again after this after seeing how low he's willing to stoop at a time like this, plus he probably won't be talking to me either as everything that's happening will be my fault in his mind.

Well I guess I should since me or me and my other siblings will be paying the money back to the estate and that could be used towards that

Malthusian

jay213 wrote: »

It might be hard to convince others in the house do that as basically everyone is scared of him. He would then blame any kick off on whoever didn't open the door e.g. it would be their fault that he did what he did etc.

If there's a serious possibility that your housemates are cowardly enough to let someone into the house so he can assault you, then you need to get out of there. Find a new house, don't give him (or anyone else) the new address. Get a hotel or sleep on a friend's sofa in the meantime.

His gf is also able to communicate and comes under the guise of helping and tries to make out that it's not the money my brother is upset about, but he's not going on about anything else AND nothing else has been mentioned. She says it just wants it to get sorted out and wants to see us all get along, basically split the money, don't worry about the debts they die with the person ( I know that's not the case).

This is why I recommended cutting off contact with the gf exactly the same as the brother.

This is not really a problem for an Internet forum that deals with queries about wills and inheritance. This is a matter for the police. You should be telling them all this, not us. They can tell you what to do to protect yourself from violence.

Yorkshireman99

If he has made threats you may be able to persuade the police to take out an order against him. It will not do any harm to go and ask them.

Savvy_Sue

jay213 wrote: »

because we also used some of mums money to pay for refreshments at the wake, I imagine we have to put those back into my mums estate?

I don't believe so, as long as the refreshments were reasonable - I'm guessing it wasn't caviar and champagne?

squirrelcyril

Sounds like your brother is more interested in the money that what is right or wrong.

jay213

Thanks for the advice and information so far. Things have cooled down a bit for now and my brother has become more understanding of dealing with this after going through things with his gf.

Now the next things I'm trying to work out are.

Am I the person who has to officially deal with my mums estate? and if I am what is it that makes me the main person officially, is it because I registered her death or is it because I informed the bank of her death and they transferred her funds to my account?

I ask this as I'm paranoid about unexpected things popping up in the future or doing things wrong and getting chased in the future. I have not gone to court or anything to get any sort of title.

My main intention with regards to the bank was to get money towards the funeral costs, and originally they said to bring in an invoice from the funeral directors which I was happy with, but a week later they sent me a letter saying that my mums accounts had been closed and transferred to me as they asked for someones details whilst filling in / signing bereavement paperwork.

The only money that has been touched was for the funeral and then about a further £250 towards costs for the wake/funeral. My mums estate will likely be insolvent and I think the two boded below will apply to her, not sure about the last one listed as that could apply to catalogues I guess? but they say you go down the list before moving to the next so she will be insolvent when reaching "unsecured creditors".

Secured creditors
The funeral expenses
Testamentary expenses
Preferred debts and Preferential debts
Unsecured creditors - e.g. debts to local and central government. utility bills, bank loans, credit and store card debts.
Interest due on unsecured loans.
Deferred debts

If I have to deal with this how do I go about working out who to pay? Looking at her final statement she was paid by DWP on the day she died and then 3 days later by 2 different departments. I've phoned both but they just said we would have to wait to receive letters in the post. ther was also child tax credit received 3 days after her death we phoned them and they said we would have to wait for some sort of declaration that's produced at the end of the tax year (which could be received from April - July).

Then there's a council tax bill, that asked for a small payment last month that's not been paid yet, but the total was around £650. That's the only new bill since my mums death that I think we have had, so do I pay this or not? and then there's utility bills, my brothers gf phoned them so I'm not sure what's going on with that but I think that was over £2000.

So, I'm thinking if I start paying these bills for my mums estate, all the money will be gone by the time I even get the letters from the DWP, HMRC, etc.... and then, if that's the case what happens?