How do you keep yourself positive/motivated when single/dating?

fitnessguy1

i don't often online date. i look better in person than in photos, so one of the reasons i don't like online dating. however, when i did online dating it was fun and had some good interactions.

i did meet a very nice woman, a nurse, cute in her early 20's, but my own insecurities at teh time ruined it because i never met up with her. i had a few other nice interactions too, but it didn't really go anywhere as i wasn't really feeling the online dating scene.

i found i would get more attention (smiles, mutually held out eye contact etc) during the day, so i just started saying hi to the women who showed interest in me. i have found more success through doing this than any time i spent on online dating.

when you think about it, the time you spend chatting to some woman online for an hour or more, you could be spending talking to women offline.

if you go gym, introduce yourself (sometimes what i do) and go from there, or in the supermarket if a woman you like catches your eye be a little cheeky and mention what she has in her basket, for e.g. if she has a load of veg and generally healthy food, say to her "oh no, you're not one of those health nuts are you? *pointing at her groceries*" flirt a little and chat, then maybe you might get teh number.

you gotta think outside the box, pal.

mariposa687

I agree with other posters that the best way is to be happy being single.

I've started talking to a few people on dating sites as I finally feel ready for it. It's frustrating when people stop talking to you or you do on dates and find out they aren't really for you. It is also better to be honest with people you aren't interested in. Sure it's disappointing for them but it will allow them to move on and potentially find someone where it is mutual.

DO NOT give up your interests/hobbies for anyone. I learned this the hard way & as a consequence have had to spend a lot of time re-building things. It's taken a lot longer than I'd have wanted but for once I don't mind being single half as much as I did even a few months ago. I'd rather be single than dating someone for the sake of it.

jamiehelsinki

mariposa687 wrote: »

I agree with other posters that the best way is to be happy being single.

I've started talking to a few people on dating sites as I finally feel ready for it. It's frustrating when people stop talking to you or you do on dates and find out they aren't really for you. It is also better to be honest with people you aren't interested in. Sure it's disappointing for them but it will allow them to move on and potentially find someone where it is mutual.

DO NOT give up your interests/hobbies for anyone. I learned this the hard way & as a consequence have had to spend a lot of time re-building things. It's taken a lot longer than I'd have wanted but for once I don't mind being single half as much as I did even a few months ago. I'd rather be single than dating someone for the sake of it.

I think the majority would have a few conversations going on at once so it's not that surprising when they sometimes go quiet, I find it funny when you exchange a few messages, it goes quiet for weeks and then they start messaging again. (You don't feel like the reserve option one bit!)

I think internet dating is great though, I'm not shy but always feel awkward approaching women in every day life because it seems sleazy and you never know how they will react. With these apps you know messages are generally welcome, so you avoid any embarrassment. ( I'm not sure women appreciate this as generally they seem to let the guy make the first move and risk looking like a fool, so they have no idea what it's like to just approach a stranger and ask them for a number.)

catoutthebag

After my OP, date went really well,things looking up for now:j

PeacefulWaters

catoutthebag wrote: »

After my OP, date went really well,things looking up for now:j

Did you kiss him? Snog? Fumble?

catoutthebag

PeacefulWaters wrote: »

Did you kiss him? Snog? Fumble?

Well, I'm a bloke! And we talked for hours and seemed to get on

jamiehelsinki

From his opening post I thought he was female as well.

On the subject of paid for sites. The one I think of first (match), I joined but haven't paid whigh means i can search but not message . When I search there isn't really much choice available and the profiles are very picky.

On the subject of pof, I have had a few first messages off women this weekend, it's always a good sign when they contact you first.

catoutthebag

I can see what you mean by the non gender specific first post, but the following posts did mention girls, and I assume that there are more hetero than homo sexual!

Nice on on pof. Strange site, full of stranger folk, I rarely use it!

prosaver

Jamiehelsinki wrote: »

From his opening post I thought he was female as well.

On the subject of paid for sites. The one I think of first (match), I joined but haven't paid whigh means i can search but not message . When I search there isn't really much choice available and the profiles are very picky.

On the subject of pof, I have had a few first messages off women this weekend, it's always a good sign when they contact you first.

not trying to be a misery guts but some girls work on the site...

me? I cant be bothered anymore must be going through the male menopause..
maybe it will wear off after a couple of weeks or when i get bored...


could get a motorbike instead:D

jamiehelsinki

prosaver wrote: »

not trying to be a misery guts but some girls work on the site...

me? I cant be bothered anymore must be going through the male menopause..
maybe it will wear off after a couple of weeks or when i get bored...


could get a motorbike instead:D

I get a few weeks like that sometimes, other weeks my eyes are everywhere.