Frump to Fab 2017 - A Whole New World

maddiemay

Sugarbaby
Best wishes for tomorrow from me too, I hope that you also had a good time this evening.

shanks77

Hope all goes well with today Sugarbabe xx

sugarbaby125

Hello Ladies,

My return to work was straightforward yesterday. Thank you for your well wishes. I was really tired coming home, but I think that was also the infection that I am fighting not just being back at work.

The antibiotics are working already, as I am not feeling anywhere as ill as I was previously feeling.

I have lost the pound I had gained in weight, so now it should just be a slow and steady loss now that I am back at work. Work is not just important for the financial gain for me, it is even more important to my physical health and to keeping my mental health in check.

ScarlettMcCain

Glad to hear that everything went well on your return to work Sugarbaby and that you are feeling better, hope you continue to improve

LL, it's been lovely to hear about your winter plans, and forthcoming holiday excitement of course!! Do you have much left to get for your holiday wardrobe?

I would love to sneak off dancing for an evening maman!! (In fact I would love to have an evening out, at all!). A friend with a DC the same age as mine suggested that we join the local gym and go maybe once a week when the kids are in bed. I really miss the gym but firstly OH wouldn't pay the £20 per month, and secondly he would moan and groan if I seemed to be having any sort of social life..... he's thought about joining the gym himself but never gets round to it, although he will spend at least three hours a night in front of the TV! The boys are enjoying preschool though which should give me a couple of hours a week to go for a run once they're settled in; I'm really struggling with my weight and think some exercise would help - I walk a lot (average 16K steps per day) but it doesn't seem to be enough. I cut out all cake, chocolate etc last week and actually put on 2lb, not sure where to go from here.....

I'm still bearing in mind the suggestion to have a 'sick day' where OH has to look after the kids. I shall wait till his parents are on holiday though so he HAS to do it himself! I think part of the reason he's so rubbish with helping with the boys and round the house is that he doesn't see childcare as work - he's never looked after them on his own for more than an hour, let alone tried to do all the housework at the same time, so in his opinion it's easy and why would I want/ need a break?! Most of my evenings are spent catching up with the housework I can't do with them around, and as DS2 has suddenly become a very bad sleeper, I spend most of the day absolutely shattered and very grumpy. OH has developed gout as well and used that as an excuse to do zero round the house for a few weeks! I have no doubt that it's very painful but he still managed to do everything that HE wanted to. Funnily enough the lady I spoke to in Holland & Barrett about it told me that it's on the increase, as we have a lot of risk factors in today's society - heavy/ binge drinking, obesity, lots of red meat eating, etc.

In better news, my debts are almost paid off - I used my redundancy payment to give to my debt management company to offer to my creditors - a lot of them have settled for 50% of the original debt. It would be a load off my mind to know that everything is done and paid for, even if it leaves me with a bad credit rating for a few years.

Have an amazing time in Poland maman! The closest I've come to that is visiting Prague in March when it was very chilly indeed. Having said that life goes on over there when it snows, not like here when it grinds to a halt after a dusting!

maman

Good to hear from you ruby. We were in Prague in March too but the weather was kind to us so I only needed my heavy coat at night. One tip I discovered accidentally: I'd taken a pair of leggings to wear in my hotel room relaxing in the early evening. I found that by wearing them under my jeans it made them draught proof for going out. I'm going to pack a thermal pair for next week.

On the weightloss, while I'm not knocking exercise as it has it's place for all sorts of reasons, it really is food and drink that will make the biggest difference. It really is a case of calories in and out and you have to do masses of exercise to lose just a few calories. I'd persevere with cutting out/back on the cakes and biscuits and try to base your food around lean meat/fish/eggs and loads of vegetables. Go easy on the carby veg like potatoes and bread and cereal and pay attention to how you cook things. While I love watching cookery programmes for entertainment I always cringe when they add loads of oil and cream to the recipes.


:mad: to your DH resenting you having a gym membership but it's not for me to tell you to find £20 from the food budget and brazen it out.;)


Great news about the debts.:)


So pleased to hear the antibiotics are kicking in sugarbaby.:)


Back soon.:)

lessonlearned

Good afternoon lovely ladies....

Grey, grim and miserable here.....a perfect excuse to just potter about, tidy out some cupboards and tackle the ironing.

SUgarbaby....glad to see you are slowly picking up again. I do think It takes longer to bounce back as we get older. I’ve still got stomach problems. Partly my own fault because when my friends were here I did relax the dietary restrictions a bit too much and I am paying for it now.

I have decided to be really strict - no grains at all, very little dairy and I have switched to lactose free milk and cheese, only for occasional use in cooking not eating “raw”. No nightshades (potatoes, tomatoes, peppers etc) and no alcohol. Back on the IBS meds and silicon gel. If that doesn’t sort me out then it’s time to take me out and shoot me.:o

Well let me tell you about my little experiment.

I joined a dating website.:rotfl: I lasted about 12 hours before I cancelled and deleted all my details.

What can I say .......there are some seriously strange men out there (and a few women).

My inbox was overwhelmed.

I just haven’t the time nor frankly the inclination to sort the wheat from the chaff. There appeared to be one or two nice genuine men - one gave me his email address and a couple have asked me to stay in touch but tbh they live too far away really so I didn’t take their details. However, the bulk of them were absolute no hopers, losers and weirdos......

Now I am not shallow enough to judge someone by their photo - I am terribly unphotogenic myself and I realise how difficult it is to write a profile about yourself..... but honestly some of them just made no effort whatsoever.

Any guys reading this.......if you are going to try and “sell” yourself on a dating website, at least clean yourself up, have a shave etc and do make a bit of an effort with your profile.

A selfi with your unmade bed or dirty dishes in the background......:rotfl: and one sentence saying how caring and fun you are, and that you are loooking for kisses and cuddles:rotfl: please!!!!

If someone can’t be bothered to “market” themselves properly and make a bit of an effort other than clicking some “like” button that sends an automatic message that says “Hi would you like to chat”........well no wonder they can’t get dates.

I did get some very nice compliments from a few guys who seemed nice enough and genuine but there were an awful lot of cheesy and sometimes somewhat tasteless innuendos and a couple of downright sleazy remarks. I’m no prude but really??? from a complete stranger???

Now I am all for a bit of flirting and a bit of cheeky chatting but do they really think to impress a woman with their Caveman level of courtship.

I think I’ll stick to more traditional methods of meeting people. I can see why dating internet sites exist in this crazy world but bring back proper dance venues and pubs where people can actually talk.

“Are you dancing”
“Are you asking”
“”I’m asking”
“I’m dancing”

:rotfl:

Or even as we might say here “ey up me duck”

Or in the immortal words of my husband “love the boiler suit, did you crochet your own shoes”. ....it was a jumpsuit and they were lace patterned flats.....:rotfl: but hey at least it was original.

Ruby.....sorry but I just want to slap your husband........He is a fool (and yes a Neanderthal)

I don’t mind non domesticated men, it’s not a crime but really he is taking you for a ride.

As you know my husband was useless around the house, but he understood and respected all I did for him and our boys. He may have been ineffectual with housework, cooking etc but he did what he could to help in his own funny little way. He was a devoted husband and he was marvellous as a father. He would stay up half the night with them if needed so I could get some rest and he would still stagger into work next day, half dizzy from lack of sleep.

That’s what loving husbands and fathers do.

As for begrudging you £20 for gym membership. That is truly shocking. Words fail me.

I will ask you one question........do you love this man.

If you do then you have to make him appreciate you, it’s up to you to make him wake up and smell the coffee. He has to get up of his @rs@ and help you. He has to open his eyes, his mind and his heart.

As for his gout.....sorry but it’s self inflicted. Time he got up off that sofa.

Are you really going to play nursemaid to a man who takes you for granted so badly and who shows you so little courtesy and has so little respect for you. You have two babies, you don’t need a third.

Sorry I know I am being horribly blunt and rather rude but I am just so angry on your behalf.

I know I devoted 9 years of my life to caring for my sick husband but not once did he take it for granted. I did it out of love and he appreciated every tiny little thing I did for him. Even so it was bloody hard work, it was tough physically and emotionally. I stuck it out but by golly have I paid a high price.

My husband adored me and I repaid his devotion and adoration a thousandfold but even so it was the hardest thing I have done in my life. Not sure I could go through it again. One of the reasons I backed away from John 1 was that nice as he was I could tell he was looking for a “wife to care for him”.

Even Stephen Hawkins first wife gave up in the end......

Don’t be a martyr......don’t throw yourself away on man who gives every appearance of not giving a fig.

sugarbaby125

Hello Ladies,

I had a lovely night at Karaoke last night. I sang:

Fever by Peggy Lee

It's Now or Never and Return to Sender by Elvis

Lean On Me by Bill Withers

Hurt So Good by Susan Cadogan


There were only 3 women who were willing to sing and one of the singers left after she had sang a couple of songs, so then it was just me and my friend. I had such a good laugh with my friend.

I am continuing to feel better, but I am not yet 100%. I am well enough to make plans for the weekend. My daughter and I are going to Reggaeoke at The Ritzy on Saturday and on Sunday I am off to Karaoke in Lewisham.

Ruby, unfortunately I had a similar husband to you in terms of his mindset about who looks after the children and does the housework. The best advice I can give you is that if he continues with this behaviour and his lack of respect of you and your personal needs you will definitely find that this will slowly erode the Love that you have for your husband.

Ruby start taking care of yourself and planning for your future where it will be just you and your sons while you are still trying to make the best of your marriage.

You Ruby, are a very important person in your own right, you are a very special and capable woman who every day is showing that you have reserves of strength that make you an amazing woman. Never sell yourself short. If you ever take the final step in the future and start Divorce proceedings, you will surprise yourself in how resolute you will be and how strong you will be to safeguard your future and your sons future.

For now Ruby, take baby steps in asserting your right to have time away from your parenting and housework and leave your husband to muddle through with his sons. They are equally both of your children and you need him to start stepping up now. It is important that he start to make strong bonds with his sons, he can not leave it until it is too late to get to know his own sons. Time is of the essence, he has already missed out on so much with his sons even though he does not realise that right now.

sugarbaby125

Hello LL,

How very brave of you to try a dating website.I loved your detailed descriptions of what happened over the space of only 12 hours of your life on a dating website. Some of it was sad and some of it was really funny, so thank you for sharing your dating exploits.

I would never ever go there myself, just not my cup of tea. I prefer to meet men as I go about my normal life.

I do not find at age 55 that I take longer to get over any illnesses. It was just that in this instance I thought I had some strain of flu and it was only when my symptoms would not improve with over the counter medication and lots of fluids and rest that my Doctor realised that it was far more likely that I had a bacterial infection. I have already had my flu injection some weeks ago, as it is even more important for me to have the jab than before my Heart condition materialised. Normally it would only take me a few days to get over a cold or the flu when I have had my flu jab. Considering how many health issues I am currently dealing with, it is lucky for me that my body is not just coping well, it manages to allow me to have a normal life and also to not show any toll outwardly that will make other people realise that I am not enjoying good health.

It will always be gratifying that I am regularly told that I look anywhere from early 30's to age 40. It does help that even though I laugh an awful lot, I have no lines, not even fine lines.

lessonlearned

Hello Everyone

Well never one to give up without a fight I have joined another dating website. :rotfl: watch this space.

John 1 is a member so I’ve emailed him to assure him I’m not stalking him should he stumble across my profile. :rotfl:

I am not building up my hopes of a big romance (although never say never ha ha) just hopefully a few dates with some nice men. I am definitely not husband hunting but neither I am looking for casual sex, just a nice man to spend some time with.

I think the site I’ve joined seems better organised and people are “matched” -ok admittedly by computer so probably not very reliable but I think it’s better than wading through literally hundreds of messages and mug shots.

I agree SUgarbaby....much nicer to just meet someone on a day to day basis but I’ll give the website a whirl. What have I got to lose (except my sanity - another day like yesterday and I’d go ga ga.

I too always looked at least a decade younger than I am (good genes) but the years of caring took their toll on my looks. However I think I look better now than I have done in years.

Sorry if that sounds conceited but people are telling me how well I look so that’s a good sign. I certainly look a lot less strained and haggard and my skin tone and condition is much improved. Sleep, water and a bit of dedicated skin care seem to be paying dividends.
My hair is still rather thin and whispy, hopefully it will improve eventually.

Beautiful day here, have been Christmas shopping this morning. Just had lunch and now going to go out for a walk. Still working on my step count.

Hope you are all well.

maman

Nothing ventured, nothing gained with the dating sites LL. Like you said, you're mindset changed after having male company on the cruise so why not give it a whirl. Good Luck.:)


The fact that the weather has turned colder is putting my mind towards what to pack for Poland. It was difficult to imagine being cold when the sun was blazing down. I've got a good idea as I'm sure it will be similar to Prague and Budapest in March. I bought myself some cheap gloves today (in Bon Marche of all places, not a shop I often frequent) as I wanted black ones as an alternative to my leather ones.



I also went into Peacocks. I used to browse there regularly until the local store closed down but there's now a small one in the city centre. I wanted a hooded top, more of a cardigan than a proper hoodie, just as a layer so I can put the hood up when needed. The top I bought is grey and cuddly and actually loungewear but I liked the fact it had a zip. Amongst a lot of stuff that didn't appeal they had some great knitwear and some very nice evening tops but I really don't think I need more.:o


This is a busy week but in tonight. Looking forward to lazing about and feeling cosy.:D