From debt to freedom...

Kitten868

HSL you always amaze me. I do not know where you get the energy. I could not do all you do. I love the sounds of all your walks. 
I'm sorry you are being caused stress by ex. Given everything you have on your plate you are always so positive and make so much joy for your family. I think you must be such a happy go lucky person. It must be so challenging not to let his behaviour overwhelm you but you never do. I really hope we are reaching the final stages and the judge tears him a new one. 
Your moves on debt and savings are also awe inspiring. Keep up the amazing work wonder woman xxxx

Cherryfudge

What a lovely walk - there are so many wild flowers at the moment and as ever you are ahead of us! I haven't seen any foxgloves yet this year but there are huge clouds of Queens Anne's Lace.
I hope the challenges are easier than anticipated and you get some joys in amongst them.

Sun_Addict

I had to look up Queen Anne’s Lace and I know it as Cow Parsley and yes it’s out in abundance right now. Hopefully it won’t be too much longer before you’re finally rid of that toxic ex 🙏

Spendless

Earlier this week as I listened to more travel abroad chaos, I thought about you saying you were going to stick to lesser known beaches and think that was the right thing as it looks likely holidaying at home is going to be more popular. Especially since you're a large household with many of you heading in different directions each day, and some of you continuing that during the school hols too. If you fly to another country you're tested going and coming back, if you travel to another part of England you've no idea.

Honeysucklelou2

Thank you Spendless, Kitten868, Cherryfudge, SA & Parkyp.

Spendless - apparently Covid rates have risen by 800% in my area, according to the news this evening. Definitely time to stick to the lesser known beaches!

It was a busy week last week. I suddenly realised that between Job 1 and Job 2, I’m doing what most people consider to be full time hours! I’ve been able to pay off another £30 from Debt 4 although I do confess to spending some of Job 2’s wages to take the youngest 3 to the cinema to see Peter Rabbit 2. I have to say I was impressed with the cinema’s Covid precautions. Seats are booked in advance and lots of space between groups of people. The children enjoyed it 🙂.

I found out at the weekend that DS1 and DD2 are moving out and into the ex’s house, which is now tenant free.  I would have preferred to have heard it direct from them ☹️. To be fair DS 1 has wanted to live with his dad for the last couple of years but when I’ve asked about it, it has always been a “No, it’s not possible.” I’m trying not to be cynical but it is somewhat coincidental that this has come about now that the consent order is in sight. Since both DS1 and DD2 are over 18, I know it’s absolutely up to them where they live and if they had gone to uni, they would have flown the nest before now, but 2 at once has knocked me a bit. I know it must sound silly but I have spent so long living quite a fast paced  life, trying to juggle everything, especially the multitude of tasks that go with keeping a large household going, it had just felt so odd contemplating a less busy household. 

They will be in the same area. I think the ex will be living there too, which presents it’s own issues. At the weekend, I opened the door, thinking that just the older children were home given the cars outside and was taken aback to see the ex sat in the kitchen. He is now able to walk to the house, so the warning  presence of his car is no longer there😧. 

The pesky molluscs have eaten so many of my plants😡😡😡.  I’m not keen on using slug pellets as I’d hate the many melodious blackbirds to eat them by mistake. Suffice to say that I will need to be doing 2nd sowings of quite a few varieties. 

I did manage a walk this evening, just around the lanes with the elderly lurcher and a couple of the children. The maize has been planted in the fields in rows about 75cm apart. As you look closely, you can see the lines of maize growing, which collectively make a fresh green hue, like a carpet covering the field!! Some of the fields are a yellowy green  as the grass has been cut for silage. The wrapped bales are mounting for winter. As we passed one field we counted a dozen rabbits nibbling the grass, not in the least bit perturbed by their human audience. 

Parkyp

Awe you will feel lost with two kids gone probably feel worse that they are going to live with ex because of what he’s putting you through. You will still be kept busy enough with the younger kids lol. One good thing though now the tenants are gone then surely your other kids can go to his house now rather than going home and finding him sitting in kitchen 🤷🏻‍♀️. 

It’s nice to treat kids so a trip to the cinema is money well spent. 

savingholmes

Walks sound lovely. Great debt repayment progress. Sorry about ex situation

Cherryfudge

Sending hugs. It's hard when they move out and all you can do is keep channels of communication as open as possible.

I found with mine that they not only moved out, they eventually came back, generally bringing 'other halves' who are now part of the family. Of course they have to go in order to come back, but the house goes through phases of busy and phases of quiet, and sows the seeds of the busy households of the future. It's odd letting go of being at the hub as you've known it, but it will give you time with the younger ones that the older ones had when they were little.

Spendless

Oh Good grief HSL, that's one I never saw coming. I had paid scant attention tot he ex's rental property though (more intrigued by where he's been living these past years!)  Yes, I'm afraid I'm cynical of motives too. At the point assets are divided up, it's hard not to think there's a correlation and if an order to sell the rental property comes about, then you will be put in a moral dilemma about the tenants there even if the legal system says you don't need to take them into account. Being within walking distance isn't great either, because even if ex doesn't live with them, he can presumably park his car there now and wander round to yours. I agree though, if he has an address he is at he can have the younger ones there to visit. Just thinking this isn't another angle to ensure he doesn't have them over night is it by occupying 2 bedrooms with older adult siblings (3 bed place by any chance?) 

I also hate to be the one to fetch this up, but from a previous post, you ask the 3 eldest just to contribute jointly from their wages to the 25% of the council tax bill due to you losing the single person discount. Once DS1 and DD2 move out, then that responsibility of covering costs will end up with DD1, until she becomes a student again (in September)? I've also forgotten what you've said about your latest yr11 leaver's plans, if he's continuing in education fine, if not will him working even in an apprenticeship mean 100% CT is due. I don't know if an under 18 working not in education counts or not. Like I say I feel awful flagging this but the council will be on the ball with the bill. They sent one to my son's student address because one of his housemates graduated and the bill was due from the day after till the end of that month 2 weeks later. They gave very little notice about it, cue a lot of panic in their household over the bill.

Oh bless you, with thoughts of a household with 4/5  'children' in it as 'less busy' . I agree though they'll still turn up and probably with more people. My son has remained in his student digs most of the time since lockdown1, but when he does return he fetches his housemates with him who for reasons of parental illness and estrangement haven't returned to their family homes. So I've had them in the summer, Xmas, Easter and most recently DS plus 1 during May half term. 

I haven't been to the cinema but have the theatre and that's how you describe too. Plenty of steps in place. We went to watch a West End show because someone DD knows their little sibling was in before Christmas. Show closed the night we watched though as London went into tier3. Was so strange to experience, arriving when it was tier 2 with the 'freedoms' of the time that gave, staying overnight and waking in Tier3 with little to do other than escape home! 

Sun_Addict

I’m shocked at them moving out too. It really does sound as though your ex has a hidden agenda, makes me wonder what he’s up to. Just what you don’t need him being closer.