From debt to freedom...

janb5

I was just thinking as you have done all the spade work and he has dug his feet in ( forgive the mixed metaphors!) then he should shoulder the cost for the fresh valuations..., you know `revenge is a dish best served cold!`!

Honeysucklelou2

Thank you Janb5 and SA - interesting idea Janb5, hadn’t thought about that.

Well I didn’t make a cake in the end. DD2 asked if we could go out for breakfast, so I took her to a local farm shop and we had an English breakfast.  One of those moments where the budget is stretched to almost snapping point, but desperately wanted to give her the thing she’d asked for. She had worked hard throughout 2019 and saved hard because she had planned to travel to a particular country and spend her birthday there having a holiday but of course, with Covid, that hasn’t been possible, so her sisters and I have tried to theme our gifts based on that country and hope we have been able to distract  her from disappointment .
After breakfast the only place she wanted to go was on a cliff top, so we walked for a few miles on the coastpath. We didn't have time between the school runs to explore the coast paths further afield but happily settled for a local one. It was really calm out to sea today, with good  visibility. We could pick out various headlands that we had walked previously. At one point the cliff path opened out into a meadow area which had been recently cut, so we had the smell of the ocean mixed with the smell of the grass!  Interestingly the coast path was the busiest I’d seen it all year. We walked back to the car park past hedges absolutely loaded with the biggest blackberries I’ve seen this year. Frustratingly I hadn’t brought a pot with me, so I’m hoping to go back tomorrow and pick them!

DD1 has kindly contributed to the groceries this week. This month I have been able to get 25% of the council tax paid by the adult children. This is huge progress.

Honeysucklelou2

Been trying  to get my mind around the new rules. As a household we are over 6, so we are allowed to be together in home and garden. My parents can’t come to visit us but I can visit them as long as I only take 3 of the children 🤔🤔🤔. Not sure about the rules about the ex visiting the children...do one of us have to go out?? Or will he have to make other arrangements??  I’m veering towards the making other arrangements...

Cherryfudge

I would certainly veer towards making other arrangements. After all, if he were infectious, he'd risk infecting all of you, whereas if he, for instance, takes the children out two at a time, a smaller percentage of your household is exposed to risk.
How nice that you all got themed gifts for your daughter's birthday! It's worth stretching the budget sometimes, and if you get the blackberries today, you have the basis of another pudding for free - so perhaps in this and similar ways you can recoup some costs. I wonder if there's anything besides slow gin that you can do with sloes? It seems to be a good year for them, too.

Drawingaline

I imagine the rules for non resident parents will be the same as before, in that they are excluded from the minimum numbers. However I would be inclined to be firm. Give me an address or you can't come over. Otherwise how do you know his circumstances regarding who he is mixing with? And I imagine the rules are not that he spends time at yours, but the children move back and forth between residences. 

Spendless

Hi HSL
Just been having a catch up. The rule of 6 has been bothering me all week, my MIL is terminally ill with Cancer and though this rule doesn't apply to a service at the crem, it applies to any wake afterwards. No idea how we tell people they can't attend and which ones.
Also been hearing from my ex workmate, had a baby earlier this year, family and friends unable to see baby for weeks. She has to change her Christmas plans and agai wonders which relatives to say can't come because 2 babies make it 8.
And then I read your ponder over whether this can stop the ex coming round and you gave me the biggest chuckle I've had in days if he can't.  

Honeysucklelou2

Thank you Spendless, DAL and Cherryfudge. I did point out the new rules to the ex. His response was that he wouldn’t bother coming. I don’t believe it for a second, but at least I have highlighted it to him.

It has been a very busy day. The school run takes over an hour on my days off, so I had a couple of hours before I started my first shift at job no 2. I had expected to start on Wednesday but I was asked about today and since it was an easy shift to do without any need for childcare and no impact  on the children, I was happy to start earlier than expected. Then it was straight from the job to the school run part 2, and then to an online evening meeting, so am ready to slump now! I think I have definitely done more steps today by dint of job no 2. 

Yesterday was quite busy too, with lots of taxiing children to various places. I got some jobs done such as mowing the lawn and lots of washing while the weather was so favourable for drying the washing. In the evening I went to a church service. It was the first time I’ve been to a service since the beginning of March. I’d had to pre-book a  0ace in advance. It was lovely on such a hot day to appreciate the coolness inside the church. Every other pew was roped off and one person sat in each pew. Everything was on a screen so no need to touch anything. The hardest part was not being able to sing. It’s quite a big part of most church services but we could listen to the musicians even if we couldn’t join in.

The rest of the week will be about figuring out and getting this new routine sorted out. This is the first week that everyone is at school at their new normal times and not in a phased in timing, so mornings are proving to be quite hectic. Hopefully it will become easier with time.

janb5

Hi HSL- what is the second job- how do you fit everything in? 

Honeysucklelou2

Job no 2 is in hospitality, so  kitchen work mainly, nothing glamorous!  I’ve only got a couple of shifts so fitting those in as I can  around the children. Fortunately having adult children means there is always someone at home.

Drawingaline

I also miss church. Unfortunately ours is a tiny housing estate church so can literally only fit 15 in with social distance. And I would really miss singing. I haven't got on with the online services at all, socialising and singing are huge parts of my faith. I may try and book in for the next service though. Some quiet contemplating will be useful.