From debt to freedom...

Honeysucklelou2

Thank you DAL, SA & Magicgal.

I’ve informed HMRC about DD3 entering Further Education but still quite a steep reduction. I can only presume that some of it comes  from not having to pay nursery fees anymore although paying for wraparound care at school will kick in as soon as DS3 is full time.

Today has been the first day that everyone has returned to or started school. The silence was strange! Due to having children across 4 educational establishments the logistics are challenging, especially this week as DS3 has phased entry. I think  I drove at least 70 miles today just doing the school run!

DD2, DS3, the elderly lurcher and I did get out for a walk after tea. It is surprising how quickly the light fades at the moment!

Cherryfudge

Great that you have been able to find extra shifts - very resourceful of you especially at such short notice.
It must feel very different with everyone out and about during the day and your taxi service in such demand! Is there any possibility you could share with another parent or are you not close enough?
I was surprised at how quickly it went dark this evening, too. At one point I was admiring a pretty sunset then I went to take the recycling out and it was nearly dark. Then, with it being a quite evening at work, the other staff and I started discussing Advent Calendars! The heating went on for the first time yesterday evening and I saw a display of Halloween costumes a couple of days ago. I think that was the day I also say the first leaves changing to yellow. 'Grey hairs and golden leaves cry out the year and I are old...' as Chesterton has it.

janb5

Well done HSL for maintaining your equanimity in such trying times on all levels!  Is it worth ringing up to see if they have assessed your tax credits correctly?

Onebrokelady

Hi, I've just finished reading your whole diary and just wanted to say how amazingly well I think you cope with everything, your children sound lovely and a credit to you and can you add me to the list of people who want to bop your ex on the nose please. I'm subscribing because I think you are inspirational, I've even baked over the last week after reading your diary and I don't do that often 😂

Honeysucklelou2

Thank you Cherryfudge, Janb5 & OBL .

Cherryfudge - unfortunately the distance between home and the furthest school makes sharing with other parents tricky.

OBL - Thank you for popping by. I was so glad to read that you had been baking. The cakes sounded delicious, on your diary.

Sleep patterns are a little skewed at the moment. Work is going well, but mornings are a bit of a rush at the moment. Next week will be our first week of proper routine, so I know the logistics will crank up another notch yet!

Yesterday evening the ex was cooking for the children.  He was not in the best of moods. Knowing that DD1 & 3 were there, the elderly lurcher and I had a gentle amble around the public footpaths a little way from  the allotment. It was lovely to catch the evening air and enjoy the sight of the hedges and fields bathed in golden sunlight, the sky was the palest blue and clear of any clouds. The bullocks that were  gangly teenage cows back in April,  now look huge !  The elderly lurcher was in good form, breaking into a jog at various points. He just seemed happy to be out and about. After the worry about him a few weeks ago, it really was a joy to see him jogging along.  The hedges contained lots of glossy blackberries, so I picked as I walked and found I’d picked a pound, when I returned home.  On my return the ex had gone, so I had tea - good old poached egg on toast, delicious!

On a positive note, I did reduce the standing order from my personal current account to the mortgage account, by £50. That £50 I then used to make an overpayment on one of the Window loans. I must get an up to date figure, but I think it should now be in the mid £600s. It’s coming down slowly.

janb5

Dare I ask why ex is cooking in the house and appears to be making inroads into your personal space!
I wondered whether you had had a response from your solicitor from a few weeks back.

Sun_Addict

Unless you want him in your house he shouldn't be there! I'm pleased to hear your dog has got a new lease of life after all the worry.

Honeysucklelou2

Thank you Janb5 & SA. Unfortunately, because the house is still jointly owned ( waiting on mediation and  the consent order ) he can legally come and go at will. The same reason I can’t legally change the locks. When we first separated, I suggested, in the absence of a formal court order ( never realising it would take 4 years just to get to mediation) he cook a meal midweek, so the children could see their dad and know when they were going to see him. Since I don’t  know where he lives, I can’t send them to his place, so by default he ends up cooking here. It’s really not ideal and my solicitor has advised its is an issue to  cover at mediation.  Because it has dragged on so long, I now have to get fresh valuations done on the house and possibly a fresh pension forecast which is frustrating as I had all this ready 18 months ago😣. When I have the valuations and the ex has got all his paperwork together, mediation can finally begin. One of today’s jobs is to book the valuations for next week. Between the 2 jobs and the children being at school, I think it narrows it down to a Friday!

DD2’s birthday today, so will be making a cake this morning 😀.

janb5

Would it make a difference if you found his address online and then said you needed him to help with childcare for ds1?
Totally miserable for you and I think it's worth flagging up that his procrastination has caused unnecessary costs for you as outlined above.

Sun_Addict

That sounds so unfair on you, talk about him having his cake and eating it. Hope you manage to get everything moving forward soon.

Hope DD2 has a lovely birthday 🎂