From debt to freedom...

Honeysucklelou2

Thank you Sashybo, SA, SH, Janb5 & Spendless.

I don’t understand the ex’s objection to me painting, other than I’m doing it and I’m being independent about it. The kitchen does look better although it could do with a second coat today or tomorrow.  I decided to paint it, as invariably with many dogs and many children, it can look quite grubby, just from the dogs brushing past, if they’ve been outside and got wet and muddy, so I just wanted to freshen it up. 

This week has been a challenging one. DD1 ended up in hospital, having had a bad episode of her health condition. Thankfully after observation and a scan, she was allowed out. I went to collect her and was met by security guards at the A and E door. I can see why they were there but hadn’t expected their presence! I had to take DD2 to a local hospital later in the week as she’s injured her collarbone. Not sure quite what’s wrong but she’s in a sling for the time being. I have to say that in DD2’s case, as we at a more local Minor Injuries department, she was seen remarkably quickly. She was in and out in 30 mins whereas usually it’s a 3-4 hour wait.

Yesterday I got caught out when my card was declined somewhere. I am really careful to check my balance regularly through the month and check on any upcoming  payments but  when I checked a large chunk of money had gone out to a company I don’t use, so I had to ring  the bank. Thankfully they were on the ball and have cancelled my card and hopefully will recover or do something about the missing chunk of money. On the positive side, it will make sure I have NSDs! Thankfully I have my wages from job no 2 paid into a different account, so I can at least get petrol if I need to. I had to use some of those wages to get petrol yesterday ( when my other card was declined) so my plan to get overpayments done from my second job is delayed for this week. I have £15 saved from tips so those savings can build up a little.

enthusiasticsaver

How frustrating to have to cope with the frozen bank account and missing money. Hope the bank sorts it quickly and sensible to have a second account so you at least have access to money.

Your ex was out of line re the kitchen painting. Sounds like a control freak. It will be nice for you to move forward once this stage of divorce is in the past. You do very well with a large family. Kudos on driving lessons with DD3.  I remember those well with my DDs. Great for them to get as much practice as possible but can be nerve wracking initially. 

Cherryfudge

That does sound like a difficult week. I'm glad the daughters are back out of hospital, but it must have been stressful at the time, and then to have money disappearing out of your account and have to wait for a new card...

Someone on another thread was just talking about adding sloes to yogurt. Is that your kind of thing? I thought if you can forage any, they might stretch the budget, and being dark in colour I expect they are good for reducing inflammation and increasing brain health.

magicgal

Unless you did something to devalue the home, he doesn’t really get a say given that it’s you and kids actually living there. My ex permitted a smoke alarm directly above the cooker while we were separated and it’s wired into the he electrics so I can’t just take it down. It drives me mad and I was fuming at his stupidity. But when I ‘refreshed’ the walls after he left, he couldn’t stand it. I even told him how much the girls had contributed and still couldn’t say a nice word simply because he hadn’t been a part of it. I suspect it’s a power thing that has your ex moaning and you just gotta remember that it’s HIS issue. Don’t let him make it yours. 

Sorry to hear about all the ailments you have had to address for the children. I hope both are on the meds sooner than later. And how frustrating about the card. I hope you aren’t waiting long to have the funds returned. And I am so glad you have the back up from the second job. I hope in amongst all that, you are finding some time for yourself. Please do even if it’s just a half hour to have a bath without interruption or to do something that is just for you. X

Sun_Addict

Sorry to hear this week has been a tad carp 😩 Boo to DDs 1&2 having dealings with the hospital, hope all is ok on that front 🤞 OMG to the card fiasco, hopefully this will get sorted, good job you noticed 😱

Oh flipping‘eck 😩

janb5

magicgal said:

Unless you did something to devalue the home, he doesn’t really get a say given that it’s you and kids actually living there. My ex permitted a smoke alarm directly above the cooker while we were separated and it’s wired into the he electrics so I can’t just take it down. It drives me mad and I was fuming at his stupidity. But when I ‘refreshed’ the walls after he left, he couldn’t stand it. I even told him how much the girls had contributed and still couldn’t say a nice word simply because he hadn’t been a part of it. I suspect it’s a power thing that has your ex moaning and you just gotta remember that it’s HIS issue. Don’t let him make it yours. 

Sorry to hear about all the ailments you have had to address for the children. I hope both are on the meds sooner than later. And how frustrating about the card. I hope you aren’t waiting long to have the funds returned. And I am so glad you have the back up from the second job. I hope in amongst all that, you are finding some time for yourself. Please do even if it’s just a half hour to have a bath without interruption or to do something that is just for you. X

Maybe an electrician can remove it!

janb5

Hi HSL, I totally empathize on the horrid week you have had  The last time there was a problem with my card was when the bank decided to block it as there was `unusual activity` mmm..... not been spending due to Covid!  There was huge queue at the time in the store! I am so impressed by the amazing way you keep care of your family and we are all banging the drum for you so don`t lose heart.  Life will get better

Honeysucklelou2

Thank you Janb5, Cherryfudge, ES, SA & Magicgal. Thank you for your words of encouragement.

Cherryfudge- I’d not heard of putting  sloes with yogurt, but I do have lots of blackthorn bushes at the allotment so can go foraging and try.🙂

Magicgal - I did get out for a walk on Sunday afternoon which is as close as it gets to finding time for myself! I felt it was time for another exploring walk as it seems so long since we’ve had time to do one of those. There is a public footpath sign that I pass on my commute to work, that is about a third of the way to work . We parked up and followed the path which took us to a very narrow lane which eventually led to a path and over a small footbridge. DS3 was delighted to have time for a little pooh sticks!  Beyond the footbridge, we followed an intriguing path that led us out into the wide open space of a corner of the estuary. The tide was out so it was easy to see established paths that took you around the edge of the estuary, going further out to sea or a path that meandered through to the edge of the nearest town. We walked towards the edge of the town and as we looked back to the point we had crossed the footbridge, it was a glorious Autumnal sight. The estuary, in this corner, is lined around the very edge , with trees. The leaves were such beautiful colours  of yellow, red and brown, it was stunning. A sight to delight one’s heart!

Poor DD2 is still in quite a bit of pain, so am hoping to be able to make contact with a doctor. I’ve tried going through the electronic questionnaire online on the practice website but there wasn’t a button to press save and forward to the doctor.

Doing lots of taxiing around for the children to the point that I ended up going back and forth to the nearest town on 5 different occasions yesterday. Consequently my fuel bill is creeping up somewhat this month ☹️.

Cherryfudge

Your walks are always lovely! It sounds as if your autumn is a bit ahead of ours although we're further north (I wonder if that's because it's been so wet here!)

I meant to ask the originator of the sloes and yogurt idea whether she cooked them first. I'm also wondering if what I thought were sloes are actually wild damsons as the thorns were almost non-existent. My sloes/damsons are still awaiting use. I picked plenty but left a huge amount - they are abundant this year!

I hope you can speak to a doctor on behalf of your DD.

Honeysucklelou2

Thank you Cherryfudge - it took until yesterday but at last DD has seen a doctor. It seems that rest and painkillers are all that’s being suggested. She has been in so much pain this week☹️.

Today has been absolutely glorious here, one of those golden Autumn days. DD1 has had her BF visiting this week, but due to rule of six, which we are over anyway, he stayed in a Travelodge. DD1 wanted us to go for breakfast today so that was a treat! I took them both to walk on the cliffs. It hadn’t occurred to me that as DS3 has got older we have done far more clifftop walking and we know many more walks through our exploratory meanders but these walks have largely been discovered while DD1 was at uni. I introduced them both to one of mine and DD2’s favourite clifftop rambles. It was stunning. The sea was a cobalt blue and really calm. The tide was out quite a way revealing more little hidden coves, largely inaccessible sadly, but beautiful.  The visibility was superb allowing us to see about 25 miles further up the coast. It always fun to spot and name the various  headlands! All I could hear was the sound of our footsteps, birdsong and the waves gently moving on the rocks below us.

After the walk, they wanted to go about 8 miles down the coast which we did. They opted for the cafe but I walked across the huge expanse of sand available due to the very low tide. I very rarely get chance to go for a walk on my own but it was really nice today to have that opportunity to go at my own pace and wander at will!  I walked round to almost the next cove, just rejoicing in the beauty around me and felt so thankful to be alive and have my sight. Just across the sea on the other side, a tractor was busy ploughing - the farmer’s have to contend with such a variety of gradients. The chocolate brown of the ploughed field contrasted with the dark green of the almost - ready - to - harvest brassicas in the next field. I returned to the car with such a sense of contentment that has stayed  me all day. The wet weather at the beginning of this month meant that I didn’t get out very much making today very welcome.

Moneywise I was paid yesterday from job 2, so I’ve used £25 to add to the Help to Save account. I meant to have done £12.50 a week, so this payment is from last week’s and this week’s wages. I’ve spent a shocking £120 on diesel in the last 7 days. It is simply due to lots of taxiing of various children to places in addition to the usual commute to work. It’s not sustainable at all, so am going to look carefully at where I can amalgamate or cut journeys.