Been Told By Father I have Bipolar???????

System

Does your dad understand what bipolar is? Could he be seeing the depressive times and then confusing the ASD behaviours with what he thinks bipolar is? Bipolar can be, hard to understand. My parents don;t really now much about it bar what they've seen and they haven;t seen a lot of it. Sometimes older people can;t accept people being different. They think it didn;t happen back in their day (it did) or that these illnesses didn;t exist (they did).

When your dad talk of you having bipolar does he come across as saying it in relation to previous feelings and making you seem "crazy" to excuse past behaviours? Or is it in the sense of he genuinely thinks you have got and wants you to get help? I agree if you've been seen by specialists for your ASD that they would most likely have pickeed up on it if you had it.

[Deleted User]

I think he's concerned. He's known me go through some very unhappy times. But never seen anything remotely like a manic mood lol.

He was very very middle class, and is a man of that world and his age, quite old fashioned in some ways, so sometimes I have startled him with my views. There's a lot unsaid between us so he probably doesn't have a clue who I am. I've protected him a fair bit from things that have happened although he knows some of it. When I was in hosptial after being raped (because of my relative innocence at the time, it would't have happened if i'd have been more worldly wise) many years ago, he told me it was my fault because sex shouldn't come about between a man and women before marriage. Obviously no idea what rape actually is. As distraught as I was at the time, I wasn't in a state to challenge that idea (and was not dealing well with 'what did i do to cause this' thoughts myself). But it was one of many things that didn't make for a close relationship. He's also told me he's not my father, that my mother had an affair - without a single clue how that might affect me. Its not true.., I even look like him lol. He always has been a bit crass in that way. But at the time it was a bit of a shocker.


Anyway I am very happy that I don't have bipolar, and have gotten over the fact that he's suggested I have. It just shook me up at the time for reasons I have explained.

bouicca21

I know plenty of people who think depression = bipolar. It's become something of a fashionable label.

It's hard coping with parents whose world view is so different to one's own, even after their deaths. In some ways it's quite comforting to know that there are families out there who aren't all like the Waltons.

EdwardB

Dird wrote: »

Just saying

Autism should be erased from the English language. Never heard of it when I was in school, now everyone apparently has it

Your comment is offensive, others seem to think "it is just Dird trying to provoke someone again, ignore them"

Autism affects around 1 in 96 people in the UK, your comments are offensive to them, to their families and the people that care for them.

Autism has to be diagnosed by at least two clinicians including a consultant level doctor.

It is in the DSM V, Doctors have to train for 7 years and work till they are consultant level, but you know better.

Of course you never heard of it when you were in school, it was discovered after the war by two completely independently who noticed it in children, but it took till around 1990 to be put into DSM V because it is a complex condition.

For you to say it should be erased is like saying you had never seen black or gay people where you grew up so they should be erased.

You comment also suggests that they do not have it, again offensive.

You know the OP is on the spectrum, you know she has two kids who are, so this is really vindictive bullying on your part.

When someone says "Just saying" they know they are going to offend.

Your comment has been reported for the offence it has caused, if you keep making offensive comments you get a yellow, then red card, then banned.

IF you would like to educate yourself please visit http://autism.org.uk or watch the 300 odd NAS videos at https://www.youtube.com/user/NationalAutisticSoc/videos

EdwardB

deannatrois wrote: »

OK., I have two children with ASD, been diagnosed recently myself. I also get a bit depressed sometimes and sometimes a bit stressed (tiredness and there's a lot of stuff to deal with) but deal with it all as best as I can.

My dad, whose 82 told me a couple of days ago that I shouldn't get upset but he thinks I have Bipolar.., but not to worry, it can be treated. He brought it up a couple of years ago as well. Its obviously a lingering diagnosis in his head. I told him that I actually have autism (I did tell him was being assessed but didn't go into details). Was assessed very thoroughly by the Royal Maudsley so anything else would have shown up and been discussed as a possibility (was also assessed for ADHD).

I have never ever even been close to Manic lol. More in the depths because of things life throws at you sometimes. But you cope, you have to when there's so much that needs to be done (with two children with ASD and related problems).

It has upset me a bit. I had a childhood where my parents (mother and stepfather) tried to accuse me of being insane so I'd think things that had happened hadn't, and things that didn't happen had (it wasn't a good childhood). So I always questioned my sanity.

My dad needs my care (he has Parkinsons quite badly) but at the moment I feel like I don't want see him again lol. I hate people tossing quite serious mental health labels around thinking they know what they are talking about. It makes me feel quite vulnerable to know he thinks I have Bipolar. I suppose that won't make much sense. I don't really know how to face him. It takes a lot of confidence away somehow to know he thinks I have Bipolar. My confidence isn't what it could be at the best of times.

Deanna, I think you are really admirable, you have a lot to cope with and yet you maintain your values and remain calm under fire.

If you ask yourself "why did this comment hurt me", it is ONLY because he is your father and you trust him because he is a parent.

It is clear that he has a history of saying some very hurtful things (about the rape) and that he seems to get some sort of pleasure at saying hurtful things (saying not your father).

At the end of the day he has no clinical training so his opinion is not worth much, but it has pain value because he is your dad.

When people read the DSM diagnosis criteria for a condition they have they usually say "yes that is me", you know yourself and from what you have said you do not have the mania. Even if you did have it, so what, you have done well and it would not make a difference to who you are and have always been.

They say that as we get older we revert to being children, your comment about his food demonstrated that in a great way. This is classic dementia and it will probably get worse and harder to deal with.

I respect that you want to do the right thing for him, but at some point the Parkinsons is going to be too much to manage, so try to be prepared. It took two members of my family to accept it was too much and put my father in a care home. It really was the best thing for him.

Being on the spectrum makes you different, but we are all different and we probably all have some autistic traits in us. Over time there will be more acceptance of being different but until then just keep on doing what you are doing!

annandale

The unhelpful comment on this thread was challenged by two posters.

Other comments made by the same poster elsewhere were challenged strongly and reported