Ready to do it all over again ...

Alisonpennypincher

Hello BBaM

Hoping that you are recovered and feeling much better?

I'm a bit of a lurker, but have been reading with interest as we are hoping to move soon too.

Hoping you've had some good news there too?!

blackcatsx2

Hello Benben (andAlison) hope all is well. I'm in the negotiating a new price phase with my purchasers - aargh is all I can say, so frustrating, trying to be grown up and look to the bigger picture but it's not easy. Well done to Bournemouth by the way - a great point. outrageous FA decisions on the bans though. Loved the Barcelona game and the Arsenal game although that's not very sporting of me!

tigzem

Any news on the house?

benbenandme

Sorry for being awol for a bit - so you know how life has a habit of throwing curveballs, well I've pretty much been run over by a dumper truck

So ... no news on an exchange as yet, still waiting for the buyers solicitor to pull their finger out. But more importantly than that everything else has gone so so wrong in the last week ...

I haven't been happy at work for a while, unhappy with the expectations, the way the new head is running things and I had planned to stay about another year and then once the move had happened and we were settled to start looking for something else. Well, as you know ds has asd and struggles with his behaviour and always has done (Tigz will vouch for that ), anyway, last week he thumped another kid in his class There is no justification for it whatsoever, he is utterly in the wrong and I am not supporting his actions one tiny bit, however, he receives absolutely no support from sen whatsoever despite being entitled to support. School have admitted they have let him down here. However ultimately he is on the verge of being permanently excluded. I know, because I've seen it happen to so many others, that they want him back in and they will provide support before doing a managed move to another school. This means they tick their box for ofsted that they have put some support in place. It's too little, too late, the decision is basically already made.

I'm not coping, I've been signed off for two weeks as I am struggling to know what the hell to do as well as finding my position at school untenable. I have an interview on thursday for a 12 hour a week supermarket job which would mean I could tell them to stuff their job. But I still need to decide what to do with ds. I basically have three choices:

(a) managed move to local school, the worst school in our area, ds would only know 2 people there, both had managed moves from our school and are not the students I would want him mixing with whatsoever.

(b) another localish school, would be awkward for getting him there/back but could be just about manageable. Would know one boy, again another one that was moves that I wouldn't want him near.

(c) home educating him - I have enough teacher friends who could support me with this and I think being out of a school environment that he has hated since reception may help him with his anger / behaviour issues. However there is the worry that he may refuse to engage with work etc and I would be stuck on my own with it, plus theres the financial aspect of paying for exams etc.

Life's truly !!!! sometimes ....

Alisonpennypincher

Hi BB,

So sorry to hear that you are having a tough time, I wish I could offer wise words of advice but all I can offer is a virtual hug.

Could you not approach the Governors as I know this can sometimes result in more action being taken? As you work at the school could you not persuade them to work with DS whilst leaving him where he is? I'm sure you have thought of all this, sorry.

If going to work in a supermarket would make you happier/less stressed then go for it!

Hope you get some good house news soon. Keep your chin up BB

X

beanielou

Sorry to hear this.
Is your DS too young to get even a part time place at college which would tick the boxes for education? Remind me how old he is?

TallGirl

Sorry to hear that BenBen must be so hard and being on your own guessing the ex isn't much help. Homeschooling is a huge step not that I have any experience of it and as for changing jobs do you think that would make you happy long term? Would you not miss the challenge of work and using your skills more fully? Hard one also the finances obviously but again you have to do what's best for the two of you. I would try and put pressure on the school as you work there if you can use any contacts you have not my area of expertise unfortunately.

Hugs and take care.

benbenandme

Thanks all, he's not yet old enough for a college place - he's in year 9 at the moment so two years to go at school. He could, if home schooled, do a work placement somewhere though, a voluntary one to do with trains would be ideal.

There is not point trying to go through the governors or even working with the school, I have seen too many kids on this path and it only ever ends one way, the new head basically doesn't tolerate any kid who doesn't totally value their education and thank the Lord everyday for having the opportunity to come to school. In an ideal world all kids would be like this but I do wonder sometimes why he is in education and if he has met 98% of our students :cool:

Tonight I've had a good chat with Mum and she thinks the best option is the home schooling. He had huge issues with transition from KS1 to KS2 and again from KS2 to KS3, there were loads of extra visits put in place etc as he couldn't cope, so the added stress of moving school mid year 9 could be disastrous too I have told the GP I think he may be depressed, he has no interest in anything other than his transport, he rarely socialises with friends etc, has minimal interest in his appearance / hygiene etc

The supermarket certainly isn't a life's ambition but it will remove the work stress I'm constantly under at the moment which can only be a good thing. At some point in a couple of years when his exams are done then I can find a 'proper' job again, but til then I need to make him my priority. As long as I can cover my bills then it will do I reckon.

dangers

Sorry to hear of the problems you are having Benben. What beanielou said rang a bell with me - one of our local colleges does vocational courses for children aged 14+. It may be worth your while investigating with your local colleges.

Hugs to you both. X

beanielou

You can only do what you think is best for your DS.
It is such a difficult age.
I really feel for you & for your DS.
Shame on the school for not having all the help it can in place.