Looking at other women on social media

zagfles

comeandgo wrote: »

Actually that is how our marriage works. I work in male dominated career, I can be the only female in a room of men, I have lots of male friends, some I am in contact with daily, some weekly. My husband and I don't spend all our time being totally dependent on one another. My husband can talk to any female he wants, he can look at anything he wants, I'm not going to dictate to him what he can and can not do.

Exactly - I've got loads of female friends, my wife has loads of male friends, and we use FB to comminicate quite a lot. And we look at our friends' pictures. Some are even ex's (from a long time ago).

Are some people really so insecure that they find this a problem? Or have so little trust in their partner? This board really gets more and more like a parallel universe to me!

oystercatcher

I spend a fair bit of time on FB, I belong to a few hobby related groups and I quite often browse the pages of people who post interesting comments or projects. Not because I am stalking them or anything weird I am just interested in people and some times on FB one interesting link leads to another and another and I find something really interesting hobbywise. I am pretty sure my husband does similar for his own very different interests. We trust each other and have no reason to be jealous.

I have also looked up people who were my previous boyfriends at school etc. just because I wonder what happened to them , not to rekindle anything. Mostly it's a case of 'I'm glad I didn't end up with him ! ' :rotfl:

System

I'll be honest, the bf probably does look at other womens pictures (though i'm talking more about ones that come up in his newsfeed as opposed to actually going and sifting through someone pictures), he sometimes likes them. However, i trust him. I;ve made it very clear to him that i;ve been taken for a fool in the past and all i want is honesty. I;ve told him if he ever gets the the point of being unhappy, leave but don;t cheat. He assured me that should it ever get to that point he;d leave not cheat. And i believe him. I have to. A realtionship without trust does not work. AFAIk he just looks at pictures, doesn;t message anyone (i;ve seen his recent chats, they're all his mates and me).

I do not want to be the controlling possesive girlfriend who tells him what he can and cannot do, He;s an adult, he has free will. he knows the price he will pay if he ever did stray and seeing as he;s very much about us moving in together and starting a life together i have no reason not to trust him.