Looking at other women on social media

SailorSam

I don't use FB or Instagram.
I don't know if you can call Mse, social media. But then there are no photos on here.

duchy

I was looking at a bloke wondering why he was on my FB yesterday. Turns out I worked with him 35 years ago, my first husband is also on there, he's building a new house and fulfilling a bit of a dream so it's interesting to follow, they are two that spring to mind. There are certainly others.My partner is on his old home town remembered page and his old school page and plenty of the people he is reminiscing with are female (some old girlfriends). Neither of us feel it's inappropriate , it's a matter of trust.

indiepanda

Hurtandconfused wrote: »

Just wondering if there's a male/female opinion divide on this, or if I'm just being particularly prudish.


Do you think looking through photos of other women (or other men) on Facebook, Instagram and so on is normal behaviour when in a committed relationship? Would there be a point where it went from normal (for example looking up the odd opposite gender colleague out of curiosity) to unsuitable (looking several times a day, or is that still normal)? Would it feel more or less OK to you if it was lots of different women, or the same few on more than one occasion? Strangers miles away, or people physically quite close to your location? No messages, friend requests or 'likes' to make it public, just looking through multiple photos

I would find it a bit odd if my partner was spending hours looking at the same people on Facebook without even being friends with them. But I'd probably find that odd behaviour in someone who was single too.

Tiddlywinks

You either trust the person or you don't.

Where's the harm in looking?

I look at books for a bit of 'cookery !!!!!!' every day but doesn't mean I'm going to gorge on every recipe. I just like thinking of the possibilities. Is looking at pretty pictures of people much different?

If a partner wants to stray then s/he will - the Internet just makes hooking up more convenient for the lazy.

Proxima_Centauri

Tiddlywinks wrote: »

Where's the harm in looking?

I think it depends on what works for them as a couple.

Some people take the attitude that you can whet your appetite wherever you like as long as you eat at home!

Hermia

I wouldn't have a problem if a guy was gawping at hot celebrities online. If he was spending time trawling social media for hot girls in our town I would be concerned.

consumers_revenge

Have a few times seen a friend of a friend fb pic online and gone to see if it's a good photo or that's what they actually look like. Then have Also looked at the profiles of people I'm friends with, maybe old friends to see what the persons they married/ partners look like. Just nosey that's all, don't want to bonk them lol.

Same to me as when you see a house a few doors up from you comes on the market you have a nose out of curiosity on the estate agents website. Or am I the only one?

anotheruser

Mojisola wrote: »

I'd be concerned if my OH was spending a lot of time looking up pictures of one particular person who he worked with or knew socially.

This is where the problem is.

A lot is subjective. To someone, it might be 10; to someone else, it might be 100. An excellent example is sexual partners. Some people think 10 is a lot, where as there's a lot of guys these days who are well over 100 before they're married... makes the 10 seem not too bad.


Back to the question in hand...

I chose "other" as I wouldn't say it's completely fine/normal, but I wouldn't say it's unacceptable either.
I look at other people on facebook as I am nosey. But I will look perhaps twice a year, at about 15 photos per person if that. But it's not exactly once every 6 months, and I will probably get too busy in life to care what my old school "mates" who I'm not even friends with are doing in their lives.

justme111

Lily-Rose wrote: »

I don't think you have to be insecure or paranoid to think your man looking at other women or paying attention to other women is inappropriate and unacceptable.

Why not to have him wear an eyemask outdoors then ?
On a serious note it all depends on what exactly attention and looking. Making sweeping statement like that is seriously posessive.
Re your friend - so she has her Christmas ruined when someine got her husband better present than her , really ? May be it was guilty conscience speaking that she did not put thought or money into husband's present ?
I would have been proud for him having made the difference to someone's life when they were low and that it was appreciated. But every couple differs , I would have as well told him where to go if he tried to censor my communication with opposite sex, suppose there marriage is not great in more than one way..

jamiehelsinki

It could be worse, he could be viewing !!!!!!.

I would guess he's not completely happy in the relationship though. It's a bit like window shopping and seeing what's about!