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Sending a card to an elderly relative or friend? VENT
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Not least because a card is delivered here every year for the occupants who left in 1998. If I can be bothered I pop it round, why they can't pass on their "new" address is beyond me. If it had a return address on I would simply return to sender.
It is possible that the sender of the card has been informed of the recipient's new address, but for some reason hasn't updated their address bookIf you are querying your Council Tax band would you please state whether you are in England, Scotland or Wales0 -
SpammyTheSpammer wrote: »That's quite a good idea but the address book is years old, not been updated for ages, and we cannot find these people in it in the first place.
Also worry about how many of the people in that list are alive &/or still conscious.
Otherwise it would be problem solved. But thanks for the helpfull suggestion.
I think you could still do this.
You can include in the note something to say "We are working from [relative's name]'s address book and understand that this may be out of date, so apologise if you have recieved this in error" (or something ofthe kind)
Put a return address on your own messages. That way, the ones which are still corect will get through, which may reduce the number of cards etc which come.
I also recommend that you take the cards in and put them in your relative's room. Even if she doesn't remember who they are from , seeing them may be pleasant for her and let her see that people care about her.
Try not to be too upset. I would guess that those who don't know about her illness are people who are not close to her - they are chosingto send the card despite having heard nothing from her for over a year, which is their choice, so it's unlikely that they are fretting over the lack of a response.
It may go on for a while. I got a christmas card fr the last-but-one occupant of my previous house evey year for over 10 years. I was able to send it on to her a couple of times (after the council sent her ID to my house when she applied for a bus pass - the letterhad her corect address on but the envelope had mine) - I don't know whether she contacted the senders but if so it didn't 'take' as the cards continued to arrive .All posts are my personal opinion, not formal advice Always get proper, professional advice (particularly about anything legal!)0 -
Some people don't bother updating their list of who they send Christmas cards to. Know of a few friends and family who had cards adressed to them and their deceased partner or ex. This upsets them especially when it continues to happen a few years too.This is a system account and does not represent a real person. To contact the Forum Team email forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com0
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I'm bringing this thread back to show that putting an address to return cards works. Had a card returned today as person no longer there which I wouldn't have known otherwise. My address book has had the correction made immediatelyLost my soulmate so life is empty.
I can bear pain myself, he said softly, but I couldna bear yours. That would take more strength than I have -
Diana Gabaldon, Outlander0 -
I also recommend that you take the cards in and put them in your relative's room. Even if she doesn't remember who they are from , seeing them may be pleasant for her and let her see that people care about her.
Thanks but we tried this just before xmas and she just got really upset, saying things like "I do not know these people" and "How did they get my address, take them away, I dont want to see them"I am a cow so cannot speak Bullshine but I do recognise its smell when I come upon it.0 -
Torry_Quine wrote: »I'm bringing this thread back to show that putting an address to return cards works. Had a card returned today as person no longer there which I wouldn't have known otherwise. My address book has had the correction made immediately
and, of course, you are just wasting time and money by sending cards to someone who may no longer be at that address but has no means of notifying you.I am a cow so cannot speak Bullshine but I do recognise its smell when I come upon it.0 -
SpammyTheSpammer wrote: »and, of course, you are just wasting time and money by sending cards to someone who may no longer be at that address but has no means of notifying you.
This too, I know now not to send a card to them. I can reuse the card.Lost my soulmate so life is empty.
I can bear pain myself, he said softly, but I couldna bear yours. That would take more strength than I have -
Diana Gabaldon, Outlander0
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