Sending a card to an elderly relative or friend? VENT

Manxman_in_exile

Mojisola wrote: »

In a similar situation, we printed off a little message explaining the situation and sent it to everyone in his address book (obviously apart from the people who already knew what was going on).

That's what my wife did for her mother.

SpammyTheSpammer

These people have taken the trouble to send a card to my relative, some are clearly close friends, by the comments included, and I have no means of notifying them.
Or warning them that they are wasting their time and money by sending cards out in the first place.
Those of you that are sending out 100+ cards each xmas, how many of those are wasted due to a simple lack of return address? Who knows...

SpammyTheSpammer

Mojisola wrote: »

....We found quite a few of his contemporaries used names other than their formal ones so the people sending the cards may well be in her address book. A card from "Johnnie" might actually be from Mr William Smith who picked up a nickname because of his fondness for a particular whisky.

The other holder of the LPoA has the address book, they are going to write to all those in it as suggested.

I don't expect that this will stop the problem next xmas tho....

lincroft1710

SpammyTheSpammer wrote: »

Frankly this whole thing is very upsetting for me....

You shouldn't be getting upset about this, there's nothing you can do other than write to the people in the address book. Most people in your position have had to deal with this.

One aspect to consider, if the only communication with your relative has been an annual Xmas card, were they really that close.

Bogalot

Our experience is that word will generally filter through via mutual friends. X will write and say that y and z are now incapacitated/ passed away, then we will pass that on to others. It may take a year or so but people do get to know. And they understand if cards are not received in return, life circumstances change and for whatever reason it's just not possible to keep up with everyone.

Just remember you're doing your best - you've nothing to feel bad about.

Rosemary7391

A suggestion for those who want to put return addresses but can't face writing out their full address - if I'm in a hurry I just put the flat number, house number and postcode on the back. That's enough information to find it on the RM postcode checker. I usually add my surname too.

SpammyTheSpammer

lincroft1710 wrote: »

...One aspect to consider, if the only communication with your relative has been an annual Xmas card, were they really that close.

They could have been telephone calling. No way to monitor this unfortunately.

takman

SpammyTheSpammer wrote: »

They could have been telephone calling. No way to monitor this unfortunately.

If that was the case then they would already know the situation considering that you said this is the second year this is happening.

I personally wouldn't worry about it or let it concern you at all, just think of them as good decorations for their room. Anyone who doesn't know the situation can't be very close to them so it's not worth worrying about notifying them. Also some people who do know the situation may still want to send them a card anyway.

Valli

I quite agree actually. I have stickers with our address on bought when we moved in (there were lots) and I stick them on the envelopes.

Not least because a card is delivered here every year for the occupants who left in 1998. If I can be bothered I pop it round, why they can't pass on their "new" address is beyond me. If it had a return address on I would simply return to sender.

Torry_Quine

I put my address on the back of all cards sent at Christmas. It's common sense to me.

Very few that I receive have an adress though, this year I've had cards delivered which aren't for me but can't return to sender .